women, wrk, education and driving.

[muslimsister1]

Hope your all in gud health by the grace of Almighty Allah SWT, its bin an intresting read and a good topic aswell, i myself am married and living with inlaws, no kids at the mo, Inshaallah soon.

Before i got married i worked at a call centre part time and the shifts were varied, once i knew i was gona get married i looked for a job where i could balance both work and home at the same time, at the mo i work part time 9-1, Alhumdolilah this is perfect as i can do my household duties aswell, may b a benfit is that i live with my inlaws so my mthr in law does thing aswell. Inshaallah once i have children i intend to quit work and look after them full time until they reach an age of 4 -5, this is wen Inshaallah they will be at school and madressa full time.

What im trying to say is yeh its fine for women to work and have an education and drive as nowadays to get anywer it would be with a car (well in the uk anywy) esp with the weather and the husband is at work BUT women HAVE to balance things and it should not be a problem, but i do feel that nowadays women do not want to sacrifice on things, its just wat they want and how they can have it, im not saying about all women and im sorry if i have offended anyone, its just from what i see.

:wa:

 

[Caller الداعي]

i think its not a blanket answer we can give. the type of education ,field of study etc need to be considered also if this comes in the way of Islamic and domestic duties not to mention intermingling of the sexes must also be considered. Similarly is the case of driving. It is important and safe in many parts of the world and cities however in many places it is very dangerous for women to drive alone.

 

[Amat Allah]

education is important for everyone to know how to read and write to know this deen and its teachings to read Qur`aan and Sunnah to please Allah...

reported by Abu Hurayrah in Sahih Muslim in a long hadeeth that the Prophet of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
"...and he who reads the path in search of knowledge, Allaah would make that path easy, leading to Paradise for him and those persons who assemble in the house among the houses of Allaah (mosques) and recite the Book of Allaah and they learn and teach the Qur'an (among themselves) there would descend upon them the tranquillity and mercy would cover them and the angels would surround them and Allaah makes a mention of them in the presence of those near Him..." Th book of Athiker and Duaa...

for work and driving I don`t see any harm in those two if they were necessary, as for me they are not cause I allready have my father and other men of my family who bring all my needs after Allah and take me wherever I want ; I am treated like a princess...Alhamdulillah...and this is by the blessings and mercy of Allah...All Praise Thanks and Glory be to the Most Merciful and Generous...

 

[Muhaba]

I was rather surprised to see the poll. if driving, working outside of the house, and getting an education are halal then it is a woman's right to have them and noone can stop her. if anyone thinks women shouldn't be allowed to do these then they would have to prove how these things are islamically not allowed.

 

[Zafran]

salaam

wow seems like all muslims agree on this one but ofcourse this is the modern female problem - Career Vs family life

peace

 

[Amat Allah]

if there is no need for work then family comes first and home would be the right place for woman,I meant if that woman can find what to feed and put in the mouths of her children then staying home is better for her than having a job and leaving her house and children with no care but if there is none to bring them their needs then nobody can blame her for striving to feed her self and children and she might need to drive at that situation...home is better for woman if there is no need to go out...

 

[S_87]

none of them things are haram but imo women should look at their priorities and if these things affect it too much (not driivng im talking more career and education-and by education i mean further education, because general education is a must for everyone) then yeh it can be a problem.

 

[S_87]

I was rather surprised to see the poll. if driving, working outside of the house, and getting an education are halal then it is a woman's right to have them and noone can stop her. if anyone thinks women shouldn't be allowed to do these then they would have to prove how these things are islamically not allowed.

actually she can be stopped-if a husband says no to these things then a woman must obey. And yes he has that right. of course he should have a reason and there are reasons why a man may not want this.

 

[~Raindrop~]

I think it depends.
Speaking from experience, I've seen a lot of girls who attended an islamic boardiing establishment for a number of years, and upon graduating they rush to attend mixed colleges, almost as though their education isn't 'complete'. SubhanAllah.
Nothing wrong with college in my opinion if the Deen isn't being compromised..but the second stage is that after studying (or not, depending on the person) they get married..and end up at home. What exactly is the point of wasting all those years in college if they know they'll embrace motherhood to the fullest and not benefit from it?
I have nothing against higher education if it's being used to help the Ummah-we need female Muslim doctors, nurses, teachers etc etc- and if it doesn't compromise a person's moral values, modesty and Deen. In that case, it's commendble and should be actively encouraged.

 

[purple]

if there is no need for work then family comes first and home would be the right place for woman,I meant if that woman can find what to feed and put in the mouths of her children then staying home is better for her than having a job and leaving her house and children with no care but if there is none to bring them their needs then nobody can blame her for striving to feed her self and children and she might need to drive at that situation...home is better for woman if there is no need to go out...

slam
do you honestly stay at home for the rest of your life? i mean you dont at all visit a shops, hospital, schools, banks? no? I think a environment without some women working whether they are single mothers or unmarried or married would be hell for you. Be realistic at least, i admit that you need some women to work in order for you to benefit the world you live in. most sisters would suffer if women were to stop working. i unlike you dont like to stuck indoors at all.
Staying indoors would oppress me and has oppressed when I was married. Not all sisters are like you, happy and content to stay at home. I didn’t see any benefits staying at home when I was married. It was hell.

 

[purple]

actually she can be stopped-if a husband says no to these things then a woman must obey. And yes he has that right. of course he should have a reason and there are reasons why a man may not want this.

This exactly why non Muslim thinks Islam is oppressive. I don’t understand why marriage can’t be a partnership where both partners come to a decision. Not one dictating to other. and what reasons would a man stop his wife from becoming a doctor or working as one for example? His ego...

Thanks for the replies. Interesting perspectives.

 

[purple]

I think it depends.
Speaking from experience, I've seen a lot of girls who attended an islamic boardiing establishment for a number of years, and upon graduating they rush to attend mixed colleges, almost as though their education isn't 'complete'. SubhanAllah.
Nothing wrong with college in my opinion if the Deen isn't being compromised..but the second stage is that after studying (or not, depending on the person) they get married..and end up at home. What exactly is the point of wasting all those years in college if they know they'll embrace motherhood to the fullest and not benefit from it?
I have nothing against higher education if it's being used to help the Ummah-we need female Muslim doctors, nurses, teachers etc etc- and if it doesn't compromise a person's moral values, modesty and Deen. In that case, it's commendble and should be actively encouraged.

I see your point; however the more educated the mother, the more educated the child will be. There is a lot more to gain from higher education that the subject itself. Thanks for reply. I do definitely understand where u r comin from.

 

[purple]

Women should if they want to. If not it shouldn't be forced upon them unless there's no other option such as in times of hardship. I hate the mentality that some women have who scoff at other women who choose to be at home with the family.

As far as women being encouraged to stay at home and do domestic work... that is the ideal, but individual circumstances need to be considered.

I think mental health plays a part too. Consider a woman who, perhaps, yet doesn't have many family responsibilities. Being stuck in the house all day is downright depressing when you're pretty much alone, such as in the case of reverts who don't have a supportive family around them, whose mothers, sisters, fathers and brothers are absent or broken up and don't really see each other (and are maybe non-muslim so not quite so understanding). Maybe don't even live together. The home is a fairly empty place for such a woman leaving her open to subtle attacks that could make her depressed.

In latitudes closer to the poles s.a.d. syndrome is also a problem. There are three main remedies for this: a special type of light (that doesn't always help), keeping occupied at all times, and getting outside a LOT. So in such latitudes getting work outside the home may even be a therapy to some women.

Then there are some women who just don't have the personality type to remain at home, where being indoors all the time would just be too stressful. As I hate when working women scoff at home-working women, I also can't stand home-working women who scold women for having a job and getting outside. Some women are just very active and need to be out and about, even out working, to keep their mind sharp. Many such women have just as much usefulness as working men do or as home-working women, such as those who pursue a career that can turn out to be helpful to society. If a women has a personality and a mind for that kind of thing, such as as one person used as an example, being a GP or a doctor, or physical activities such as being a wilderness/mountain rescuer (some women really do need to be kept physically active and get outside) it shouldn't go to waste. It would be a terrible shame.

That's my honest feelings and opinions on the matter.

Salm

U summed up how I feel on this topic. Im the same as u as I dnt like sisters who looked down on those who work and those who work that look down upon housewives. I think people need to accept that women just like men are all different. Not all women get married and have children and stay at home and either are all women want to work.

 

[جوري]

salm I hve overall impression 4om my community dat dey rather hve der women stay at home. I also sense dis 4om other forums but i wnt 2 knw wat brothers fink and feel abut dis. Also wat sisters feel and fink abut dis? Brothers n Sisters? Do u fink women shld get education and drive? And also 2 be able 2 wrk? (I wnt 2 do a poll bt not sure if i cn. Can admin do da polls for me plz? sorry abut my poor english)

I don't have much to contribute to this topic however, I am rather amused or should say impressed by your sudden grammatical aptitude on this thread

http://www.islamicboard.com/health-science/134301742-dementia.html

 

[purple]

I don't have much to contribute to this topic however, I am rather amused or should say impressed by your sudden grammatical aptitude on this thread

I don’t write like dat bcos of my poor understanding of English. I write like lyk dat bcos I am or was simply lazy. As you can see my few last post addressing the replies b4 u, I have written in proper English. Excuse my laziness and sorry dat it bothered u so much.

 

[Asiyah3]

if there is no need for work then family comes first and home would be the right place for woman,I meant if that woman can find what to feed and put in the mouths of her children then staying home is better for her than having a job and leaving her house and children with no care but if there is none to bring them their needs then nobody can blame her for striving to feed her self and children and she might need to drive at that situation...home is better for woman if there is no need to go out...

I disagree. A woman has a life too. But, if it's affecting the rights of the husband or children then yes, family comes first. However, if the children are over seven, then I don't see any reason for the mother to be there 24/7 especially if the younger kids have older bros and sisters there.

Is it considered a need if she prefers to work and not sit home doing the same daily things forever?

 

[S_87]

This exactly why non Muslim thinks Islam is oppressive. I don’t understand why marriage can’t be a partnership where both partners come to a decision. Not one dictating to other. and what reasons would a man stop his wife from becoming a doctor or working as one for example? His ego...

Thanks for the replies. Interesting perspectives.

He might prefer that she looks after the kids at home instead of others raising them, he may think the environment she is in is not what he prefers (not dr specific but any job) . I didnt say working is forbidden, some husbands just prefer their wives not working. My husband doesnt want me to work and i have no problem with that at all, its not a dictatorship, it is something we discussed and i accepted. so if a husband demands his wife works and brings home a salary to support her half of the bills, thats not oppression or dictatorship?

 

[S_87]

I see your point; however the more educated the mother, the more educated the child will be. There is a lot more to gain from higher education that the subject itself. Thanks for reply. I do definitely understand where u r comin from.

not necessarily. What is education? To have a degree?
education doesnt mean wisdom

 

[جوري]

Excuse my laziness and sorry dat it bothered u so much.

Oh I am not bothered at all please do carry on..

I seem to have misunderstood you when you wrote:

sorry abut my poor english)

glad you clarified that for me with this:

I don’t write like dat bcos of my poor understanding of English

 

[Asiyah3]

I think it depends.
Speaking from experience, I've seen a lot of girls who attended an islamic boardiing establishment for a number of years, and upon graduating they rush to attend mixed colleges, almost as though their education isn't 'complete'. SubhanAllah.
Nothing wrong with college in my opinion if the Deen isn't being compromised..but the second stage is that after studying (or not, depending on the person) they get married..and end up at home. What exactly is the point of wasting all those years in college if they know they'll embrace motherhood to the fullest and not benefit from it?
I have nothing against higher education if it's being used to help the Ummah-we need female Muslim doctors, nurses, teachers etc etc- and if it doesn't compromise a person's moral values, modesty and Deen. In that case, it's commendble and should be actively encouraged.

This would mean that the people who choose college, should work and not let their skills and knowledge go to waste.

Many people here have mentioned working with where there is a need to. It works vice versa. What is the need to stay home if there's no need to (she stays with the children until they're old enough, the working hours are suitable and the work place is halal)?

Only my personal opinion. Let's say there's a female teacher. Would it be better for her to spend the day watching soap operas and hanging on the net or teach children and benefit from her knowledge?