Zina has become widespread amongst Muslims but why?!

[Who Am I?]

The problem with any government or any country is that they are all founded and ruled by men, who are by nature corrupt and sinful. It doesn't matter what kind of system you have, it will still be ruled by men, and therein lies the problem.

 

[SFatima]

It's a multi-faceted issue. On one hand. there aren't any institutions in our communities that enable young men and women to get married, meaning there is nothing that helps facilitate marriage - and if there are, then there are other problems in the way by means of family, culture, peer pressure etc that result in delaying it. On the other hand, the tarbiyyah isn't properly given to the young men and women as they are growing older and as a result they're far from the religion. Both of these sides come together and the result are problems such as zina and more. It's easy to tell the kids to make dua', go talk to an imam etc, but the reality is that the kids aren't that into the religion in the first place and even if they are, they're weak in this regard, and the imam is the uncle from back home who is unapproachable along with the family/parents who set up cultural demands and high standards that the young man/woman must meet before they can get married. Meanwhile, day and night they're surrounded by and are living in a hyper sexualized environment. It's a multi-faceted issue and there are a lot of variables and factors that are playing into it so we shouldn't over simplify it. I don't have the solution but I do think that we need to come up with good ones soon for the next generation..

What you said is what i agree with, but do we really do anything than just point out this issue? I mean I am hearing the same ordeal regarding this matter for a long time now, and I hardly see any change in the attitudes of the young generation, does the youth even have any platform to look for potential spouses where they are guided, counselled for not only focussing on the right choices but also groomed for making the right decisions regarding the matter, 'cause living in a closed cultural society , hardly gives you the ample room you need to ask a blunt question to a scholar, and most scholars have no time to sit online. Anyhow, there aren't many scholars available as well, it isn't a field people aspire to be in, it does not guarantee a lofty lifestyle : p


(p.s since you're the administrator, i wanted to know why is there discrimination regarding eligibility to access the sister's section to hit uptill 300 posts and for brother's section just 200? it usually takes lesser time to spot a female then it does otherwise, they usually stay away from political discussions : p actually, not all the people have the liberty to wait around so much to post to that high figure before they are actually granted access, i find it a bit limiting, please do think over it , thanks)

 

[SFatima]

The problem with any government or any country is that they are all founded and ruled by men, who are by nature corrupt and sinful. It doesn't matter what kind of system you have, it will still be ruled by men, and therein lies the problem.

i think the kind of system does matter, definitely. If it is based on absolute truth and justice, the chances to be corrupt are not only minimal but extremely risky ones, considering the fact that there is a system which empowered by the people, of the people and for the people, and by the govt for the govt.

Once, when Hazrat Ali R.A (the 4th caliph of Islam) was the Khalifa of his times, his iron coat of war got stolen, after sometime he saw it with some Jewish person who was trying to disassemble it, he was petrified and asked him why he was doing it? the man replied it is mine i can do what ever i wish to do with it. ALi R.A informed him that it is his and he had made it himself and enquired of how the man got it? he refused to accept it. They both went to the Qazi ( the Jurist, Judge) and Hazrat R.A presented his case, the Judge asked for witnesses, unfortunately for him, he could not gather any witness except his own son (or sons) because the people who had seen with his coat had already passed away.

The Judge declined to accept the witness of the Khalifa saying " Ali ibne talib, you have taught me yourself not to accept as a case's witness; the closest of your kin i.e the sons or relatives. I am afraid you have no witnesses to pursue your case further, this iron coat belongs to the other man."

The jew who was a new settler of that place was baffled at the system of justice so powerful that It denied its own head the power to pursue his case even though not only was he the Caliph, but also one of the most well respected companions of the Prophet muhammad saww and could have requested the judge to decide in his favor, and yet he kept quiet and accepted the verdict. He was so impressed with the caliph that he claimed the shahdah right there and returned the iron coat to Ali telling him that he had bought it from some man ( who may have stolen it) and did not wish to keep it anymore. Hazrat Ali insisted on buying it from him back, instead of just taking it, and he paid him the price that the man had bought it for. ( So hazrat ALi committed to justice, and Allah swt returned him his beloved Iron coat, who could've guessed that the man who was not willing to let it go would just hand it over in a short while? thats How Allah swt works, SubhanAllah)

My point, the system of Justice is possible, but not without inco-orporating the word of God in it, if it was working in the same world so many years ago, it can work again, the biggest question is, who wants to stop such a fair system from being adopted?

p.s( the story may not be as similar to the original narration, but as close to it as i recall, may Allah swt forgive any errors on my part)

 

[Ummshareef]

After reading so many stories of our Muslims, not only in this forum but many other Islamic sites, it has become wide spread amongst Muslims practicing or not, make zina.
But what are the reasons for that?


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Wa 'alaykum us-salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Surely the main reason is that those that they either forget about the punishments that await those that make zina or do not fear them. They are probably aware of the prescribed punishments (hudud) that apply to the unmarried and married person for zina, but feel that they will not be applied in the country where they live, so there is no great deterrent effect. Secondly, they forget that Allah subhanahu wa ta'alaa sees all and that whatever they may get away with in this Dunya, without repenting, they will be held to account for on the Day of Judgement. If only they would spend a little more time studying then they would understand the true consequences of their actions, insha'allah. They could start with the following:

Imaam Muhammad Adh-Dhahabee rahimahullaah
From 'The Major Sins' - Al-Kabaa'ir

Allaah subhanahu wa ta'ala says: "And come not near to the unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits (a great sin)), and an evil way (that leads one to Hell unless Allaah forgives him)." [Al-Qur'aan 17:32]

"The woman and the man guilty of illegal sexual intercourse, flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a punishment prescribed by Allaah, if you believe in Allaah and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment." [Al-Qur'aan 24:2]

The Jurists say that the last verse quoted above is the punishment for fornicators who have never been married. If a person was ever married before committing the crime of Zina (illegal Sexual Intercourse), he or she is to be punished by stoning to death. This is established by the practise of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam.

In a tradition transmitted by Bukhaaree, on the authority of Samurah ibn Jundab radiallaahu 'anhu, concerning a dream of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam in which the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam was accompanied by Jibreel alayhis salaam and Meekaa'eel, the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "We went on and arrived near a pit which was like an oven, out of which we could hear cries. We glanced into it and saw naked men and women, who cried out when the flames reached them from below. I asked, "Who are these, O Jibreel?" He replied: "Males and females who have committed fornication." [vol.9, p.138, no.171]

In explaining the meaning of the verse concerning Hell, "It has seven gates, for each of those gates is a (special) class (of sinners) assigned." [Al-Qur'aan 15:44]; 'Ataa says: "The most severe of these gates in terms of heat, pain, sorrow, and stinking air is the gate for the doers of fornication, who did it (even) after knowing the awfulness of it."

 

[laila_99]

asalaam alaikum
i have a question regarding this
if a person has commiteed zinaa and knows that what they have done is bad but asks for forgiveness for what has been done
would it be better for her and the brother she committed zinaa with to marry each other? or would it be better if she let him go and marry someone else ..?
sorrry for the confusion if there has been any and jazak allah in advance for reaading and replying Inshallah*

 

[tigerkhan]

recently i see a book and it was stated that they should not marry each other. however previously i heard that if someone found in this act, they should be married. maybe diffrence of opinion in hanafi and shafi, i hope someone with knowledge clear it.

 

[Salahudeen]

asalaam alaikum
i have a question regarding this
if a person has commiteed zinaa and knows that what they have done is bad but asks for forgiveness for what has been done
would it be better for her and the brother she committed zinaa with to marry each other? or would it be better if she let him go and marry someone else ..?
sorrry for the confusion if there has been any and jazak allah in advance for reaading and replying Inshallah*

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/96460


http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/97987

 

[ardianto]

Music leads to Zina? No. You can't blame music, video games, TV, or movies for sin. If you do commit a sin, it's your own fault. I mean, think about it. You walk into a store or eat in a restaurant, does the music playing in there make you want to have sex or kill someone?

Listen to music in restaurant will not make you want to have sex. But sing a song or play the music in front of women can make them going crazy to you, and they will do everything for you.

 

[ardianto]

asalaam alaikum
i have a question regarding this
if a person has commiteed zinaa and knows that what they have done is bad but asks for forgiveness for what has been done
would it be better for her and the brother she committed zinaa with to marry each other? or would it be better if she let him go and marry someone else ..?
sorrry for the confusion if there has been any and jazak allah in advance for reaading and replying Inshallah*

Wa' alaikumsalam, sister.

It's better if they marry each other after they have repented. But if that brother wants to leave that sister and marry someone else ?. This is a proof if that brother is not a good person. So, it's depend on that sister, does she wants to marry him or let him go and wait a better man who want to marry her.

My advice : bring her confusion back to Allah. Do salah Istikhara, ask a guidance from Allah.

 

[Mr.President]

It's a multi-faceted issue. On one hand. there aren't any institutions in our communities that enable young men and women to get married, meaning there is nothing that helps facilitate marriage - and if there are, then there are other problems in the way by means of family, culture, peer pressure etc that result in delaying it. On the other hand, the tarbiyyah isn't properly given to the young men and women as they are growing older and as a result they're far from the religion. Both of these sides come together and the result are problems such as zina and more. It's easy to tell the kids to make dua', go talk to an imam etc, but the reality is that the kids aren't that into the religion in the first place and even if they are, they're weak in this regard, and the imam is the uncle from back home who is unapproachable along with the family/parents who set up cultural demands and high standards that the young man/woman must meet before they can get married. Meanwhile, day and night they're surrounded by and are living in a hyper sexualized environment. It's a multi-faceted issue and there are a lot of variables and factors that are playing into it so we shouldn't over simplify it. I don't have the solution but I do think that we need to come up with good ones soon for the next generation..

I 100% agree with ur comment ! totally agree

 

[Muhaba]

It is because ppl aren't getting married. Some have made marr4iage difficult with high mahrs and other demands. Other won't let their sons and daughters get married at an early age because they feel that the children should first work and earn lotsssssssssssss of money. Other youth themselves don't want to get married because they want to get rich first and put off marriage until late. Still even when ppl do get married, if some woman gets divord\ced or widowed she will rarely get married because men no longer marry more than one wife and even if they want to the traditions have changed so noone accepts that. And in the instances when they do remarry, then they on;ly focus on one wife while neglecting the other whether that is the first wife or the second that gets neglected.
In generaly ppl are following western lifestyle in all this even if they don';t know it and that is nt working, since in the west ppl have made zina a normal lifestyle. But that isn't the case in the muslim world. So while it is normal for ppl in west to have relations and live together without marriage, it isn't right in the islamic world. So how can the two treat marriage in the same way? The west finds it easy to put off marriage because they will still be able to have relationships without marriage and even have children. But in the islamic world it's not possible to have relations or children without marriage so how can ppl put off marriage?

In the west while some ppl (kafirs) don't get married until late thirties, they start having sexual relations even before they are 20. But in the muslim world when the ppl cop[y the same and put off marriage until late 20s and even late 30s it means they have to not only put off marriage but also sex altogether and even companionship with the opposite sex. That is a difficult thing because the human nature is such that ppl want relationships with the opposite sex. Even if they put off sex, they still want friendship. So in the islamic world the matter becomes worse than the western world, because now you are oppressing the body and mind.

So the end result is none other than zina.

Some ppl are good muslimes enough to abstain but not all.

 

[laila_99]

Wa' alaikumsalam, sister.

It's better if they marry each other after they have repented. But if that brother wants to leave that sister and marry someone else ?. This is a proof if that brother is not a good person. So, it's depend on that sister, does she wants to marry him or let him go and wait a better man who want to marry her.

My advice : bring her confusion back to Allah. Do salah Istikhara, ask a guidance from Allah.

Jazakallah for the reply brother.
the brother wants to marry the sister as soon as possible but it is her parents that are not allowing the matter to go forward. i was told that her parents are ignoring the situation and are not dealing with it. this is why the sister is stuck and does not know what to do. the brother however, as well as his parents, wants the nikah to be done asap. do you, or anyone else, have any advice that i can give to the sister?

Jazakallah

 

[ardianto]

Jazakallah for the reply brother.
the brother wants to marry the sister as soon as possible but it is her parents that are not allowing the matter to go forward. i was told that her parents are ignoring the situation and are not dealing with it. this is why the sister is stuck and does not know what to do. the brother however, as well as his parents, wants the nikah to be done asap. do you, or anyone else, have any advice that i can give to the sister?

Jazakallah

I am sorry, I misunderstood the situation in my previous post.

Okay, in this situation you should tell that sister to keep in patience and make du'a. And tell that brother (and his family) to make dialogue again with that sister parents. And if necessary, request a help from local Imam to make dialogue with that sister parents. If that sister parents refuse him, try to make dialogue again. The sister parents refuse him again ?, try to make dialogue again, again, again, again, and again.

Tell that brother, don't ever give up and don't ever surrender.

 

[laila_99]

I am sorry, I misunderstood the situation in my previous post.

Okay, in this situation you should tell that sister to keep in patience and make du'a. And tell that brother (and his family) to make dialogue again with that sister parents. And if necessary, request a help from local Imam to make dialogue with that sister parents. If that sister parents refuse him, try to make dialogue again. The sister parents refuse him again ?, try to make dialogue again, again, again, again, and again.

Tell that brother, don't ever give up and don't ever surrender.

thank you so much for your help brother ..the sisters parents have known about the situation for 3months now and no dialogue has been made from the brothers parents to the sisters parents ..but Inshallh* they will soon ..the brother is starting to surrender and may surrender altogether some time soon as the matter is becoming too much for him because he does not wish to live in an haraam state (only way to make it okay is to marry) he has also told the sister that the hanafi madhab allows a marriage without the consent of the guardian ..

i am sorry for the overload of information. its just that this sister is very confused and does not know which way to turn or what to do.

 

[Mr.President]

v dnt hav any choice bt to be a bit careful cuz zina is really normal and parents won't let us marry work work work ............................. wt eva u do work !!! SHOW US tHE MONEY !!! thts all they want !:raging::raging::raging::raging::raging::raging:

at the end of the day nothing bt a frustrated up and down life !!!



ANOTHER MATTER !
One of my brother he like a girl and they informed their family then the girl and boy both of them are almost good they dont miss prayers and so on
bt the boys family didn't allow this marriage cuz the girl is not pretty or beautiful

 

[ardianto]

v dnt hav any choice bt to be a bit careful cuz zina is really normal and parents won't let us marry work work work ............................. wt eva u do work !!! SHOW US tHE MONEY !!! thts all they want !:raging::raging::raging::raging::raging::raging:

at the end of the day nothing bt a frustrated up and down life !!!

Calm down, bro, calm down. Why you think parents won't let their kids to marry ?. It's fair if parents order their sons to have incomes before marry because their sons must fulfill their wives needs after they married. And it's fair if parents ask men who would marry their daughters about how would they fulfill their daughters needs in marriage. There is no parents who will gives their daughter to a man who would makes their daughter suffer.

Out of rule in Hanafi madhab that allow women to marry without the consent of the guardians, actually "akad nikah" is not an agreement between the groom and the bride but an agreement between the groom and the guardian of the bride. This is a process when the Wali gives the woman under his guardian to another man who take over all responsibility on that woman.

So, if you have found a woman and you are ready to marry her, you must tell her parents you want to marry her and ready to take over all responsibility on her. Make a presentation about how would you fulfill their daughter needs. Make them sure although your income in this time is small, you will always try to build the better future for their daughter. Don't ever afraid to talk and discuss with her parents.

ANOTHER MATTER !
One of my brother he like a girl and they informed their family then the girl and boy both of them are almost good they dont miss prayers and so on
bt the boys family didn't allow this marriage cuz the girl is not pretty or beautiful

I am sure, the person who would marry that girl is only your brother, not all persons in his family.

So, if he has ready to marry, just marry that girl.


Okay, to prevent this post out of topic, I will say, zina can be happen if a man not married but want to feel a 'touch of a woman'.

 

[Salahudeen]

I think also, it's un-natural for a man after he's reached puberty to go through life without a partner, but of course now days there's no chance at all of a boy getting married at/after puberty so he falls into zina with other girls his age.

 

[Who Am I?]

I think also, it's un-natural for a man after he's reached puberty to go through life without a partner, but of course now days there's no chance at all of a boy getting married at/after puberty so he falls into zina with other girls his age.

Well I guess that makes me an un-natural freak of nature, then... :skeleton:

 

[SFatima]

lol, just wait till you find out how many muslim brothers and sisters aren't married/or ever have had relationships at 30 and plus ...not uncommon. the scenario is wayyyy too common...

 

[Cabdullahi]

Zina = no constraints


Marriage = plenty of constraints applied