Why Is Getting Married Made So Hard?WHY????

Light of Heaven said:
Girlfriend/boyfriend relationships are haraam brother. Maybe you mean something else?
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Assalam aleykoum my sister,


I mean to see her with parents and sisters, with people, is not allowed ?

Is it Haram to love somebody before getting married ???


Thank you for your reply.


Assalam aleykoum, I ask god to forgive us and to guide us Insha'Allah, Amine.
 
:sl: Wr Wb...
Bro Your thread made me LAUGH OUT LOUD.. For several reasons aktally, tha first being tha manner in which you wrote it and tha patheticness of tha Pakistani community..
Its hard to change tha wurld and tha whole community so I guess you have to start within your own family.. It probably will take much effort trying to convince our family that these practices [Esp Mehndi ERUGH] are out of Islam and I guess the root cause of this is jahiliyah. Buh if we try convincing our families ad friends that this is out of Islam & get rid of such things, then maybe just maybe we'll find a common ground or something of tha sort with tha rest of tha community... Buh it'll take time cause stuff like this is like been prakticed for a very long time. May Allah give us hidayaah...
I guess for tha rest of tha questions you asked, tha answer is because of tha current situation tha Ummah is in & all tha fitnah around us, its hard to seperate tha fake ones from tha genuine ones and tbh I cant stand tha faut of getting married myself, it scares me, especially wit a freshy whu is just looking for a visa. [InshAllah that doesnt happen to eny of us]. Buh I guess as I said, its guna be up to you to explain tha situation to your family and help them udnerstand your perspective.. & in effect help them differinciate between culture and religon. Keep trying till you get there I guess... Good Luck!
P.S, Eric H I totally agree!! & Congratulations!!
Peace & W/Salaam Wr Wb
 
thetruth2009 said:
Assalam aleykoum my sister,


I mean to see her with parents and sisters, with people, is not allowed ?

Is it Haram to love somebody before getting married ???


Thank you for your reply.


Assalam aleykoum, I ask god to forgive us and to guide us Insha'Allah, Amine.
Click to expand...

With her mahram around is ok...but girlfriend is the wrong term :/ That means different.
 
asalam u alikum wa rehamtulahi wa berkathu

i started this thread and i donot even say anything:embarrass:hiding: SUBHAN ALLAH i am overwhelmed by all the responses keep them coming

now let me reply all of u one by one,bare with me plz brothers and sisters

brother antikaratekid first why do you look at sisters who are married or who are not married :hmm::hmm:???bu ti know what you mean lol

sister safiya ur saying all that was in my mind but can you not invite all these relatives to the big walima you can coz its a BIG walima hena?Doing mehndi(henna)without dancing and all satanic things is it ok??what if the gals are just playing the duff not the dholak i mean tha duff u know what i mean?u knw how asian mehndi goes guy sits down and he is force fedddddd like sooooooooooo much sweets its wkd:embarrass but if its not allowed i wont do it(not that i have found the girl lol)need to be ready initttttt lol

brother aziz muslim women are drawn to the THREE C'S CAR,CASH,CREDIT CARD.these are non practicing sisters.these are materialistic people which you will find in abundance in muslim society these days but ALHMADULIALLAH there still are practicing sisters and insALLAH both me&u will find one same goes with the sisters insALLAH u single sisters will find the practicing brother who is just not in to looks and beauty.

brother truth may ALLAH make it easy for you AMEEN but make sure u dnt fall in to the trap of the biggest deciver the cursed the biggest enemy satan.

albanian sister are you sure you want that because there are so many guys out there who are just looking for the same thing as in a girl who is not looking for money but marrys for the sake of ALLAH SWT.May ALLAH help you in finding what your looking for.

sister muslim gyal our parents will not understand no matter how hard you try there last sentence is MUNDA SADAY FRIQAY TU BAHAR CHALA GAYA means our son has left our madhanb or firqa u know wat i mean?
as far as visa is concerned what i say to ppl is i dnt want ur visa or ur red passport i dnt wat ALLAH to save the queen why should i pledge my allegiance to the queen this is my view even before i became practicing ALHAMDULILALLAH.visa or passport for uk or any westeren countries never had an attraction for me but i know what you mean i have friends who have married for passport and if i wanted to i wud have married 2yrs ago and wud have had a indefinite visa nw and wud av had a red passport w8ing in line again do uknw wat i mean but again there is so much fitna and bad ppl around that every one has been given the good old cliche of passport kay liyay shaadi ker raha hai.i hope u understand urdu.

TIA sister r u laffing at me???imsadimsad


who av i left ermmm oh sister LOH what do i say to you??

:exhausted:exhausted


Jazak ALLAH
 
best of luck bro , try to make your parents understand. take help of some *knowledgable* elders .
 
also never stop giving support to sister bro .. i think converted people deserve the most respect than any of us .
 
asalam u alikum wa rehamtulahi wa berkathu

i started this thread and i donot even say anything SUBHAN ALLAH i am overwhelmed by all the responses keep them coming

now let me reply all of u one by one,bare with me plz brothers and sisters

brother antikaratekid first why do you look at sisters who are married or who are not married ???bu ti know what you mean lol

sister safiya ur saying all that was in my mind but can you not invite all these relatives to the big walima you can coz its a BIG walima hena?Doing mehndi(henna)without dancing and all satanic things is it ok??what if the gals are just playing the duff not the dholak i mean tha duff u know what i mean?u knw how asian mehndi goes guy sits down and he is force fedddddd like sooooooooooo much sweets its wkd but if its not allowed i wont do it(not that i have found the girl lol)need to be ready initttttt lol

brother aziz muslim women are drawn to the THREE C'S CAR,CASH,CREDIT CARD.these are non practicing sisters.these are materialistic people which you will find in abundance in muslim society these days but ALHMADULIALLAH there still are practicing sisters and insALLAH both me&u will find one same goes with the sisters insALLAH u single sisters will find the practicing brother who is just not in to looks and beauty.

brother truth may ALLAH make it easy for you AMEEN but make sure u dnt fall in to the trap of the biggest deciver the cursed the biggest enemy satan.

albanian sister are you sure you want that because there are so many guys out there who are just looking for the same thing as in a girl who is not looking for money but marrys for the sake of ALLAH SWT.May ALLAH help you in finding what your looking for.

sister muslim gyal our parents will not understand no matter how hard you try there last sentence is MUNDA SADAY FRIQAY TU BAHAR CHALA GAYA means our son has left our madhanb or firqa u know wat i mean?
as far as visa is concerned what i say to ppl is i dnt want ur visa or ur red passport i dnt wat ALLAH to save the queen why should i pledge my allegiance to the queen this is my view even before i became practicing ALHAMDULILALLAH.visa or passport for uk or any westeren countries never had an attraction for me but i know what you mean i have friends who have married for passport and if i wanted to i wud have married 2yrs ago and wud have had a indefinite visa nw and wud av had a red passport w8ing in line again do uknw wat i mean but again there is so much fitna and bad ppl around that every one has been given the good old cliche of passport kay liyay shaadi ker raha hai.i hope u understand urdu.

TIA sister r u laffing at me???

Jazak ALLAH
 
Ua aleykum salam ua rahmatullahi ua barakatu!

Wait,wait brother OxygenHacker !!!

If your familly want kufr rituals:say no,explain to them and finally make hijrah if they reject!I know ppl in Pk. are so much into hindu stuff (insha-Alla khair!)
How come muslims do such ****what green card,what dancing ?! :heated:

and you know brother: you have to feed your dream bride;you have to memorise whitout mistakes your duties as a muslim husband(and practise it :D) you don't have to make false oaths to her,you have to look good,as all of us(!):it is a sunna to be slim and strong,clean,clean,clean....and everything else ;D You don't only get form her-you must give too!
Are you ready for this?

I see here in Egypt,muslims start to wed islamic way: they give some food to the ppl in the local mosque,no party,no dress,no pics,no musik,no show up.It is so nice way:simple and don't waste money.
 
Haqeeka' said:
Ua aleykum salam ua rahmatullahi ua barakatu!

Wait,wait brother OxygenHacker !!!

If your familly want kufr rituals:say no,explain to them and finally make hijrah if they reject!I know ppl in Pk. are so much into hindu stuff (insha-Alla khair!)
How come muslims do such ****what green card,what dancing ?! :heated:

and you know brother: you have to feed your dream bride;you have to memorise whitout mistakes your duties as a muslim husband(and practise it :D) you don't have to make false oaths to her,you have to look good,as all of us(!):it is a sunna to be slim and strong,clean,clean,clean....and everything else ;D You don't only get form her-you must give too!
Are you ready for this?

I see here in Egypt,muslims start to wed islamic way: they give some food to the ppl in the local mosque,no party,no dress,no pics,no musik,no show up.It is so nice way:simple and don't waste money.
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asalam u alikum wa rehamtulahi wa berkathu

sister i know my duties and insALLAH i will fulfil my duties. I will provide the financial stability insALLAH and i do look gd and i will insALLAH.I am toned and hygenic. I Know marriage is not about what you can get from it is what you can give to it.yes i am ready for it are you sister?

I wana do the islamic way and insALLAH i will.

Jazak ALLAHU Khayrun
 
Assalamu allikum....

first of all why u worried........ a muslim...should leave his fate in Allah.

if he fixed one for u....ofcrse u will get a spouse decided by him &
Dont worry...keep ur patience & await for the day.

all those rejecting with reason..is experience & fate Of Allah.

say Allhamdullilah.....wait....its All from him.

Islamic Wedding
(
WEDDING OF FAATIMAH (RADHIYALLAAHU ANHA)
Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) is the youngest daughter of our beloved Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam). Out of all the children, he was the most beloved to him. He said, 'The Queen of the ladies in Jannat is Faatimah.' He also said, 'Faatimah is part of my body. Whoever grieves her, grieves me.'
When Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) reached the age of fifteen, proposals for her marriage began to come from high and responsible families. But the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) remained irresponsive.
Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu), who was 21 at the time, says: It occurred to me that I should go and make a formal proposal, but then I thought, 'How could this be accomplished, for I possess nothing.' At last, encouraged by the Prophet's kindness, I went to him and expressed my intention to marry Faatima (Radhiyallaahu Anha). The Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) was extremely pleased and asked, 'Ali! Do you possess anything to give her in Mahr?' I replied, 'Apart from a horse and an armour I possess nothing.'
The Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, 'A soldier must, of course, have his horse. Go and sell away your armour.'
So, Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu) went and sold his armour to Uthmaan (Radhiallaahu Anhu) for 480 Dirham and presented it to Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam). Bilaal (Radhiallaahu Anhu) was ordered by the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) to bring some perfume and a few other things and Anas (Radhiallaahu Anhu) was sent to call Abu Bakr, Uthmaan, Talhah, Zubayr with some companions from the Ansaar (Radhiallaahu Anhum).
When these men arrived and had taken their seats, the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) recited the Khutbah (sermon) of Nikaah and gave Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) in marriage to Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu). He announced, 'Bear you all witness that I have given my daughter Faatimah in marriage to Ali for 400 Mithqaal of silver and Ali has accepted.' He then raised his head and made Dua saying, 'O Allah, create love and harmony between these two. Bless them and bestow upon them good children.' after the Nikaah, dates were distributed.
When the time came for Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) to go to Ali's (Radhiallaahu Anhu) house, she was sent without any clamour, hue and cry accompanied Umm Ayman (Radhiallaahu Anhu). After the Aaisha Salaat, the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) went to their house, took permission and entered. He asked for a basin of water, put his blessed hands into it and sprinkled it on both Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu) and Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) and made Dua for them.
The sovereign of both worlds gave his beloved daughter a silver bracelet, two Yemeni sheets, four mattresses, one blanket, one pillow, one cup, one hand-grinding mill, one bedstead, a small water skin and a leather pitcher.
In this simple fashion, the wedding of the daughter of the leader of the worlds was solemnised. In following this Sunnah method, a wedding becomes very simple and easy to fulfill.
SOME METHODS DERIVED FROM THE ABOVEMENTIONED MARRIAGE
1. The many customs as regards engagement are contrary to the Sunnah. In fact, many are against the Shariah and are regarded sins. A verbal proposal and answer is sufficient.

2. To unnecessarily delay Nikah of both the boy and the girl after having reached the age of marriage is incorrect.

3. There is nothing wrong in inviting one's close associates for the occasion of Nikah. However, no special pains should be taken in gathering the people from far off places.

4. It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than the bride.

5. If the father of the girl is an Aalim or pious and capable of performing Nikah, then he should himself solemnise the marriage.

6. It is better to give the Mahr Faatimi and one should endeavour to do so. But if one does not have the means then there is nothing wrong in giving less.

7. It is totally un-Islamic for those, who do not possess the means, to incur debts in order to have grandiose weddings.

8. It is fallacy to think that one's respect will be lost if one does not hold an extravagant wedding and invite many people. What is our respect compared to that of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam)?

9. The present day practice of the intermingling of sexes is an act of sin and totally against Shariah.

10. There is nothing such as engagement parties and Medhi parties in Islam.

11. Great care must be taken as regards to Salaat on occasions of marriage by all - the bride, the bridegroom and all the participants.

12. It is un-Islamic to display the bride on stage.

13. The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride's family in holding a feast has no basis in Shariah.

14. For the engaged couple to meet at a public gathering where the boy holds the girl's hand and slips a ring on her finger is a violation of the Qur'anic law of Hijaab.

15. It is un-Islamic for the engaged couple to meet each other and also go out together.

16. Three things should be borne in mind when giving one's daughter gifts and presents at the time of Nikah:

Presents should be given within one's means (it is not permissible to take loans, on interest for such presents);
To give necessary items;
A show should not be made of whatever is given.

17. It is Sunnat for the bridegroom's family to make Walimah.
Note: In Walimah, whatever is easily available should be fed to the people and care should be taken that the is no extravagance, show and that no debts are incurred in the process.
18. To delay Nikah after the engagement is un-Islamic.
SOME CUSTOMS
In aping Western methods sheepishly, Muslims have adopted many customs which are un-Islamic and frowned upon.
Some examples are:
* Displaying the bride on stage;

* Inviting guests for the wedding from far off places;

* Receiving guests in the hall;

* The bride's people incurring unnecessary expenses by holding a feast which has no basis in Shariah. We should remember that Walimah is the feast arranged by the bridegroom after the marriage is consummated.

* It is contrary to Sunnah (and the practice of some non-Muslim tribes in India) to wish, hope for or demand presents and gifts for the bridegroom, from the bride's people. We should always remember that our Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) did not give Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu) anything except Dua.
Moulana M. Saleem Dhorat
Islamic Dawa Academy, England
 
asslamo 3alaykom wa ra7matullah
well, the main problem about marriage is that girls and boys don't search for the righteous persons..
girls are looking for a man who is wealthy wealthy, handsome and wealthy..
and men r lookin for a girl who is beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful and beautiful
(at least here in the arab world)..
for example last semester an old woman came to my faculty "Engineering" and sat in the "musallah" were we pray "killing two birds with one stone" :D and started to choose the most beautiful ones and talk to them..that seemed like buying tomato!!
no matter what her character or personality was
she believed that the most important thing in her son's wife -after the good salary- was the degree of her "WHITNESS"!!
 
OxygenHacker said:
asalam u alikum wa rehatulahi wa berkathu

i hope when you read this your in best of your health INSALLAH

Unfortunately i have come up with another thread regarding marriage.:exhausted

You have to have a good degree and a good job in order to get married. The girl or the guy has to be from the same race or in some cultures the same cast.Most of all the wedding ceremony i mean O M G the mehndi(henna), the wedding day and then the walima. All these haram things people dancing,free mixing and showing of the wealth, what is that?where is that in islam??All of these reasons are making guys and girls go towards haram things.We all have needs and desiers and if one doesnt fulfil them in the halal way then BAM satan comes in and say ''you know what allow the marriage you need to do this and to do that'' you know what i mean?

Where do we go now?What we do then?If our parents donot understand what are we supposed to do?I am sure i am speaking for many of the brothers and sisters out there.

There are other problems too practiciing brothers cant find practicing sister and vice versa.

lets take my example yes

i am 23yrs old i have a degree in business management(ASIAN YAAR:D) and i want to get married because i want to be away from the fitna.Dont get me wrong its not like i am desperate to get married but i will be lying if i say that i donot want to get married asap.First some of my elders tell me wait till your 27 because that is the perfect age to get married and when my parents start looking for a girl they apparently cannot seem to find a practicing muslimah i mean HELLO living in a muslim country and cannot find one what is that all about.Lets take western countries yes, practicing sisters here donot ask you anything about the deen first question is What Is Ur VISA STATUS.WHERE is that in islam??I agree that people from back home donot have the best of reputation but are all of them after your passport?I dont wana pledge my allegiance to the queen.ONE UMMAH right??Why is it so hard to fulfil the sunnah of our beloved PROPHET SAW


I have put forward my example just to give an idea of what i am trying to say.I hope every one understands it.INSALLAH

Jazak ALLAH
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Do you know bro..... fitna is the way of life nowadays. You might as well commit sin consistently, you'll proabbly get more nhappiness that way. Not even joking. You will, because sinners are happier than people who pray1
 
AnonymousGender said:
Do you know bro..... fitna is the way of life nowadays. You might as well commit sin consistently, you'll proabbly get more nhappiness that way. Not even joking. You will, because sinners are happier than people who pray1
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STOP NOW, WHAT YOUR DOING IS WRONG. iF YOU WANT HELP OR TO TALK PM ME, BUT YOU HAVE TO STOP THIS NOW ITS NOT FAIR ON OTHER MUSLIMS
 
Brother leave your problems with Allah inshAllah you will find a practicising wife. There are certain nafls you can read when finding a partner, I will find out for you and let you know. I was once married to a man who had education and wealth but I had no happines, so money and wordly education is not everything. For me a guy to have a good understanding of deen, at least read his 5 prayers and good character is enough forget the money and education as long as he respects. Brother I will pray for you.

Brother Tony I agree with you.
 
AnonymousGender said:
Do you know bro..... fitna is the way of life nowadays. You might as well commit sin consistently, you'll proabbly get more nhappiness that way. Not even joking. You will, because sinners are happier than people who pray1
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:sl:

No offense but are you trying to lead your fellow Muslim down the path of destruction? Assuming you're a Muslim and I hope that you yourself are not doing that InshaAllah..

And for the record, sinners are not happy. That happiness is temporary as compared to the life of righteousness...the only way you'd be going is down the drain, literally. It's when your heart has hardened and your eyes and hearts are sealed, that you may have no regret...that just means that shaytaan is getting the best of you...astaghfirullah.


I suggest you make sincere du'a to Allah and seek His mercy..because it's endless.


:w:
 
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celina said:
Brother leave your problems with Allah inshAllah you will find a practicising wife. There are certain nafls you can read when finding a partner, I will find out for you and let you know. I was once married to a man who had education and wealth but I had no happines, so money and wordly education is not everything. For me a guy to have a good understanding of deen, at least read his 5 prayers and good character is enough forget the money and education as long as he respects. Brother I will pray for you.

Brother Tony I agree with you.
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Could you please share those nafl namaaz details?? Jazakallah.
 
AnonymousGender said:
Could you please share those nafl namaaz details?? Jazakallah.
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They are nafl Hajet I read them after Isha namaaz, their is also a dua which is also called dua e hajet I read it once after namaaz. These are neccessairly for a good spouse but any dua you have in your heart. Hope this helps you, they have alhomdoliAllah helped me..praise to be Allah.
 
Lamees said:
asslamo 3alaykom wa ra7matullah
well, the main problem about marriage is that girls and boys don't search for the righteous persons..
girls are looking for a man who is wealthy wealthy, handsome and wealthy..
and men r lookin for a girl who is beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful and beautiful
(at least here in the arab world)..
Click to expand...

Wa alaykumus-Salam wa rahmatullah!

So true, ukhtee. And at least here (Bosnia) the problems seems to be a lot the same. Some people don't realize it's not wrong looking for a good looking "hubby" or "wifey" but this deen comes first, and it's better in dunya and akhirah as well.
 
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