Why is getting Married so Difficult....

[youngsister]

Jazakallah Khair for everones advise and input, I appreciate what everyone has said.

For me the issue is not finding a sister, when it comes to Somali practising brothers and sisters, the Ratio is 50 sisters to every 1 brother, there are way more practising sisters than brothers who are looking for practising brothers. I don't mean to show off, but being a young Somali brother in my 20's with a degree and a good job, finding a sister is fairley easy Alahmdulilah. BUT the issue comes with the families, they are soooooooooooooooooooo difficult, because you come from a different part or a different tribe, for this reason only they would not give you a chance. I know this issue is apparent in pritty much in every culture, but why, its just ridiculous, everyone always makes a big noise when people commit zina (which is ofcourse wrong and haram and we seek Allahs protection) but when someone wants to make it halal and be safe from all these evils which are around us, we get a big NO NO.

Again Jazakallah Khair, I ask Allah for his guidance.

Brother you have it easier than many trust me..like you said in the somali community there are more practising sisters than brothers..I am a somali sister and it will be a struggle for me to find a good brother simply because there arent many out there.

Why would you want to be married to a family who is into qabil? Trust me is important that you get on with the family if they are so ignorant and difficult insha Allah look for someone else. There are many sisters on marriage out there it shouldnt be that difficult to find one.

May Allah swt grant you a pious wife.

 

[AbuSalahudeen]

Brother you have it easier than many trust me..like you said in the somali community there are more practising sisters than brothers..I am a somali sister and it will be a struggle for me to find a good brother simply because there arent many out there.

Why would you want to be married to a family who is into qabil? Trust me is important that you get on with the family if they are so ignorant and difficult insha Allah look for someone else. There are many sisters on marriage out there it shouldnt be that difficult to find one.

May Allah swt grant you a pious wife.

Its always alot harder for sisters, so in that case sisters could get there male family members to approach brother she may like to get to know for the purposes of marriage ofcourse.

 

[Sahabiyaat]

and also the proportion of men to women.....its like were queing up to get married, and all men have to do is take their pick.:mmokay:

 

[AbuSalahudeen]

and also the proportion of men to women.....its like were queing up to get married, and all men have to do is take their pick.:mmokay:

There is nothing stopping sisters from asking Brothers, through male family members.

 

[nebula]

and also the proportion of men to women.....its like were queing up to get married, and all men have to do is take their pick.:mmokay:

lol, haha

I could imagine that, hmm i choose you! you are the chosen one!

or take a name out of the hat! the winner is ukthi number 3!

"oh my! i won!"

 

[Cabdullahi]

I would be like.......

'' I pick you and you, that one there......erm oh i got one more choice haven't i.....the sister on the left .....yeah you! dont act like its not you

thats four sisters in the bag!


on a serious not inshallah brother who started the thread you'll get your wifey just play your cards right.....

 

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

whats the auntie network?

Something you should seek refuge in Allaah from. :skeleton:

 

[noorseeker]

so whats the proportion of asian practising girls to guys.

i aint got a clue, i cant name one practising sister , i ask my friends, everyone,

where are you all

 

[Ar-RaYYan]

so whats the proportion of asian practising girls to guys.

i aint got a clue, i cant name one practising sister , i ask my friends, everyone,

where are you all

that is so weird! i know some brummy asian practising sisters! Maybe you are looking in the wrong place bro

 

[Musaafirah]

so whats the proportion of asian practising girls to guys.

i aint got a clue, i cant name one practising sister , i ask my friends, everyone,

where are you all

Dude, you live in Brummie land, don't tell me you've never come across a practicing sister! Unless of course you live in the wrong part of the city.
Seriously, more and more people (in my experience) are becoming practicing masha'allah. Thing is, you've got to see what your criteria and expectations are and make sure they're not unreasonably high.
To original poster, I hope Allah eases your path for you.

 

[AbuSalahudeen]

so whats the proportion of asian practising girls to guys.

i aint got a clue, i cant name one practising sister , i ask my friends, everyone,

where are you all

I'm from London, and I know there are many many practising sisters in Birmingham, have you ever been to Coventry Road lol its like Kabul mashallah. I love Coventry Road, if I was to leave London and move to another part of England I would for sure head to Coventry Road, Small Heath near Green Lane Masjid.

 

[Cabdullahi]

Where Im from its abit hard for a guy like me who has diffidence to spark the hunt,but im broke anyway.....so i just have to forget it....but mashallah the thread starter has a job and a complete degree, you've clearly cleared the big hurdles you just need to find the right person and you wont achieve that sitting at home scratching your head

 

[Ar-RaYYan]

I'm from London, and I know there are many many practising sisters in Birmingham, have you ever been to Coventry Road lol its like Kabul mashallah. I love Coventry Road, if I was to leave London and move to another part of England I would for sure head to Coventry Road, Small Heath near Green Lane Masjid.

yeah mashallah its true! you would never realise you are living in a non-muslim country and more and more reverts are moving there
I used to live there and do still attend Greenlane Masjid is a great mosque mashallah :thumbs_up

 

[AbuSalahudeen]

yeah mashallah its true! you would never realise you are living in a non-muslim country and more and more reverts are moving there
I used to live there and do still attend Greenlane Masjid is a great mosque mashallah :thumbs_up

Mashallah I love Green Lane Masjid, I attend the annual conference there every year, there is also a nice masjid near by run my Somalis.

 

[Ar-RaYYan]

Mashallah I love Green Lane Masjid, I attend the annual conference there every year, there is also a nice masjid near by run my Somalis.

yeah the annual conference usually attracts people all over the country and the whole masjid is packed mashallah! and there are loads of different ethnic groups mashallah thats what i love about -has more this 'ummah' feeling .
yeah the other one is called 'Ar-Rahma' and i think they also built another mosque near small heath

 

[AbuSalahudeen]

yeah the annual conference usually attracts people all over the country and the whole masjid is packed mashallah! and there are loads of different ethnic groups mashallah thats what i love about -has more this 'ummah' feeling .
yeah the other one is called 'Ar-Rahma' and i think they also built another mosque near small heath

Mashallah thats it Ar-Rahma or Ar-Rahman masjid, mashallah really liked that Masjid.

 

[yusuf18]

Mashallah thats it Ar-Rahma or Ar-Rahman masjid, mashallah really liked that Masjid.

we shud leave the kuffa land uk im makeing hijra inshallah and hope more brothers follow

 

[noorseeker]

so whats the proportion of asian practising girls to guys.

i aint got a clue, i cant name one practising sister , i ask my friends, everyone,

where are you all

 

[nebula]

^ bro does she have to be asian practicing? i mean bro were all 1 ummah we shouldn't worry about marrying people from our own race well i wouldn't mind marrying any sister tbh, alhumdulilah my parents wouldn't mind even tho their pakistani. :O

 

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

well....atleast shes choosing something good for you.......Im presented with one argument ; 'were related'. end of story.


ok brother imam, me and sis light of heaven come from a certain percentage (not sure how much, but its certainly a diminishing number as you say, because the people i speak to seem to find this practice ridiculous), of those pakistani unfortunates whose parents think like this.and it sucks.

the last thing on our minds is the bloody credit crunch!

Urgh. Sis it's not good if your mother practically said no to a lot of bros already. As soon as she hears the not higher than BA or has such and such a job, its full stop no. She doesnt consider any further. And quite honestly its ridiculous. For the love of Allah, if Allah wants He can take that away from you, then what will you do, complain? You'd better be ready then. So thats why I dont CARE. Oh and I really didnt claim theres more of my situation, but u cant say its barely there, coz this issue and the non issue r in equal amounts. I was trying to make the point that to say its hardly there is too much of a stretch. I know this brother who really doesnt have a good job but because he's concerned about doing everything halal. Well he's been rejected by majority of the Muslim families, it not being the girls fault. But anyway, case closed, on this topic.