Zina and repentance

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Assalaamu alaikum

Shukran jazeelan to all the brothers and sisters who replied to my original posting, it was wonderful to receive the support and advice. With your help I sought guidance and advice from alquran and found many ayat to help me understand the meaning of sabr, or 'patience' in English. A website with helpful guidance and links here:
http://islam.about.com/od/prayer/a/patience.htm

Then I sought to understand the real meaning of thaubah, or 'repentance' in English. I read Surah 9 over and over.

I offered my wife understanding, patience and tried to help her understand what she had done, respectfully and with genuine care. Her answer? 'Everybody does it'.

I cannot help her any more, she must find her own way. She left, of her own accord, about a month ago.

I found Surah 55 Arrahman to be helpful in my struggles to understand what has happened.

'Which then, of the favours of your Lord will you deny?

Thank you again, brothers and sisters.
 
Asalaamalaykum bro, im sorry to hear that she left... you even forgave her and she left... akhi may Allah give you paitence bro, this might be your test from Allah swt, keep your trust in Allah bro, He is the best of planners. As Allah swt said in the Quran that the believers will be tested just as those who were tested before us.
 
:sl: I am really so brother, it is very hard being on your own, i know this is not what you want to hear but maybe it is for the best. When i seperated from my husband i wrote down positive and negative things about him. I found more negative rather than positive. This helped me come to terms and face reality and helped me realise that i was holding onto something which was not good for me.................

Maybe you could take time and do the same, at the end of the day i feel she will regret her decision, and come back to you. InshaAllah if that is what you want..............

At the moment brother please take this time and use it as a reflection of your marraige and relationship. After what she has put you through is she really worth putting yourself through trauma.... (forgive me as i do not know her), and continue your life as you would...........

Another way to overcome the pain, hurt and rejection is to constantly remind yourself that maybe Allah has removed something from you which is not good for you.......... Ameen I wish you the Best...............:):w:
 
Her answer? 'Everybody does it'.

Subahan'Allah i would find this hard to digest if this was said to me. In our (western) society unfortunately Adultery and Fornication has become the norm, if you don't practice it and remain chaste you are seen as the abnormal, Wallah ul Musta'an
 
:sl: I am so sorry i am not defending what this lady has done having been a victim myself, maybe she feels guilty and couldn't face what she had done so decided to walk.........................who knows????:D:w:
 
Sorry to hear about your situation brother. At the end of the day its your decision.

But I do believe once the trust has gone there is not much left of a relationship. You can forgive someone once and give them the benefit of the doubt that they will change but as they have betrayed our trust before, sometimes we can't help wondering 'What are they upto now?' and 'What if they do it again'.

Put your faith in Allah, maybe this was a test for you or Allah has something better in store for you. :)
 

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