Why Is Getting Married Made So Hard?WHY????

[touba]

Assalamou alaikoum ,

Brother convert you are still young find a job first and when you are ready there are millions muslim girls worldwide to get marry with and there are so many muslim marriage websites so dont worry and allah give you the best inshallah.

your sister in islam,

btissam

 

[convert]

Assalamou alaikoum ,

Brother convert you are still young find a job first and when you are ready there are millions muslim girls worldwide to get marry with and there are so many muslim marriage websites so dont worry and allah give you the best inshallah.

your sister in islam,

btissam

I have graduated university, have a very well-paying job, am probably 5-10 years older than most of you, and have plenty of money saved up to start a family. I'm not too keen on the online thing though.

 

[touba]

I have graduated university, have a very well-paying job, am probably 5-10 years older than most of you, and have plenty of money saved up to start a family. I'm not too keen on the online thing though.

Pm me and i can help you inshallah

 

[celina]

Aslam in response to brother convert.

I really pray that you find a good spouse, my mum has helped many people get married some whom just have approached her, she does it out of swaab and deen work. Maybe you have someone like this in the community. If you need help let me know.

 

[3isha]

good discussion,
Nowadays, it is must easier to do haraam (girl friend, boy friend, fitnah etc) than to do something halaal (getting married).:'(
Guys are expected to get married at about 26+, but i think its better if they marry at about 19, lol

May Allah save us from all kinds of fitnah and fulfil our desires in the best, pleasing way possible.

 

[celina]

good discussion,
Nowadays, it is must easier to do haraam (girl friend, boy friend, fitnah etc) than to do something halaal (getting married).:'(
Guys are expected to get married at about 26+, but i think its better if they marry at about 19, lol

May Allah save us from all kinds of fitnah and fulfil our desires in the best, pleasing way possible.

Totally agree, marriage stops you from a lot of haraam things, marriage is also half of a person's imaan, this just emphasises on the significance of marriage.

 

[convert]

Aslam in response to brother convert.

I really pray that you find a good spouse, my mum has helped many people get married some whom just have approached her, she does it out of swaab and deen work. Maybe you have someone like this in the community. If you need help let me know.

wa alaikum as-salaam

no, i know of no such person in my community. i tried asking around about 4-5 months ago but was told in no uncertain terms that nobody would marry their daughter off to a white convert here. kinda ticked me off actually.

 

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

^^SubhanAllah brother, that's horrible. People are so lame...:/

 

[convert]

meh, i'll live.

 

[celina]

wa alaikum as-salaam

no, i know of no such person in my community. i tried asking around about 4-5 months ago but was told in no uncertain terms that nobody would marry their daughter off to a white convert here. kinda ticked me off actually.

Brother that is so sad, if you live in the UK then I could help you because I might know some practising muslim sisters who are willing to marry someone like yourself.

 

[convert]

nope, not in the uk.

 

[celina]

nope, not in the uk.

Brother you are out of options really unless you move areas or that if a awarness campaign is carried out in the place where you live, where people are educated about issues like this . My sisters best friend is married to a covert they have had a happy marriage mashAllah. Allah will help you InshAllah.

 

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

You live in the US brother, I suppose? There are plenty of revert sisters here too...have you tried finding a revert sister? I know of some revert sisters myself.

 

[convert]

You live in the US brother, I suppose? There are plenty of revert sisters here too...have you tried finding a revert sister? I know of some revert sisters myself.

yeah. the problem here is that while i know some families in the community, i am really not a part of the community. its mostly just chitchat in the masjid and nothing really outside of that. basically, i dont know anybody who could introduce me to any sisters or anything. do you understand me?

i dont know too many muslims my age (mid to late 20s) as there is a large gap in attendance in my masjid. basically there are 2 or 3 teenagers, me, and uncles 40+ who go to the masjid. i know a couple guys from before i became muslim but they dont live in the same town as i do and i dont get to see them that often

 

[celina]

yeah. the problem here is that while i know some families in the community, i am really not a part of the community. its mostly just chitchat in the masjid and nothing really outside of that. basically, i dont know anybody who could introduce me to any sisters or anything. do you understand me?

i dont know too many muslims my age (mid to late 20s) as there is a large gap in attendance in my masjid. basically there are 2 or 3 teenagers, me, and uncles 40+ who go to the masjid. i know a couple guys from before i became muslim but they dont live in the same town as i do and i dont get to see them that often

Maybe you could give a speech at the local mosque, talk about the sunnah of marriage and then maybe ask the imaam if he could talk to someone Im sure the local imaam will help you.

 

[convert]

Maybe you could give a speech at the local mosque, talk about the sunnah of marriage and then maybe ask the imaam if he could talk to someone Im sure the local imaam will help you.

i kinda have too much pride to do something like that but thanks for the suggestion

 

[aadil77]

Bruv nothin to do with pride in talkin to the imam, plenty of people do it when looking for spouses, here in uk some masjids have imams running matrimonial services.

InshAllah you will find a good spouse, maybe a white convert sister?

btw where do you live?

 

[celina]

i kinda have too much pride to do something like that but thanks for the suggestion

Brother don't get offended but seems to me that you are set in your own ways, in this day and age no one is going to come and give their daughters hand to you with out you making a any attempts. Don't let your pride get in the way, I have noticed however that there are lot of muslim brothers who have a lot of pride but it really gets them no where.

My cousin is 24 and really wants to get married he wants a girl to propose to him, second she has to be extremely good looking, certain age, heigh, colour and a perfect personality I have told him to lower his standards and look for good character.This just shows that the more picky we are the more we got to worry,( this is not directed to you ) but at the same time searching for a life partner isnt easy. Leave it to Allah he will make a way for you.

 

[celina]

Bruv nothin to do with pride in talkin to the imam, plenty of people do it when looking for spouses, here in uk some masjids have imams running matrimonial services.

InshAllah you will find a good spouse, maybe a white convert sister?

btw where do you live?

Glad you said that brother!

 

[convert]

Bruv nothin to do with pride in talkin to the imam, plenty of people do it when looking for spouses, here in uk some masjids have imams running matrimonial services.

InshAllah you will find a good spouse, maybe a white convert sister?

btw where do you live?

its not about talking to the imam. like i said, i tried that route 4-5 months ago and was rebuffed. i do not know about those matrimonial services either. i mean, i want to get married but i also want to do in islamically and those things don't seem even the slightest but islamic. besides, my masjid doesnt do anything like that.

i live in the us

like i stated earlier, i do not know any convert sisters or any sisters really for that matter. i dont feel comfortable approaching someone in hijab on the street and saying "do you want to marry me?"

Brother don't get offended but seems to me that you are set in your own ways, in this day and age no one is going to come and give their daughters hand to you with out you making a any attempts. Don't let your pride get in the way, I have noticed however that there are lot of muslim brothers who have a lot of pride but it really gets them no where.

My cousin is 24 and really wants to get married he wants a girl to propose to him, second she has to be extremely good looking, certain age, heigh, colour and a perfect personality I have told him to lower his standards and look for good character.This just shows that the more picky we are the more we got to worry,( this is not directed to you ) but at the same time searching for a life partner isnt easy. Leave it to Allah he will make a way for you.

i dont take offense. i dont see how i am set in my ways though. i dont know anybody to "make an attempt" with and when i try i get told that white guys aren't good enough to marry their daughters.

the thing is, im not overly picky. i have no choice but to have tawakkul but i cant sit here and say that its not frustrating to the point of madness either.