Refinding my faith

BadOlPuttyTat

BadOlPuttyTat

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Went through a spiritual crisis some days ago. I want to let everybody know I am going to try and re-evaluate my faith. I am going to read ALL the Sanatana Dharmic text in full and read the ENTIRE QURAN! I seriously do NOT believe in hadiths and a lot of their teachings so i am avoiding them entirely. I am always going to be tempted by other beliefs and theological doctrines f I don't read them and know them and truly make p my mind. It is pointless to call you self a Muslim yet not care or believe in its theology or doctrine and have the desire of something outside of it. You will never be a happy true Muslim and will never sincerely believe in it.

Do I still believe in 1 god.............yes

Do i still believe in the Abrahamic god...................yes

Will I still make Salat and ask Allah/God for guidance...........................yes

Do I think Muhammad(pbuh) is a messenger of the one and true god...............obviously yes or else I wouldn't show him the respect he deserves.

Do I have issues adapting to Islam................yes^o)

Will I try to live my life as a whole with Islamic values.......................yes or else I wouldn't have become a Muslim to begin with.

Do I believe in idolatry?..............NO! And if you call me one I will beat you with a dead fish just for laughs :statisfie (I can't say it more clearly )

I apologize to any of you for wasting your time teaching me Islam. I do not wish to waste anyone's time. But for all of those who helped me please understand that I appreciated you a lot. If I was a 12 foot tall polar bear with 7 foot long arms I would bear hug you all for your kindness.

Please understand I am NOT denouncing Islam, but I am backing away from it. I cannot be a real Muslim if I do not believe it in my heart. The Shahadah means nothing if you don't believe it(although technically I do). Please do not label me as a moderate Muslim:cry: because I don't want that title nor would I enjoy it. As of now I am rather depressed so you may not see me a whole lot later. Ill push on through it though
 
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As a born Muslim, even i have doubts from time to time. But that is good in some ways. Once i read about a hadith of our beloved Prophet pbuh, i do not know the full hadith or its autheticity but it roughly says that having doubts isnt always bad because it shows that you care for your religion. I think that can be a good learning point. That said,

May Allah guide you to the truth and make it easy on you.
 
We had an old thread once with a poll on whether people had doubts or not - and many people said that they did.
Not only had they doubts, but they felt that those doubts actually helped them grow in faith.

I think you are being very honest, with yourself and with others ... and that has got to be a good starting point!

If I find the old thread, I will bump it up. You might find the comments in it helpful.

Take care on your journey and enjoy the ride!
 
May Allah guide you always and forever Ameeen

When I knew my way to Allah and then I understood the meaning of Islam; The Mercy of Allah and took Allah's book as my best friend reading it, reciting its verses and memo them knowing their meanings and the great mercy and wisdom of Allah behind each one; I knew real happiness and the more I know about Islam the more I feel its beauty...laa ilaha illa Allah...

Anyway, no hard feelings in shaa Allah, I really wish ya happiness and I am about to cry... actually I am crying now cause I know not how to help ya. it is hard when you see someone so dear and preicous in need and you just can't help; feeling helpless and useless...

I only have my Duaa for ya O my respected brother , May Allah guide ya and show ya the way to Him clearly always and keep ya firm on His path Ameeeeeen

never give up hope and trust in The One Who Created you ever; The Only true One Lord Who deserves to Be worshipped...:'(

take care of your precious self always in shaa Allah...

leaving ya under Allah's sight , care and protection...

Humbly; your sister:

Amat Allah.
 
Sorry, but forgot to tell ya and remind ya that Satan won't give up trying to decieve us , planting doubts in our hearts and driving us to fall in sins till we leave this mortal worthless Dunya so , becareful...

fee amanilah Akhi...
 
Amat Allah said:
never give up hope and trust in The One Who Created you ever; The Only true One Lord Who deserves to Be worshipped...
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I haven't given up hope on that.:statisfie . I still believe int he Abrahamic god and I still believe in Allah/Jehova/The on true god of Abraham, Moses and Jesus and Muhammad(pbut). I just don't think the strict, questionable doctrine of Islam or even the Bible is the "perfect" way. I disagree with certain issues yes, but as a whole im 90% Muslim if that counts for anything. Certain snippets just dont agree with me and very strict personal believes i refuse to give up. I wish you well sister
may god give you blessing in your life
 
Brother Freek, it distresses me you have such doubts and being one who is not all that much more 'older' than you in Islam, I think you are being too analytical. The Qur'an and the hadith of the prophet (salallahu alayhi wasalam) is the way Allah wishes us to obey him. Allah presented the Qur'an as the correct way to submit to Him and obey Him. Its not for us to question His instructions. To say the Qur'an isn't the right way to worship Allah isn't a good thing to say.

It is difficult to follow and yes it is strict in some ways and tiresome at times but this life is set to test us. It is not easy for me neither and I certainly don't have your focus and organizational skills to set a rigid schedule to learn salat in Arabic right from the get go.

For example, being a woman there are additional 'rules' I must follow. Wearing head coverings, including around the neck. I have no problem doing this for prayer and when I go to the Masjid. The problem I am having is wearing it outside when I am doing everyday things like picking up groceries. The unseasonally hot weather here isn't helping. Its hard enough to keep the rest of my body covered up to maintain my modesty. I am prone to heat stroke so having head coverings in addition to full body coverage is very uncomfortable for me. That and I am very self conscious when it comes to standing out in any way and given the fact my town has no other Muslim living within it, I would stand out. A problem I should be able to overcome but is proving harder than I expected.

I am managing to cover my hair at night when I go for a walk but I don't walk every night.

It sounds like excuses as to obey Allah's will should be the only thing on my mind. It bugs me quite a bit when I go out hair uncovered, enough so that I only go out now when I have to. Its tough being the only Sister in the area and the closest ones are in the city, which is a bit of a drive. One thing I intend to do this weekend when I go to the Masjid for the monthly potluck is talk with my Sisters and see if I can arrange to go shopping with one or two of them, Inshallah. I won't feel as...exposed if I am in a group. I think I just need this to return to my old mentality of 'I don't care what others think, regarding how I look' which is what i had when I was a much bigger sister and wore lose clothing to hide rolls.

In summery Brother, stick with it. Your heart will become Muslim the longer you struggle against the doubts Shaytan whispers into your ear. We all have our struggles and the greatest 'jihad' is the struggle within our own hearts.
 
dqsunday said:
Brother Freek, it distresses me you have such doubts and being one who is not all that much more 'older' than you in Islam, I think you are being too analytical. The Qur'an and the hadith of the prophet (salallahu alayhi wasalam) is the way Allah wishes us to obey him. Allah presented the Qur'an as the correct way to submit to Him and obey Him. Its not for us to question His instructions. To say the Qur'an isn't the right way to worship Allah isn't a good thing to say.

It is difficult to follow and yes it is strict in some ways and tiresome at times but this life is set to test us. It is not easy for me neither and I certainly don't have your focus and organizational skills to set a rigid schedule to learn salat in Arabic right from the get go.

For example, being a woman there are additional 'rules' I must follow. Wearing head coverings, including around the neck. I have no problem doing this for prayer and when I go to the Masjid. The problem I am having is wearing it outside when I am doing everyday things like picking up groceries. The unseasonally hot weather here isn't helping. Its hard enough to keep the rest of my body covered up to maintain my modesty. I am prone to heat stroke so having head coverings in addition to full body coverage is very uncomfortable for me. That and I am very self conscious when it comes to standing out in any way and given the fact my town has no other Muslim living within it, I would stand out. A problem I should be able to overcome but is proving harder than I expected.

I am managing to cover my hair at night when I go for a walk but I don't walk every night.

It sounds like excuses as to obey Allah's will should be the only thing on my mind. It bugs me quite a bit when I go out hair uncovered, enough so that I only go out now when I have to. Its tough being the only Sister in the area and the closest ones are in the city, which is a bit of a drive. One thing I intend to do this weekend when I go to the Masjid for the monthly potluck is talk with my Sisters and see if I can arrange to go shopping with one or two of them, Inshallah. I won't feel as...exposed if I am in a group. I think I just need this to return to my old mentality of 'I don't care what others think, regarding how I look' which is what i had when I was a much bigger sister and wore lose clothing to hide rolls.

In summery Brother, stick with it. Your heart will become Muslim the longer you struggle against the doubts Shaytan whispers into your ear. We all have our struggles and the greatest 'jihad' is the struggle within our own hearts.
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Oh I don't have an issue with the Quran my issue is with hadiths mostly. I find it discouraging to ever hate Islam and I truly wish not to. So please dont push me before I resent something that is possibly good for me :hmm:
 
Sorry Brother FreakOffALeash, I never meant to push and forgive me if my words above came out as pushy.

The overall Hadiths...so much to learn, I am taking those one step at a time. The two of us are very fresh in Islam, and it can take years before we learn all we should know. Well maybe it will take me years, you probably a few more months Insha allah :)
 
dqsunday said:
Sorry Brother FreakOffALeash, I never meant to push and forgive me if my words above came out as pushy.

The overall Hadiths...so much to learn, I am taking those one step at a time. The two of us are very fresh in Islam, and it can take years before we learn all we should know. Well maybe it will take me years, you probably a few more months Insha allah :)
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I read 350 words a minute :statisfie , and I can read 500 mentally and memorize them. I am going back through the Quran and Upanishads as of now.
 
Take your time in learning bro!

If you are having issues with the hadith, I suggest you don't read the hadiths on your own for now.

The problem will learning on our own through the net or even books is that we are at the mercy of our own interpretation of someone else's translation. Neither the Quran nor Hadiths are text that should be taken lightly, and if not approached with proper prerequisites one can end up finding themselves even more lost than before.

PS: If you intend on reading Quran again I suggest reading this one which has plenty of additional info, and as always, before you begin to do anything worth doing, say "Bismillah"/In the name of God. So that you will do it right InshaAllah/God Willing :statisfie
 
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Hulk said:
Take your time in learning bro!

If you are having issues with the hadith, I suggest you don't read the hadiths on your own for now.

The problem will learning on our own through the net or even books is that we are at the mercy of our own interpretation of someone else's translation. Neither the Quran nor Hadiths are text that should be taken lightly, and if not approached with proper prerequisites one can end up finding themselves even more lost than before.

PS: If you intend on reading Quran again I suggest reading this one which has plenty of additional info, and as always, before you begin to do anything worth doing, say "Bismillah"/In the name of God. So that you will do it right InshaAllah/God Willing :statisfie
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it is ok bro, I have quit Islam as of now. I have simply found a more better way to live my life. I require happiness and peace, Islam offers me frustration and confusion. I do not intend to insult your beliefs but trust me when I say I know what I am capable of and being a Muslim is not one of them. I am sorry but I have no more interest nor daith in Islamic teachings imsad . Please understand it is not you or anyone else fault.
 
I am going to read ALL the Sanatana Dharmic text in full and read the ENTIRE QURAN!
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Allah is the One Who guides. So do what you said, but also pray sincerely to Allah to show you the Right Path.
If I be honest, some hadiths have caused me to raise an eyebrow too, but then some are fabricated, or weak. But that would never cause me to leave Islam because Islam was revealed through the Quran, not hadith. And we are to reject anything which contradicts the Quran.
If you don't mind me asking, is it all the hadith you don't agree with, or just some. And can you give examples of some you don't agree with. I hope you don't mind. I'm really curious as I've never really come across this kind of issue before.
 
Snowflake said:


Allah is the One Who guides. So do what you said, but also pray sincerely to Allah to show you the Right Path.
If I be honest, some hadiths have caused me to raise an eyebrow too, but then some are fabricated, or weak. But that would never cause me to leave Islam because Islam was revealed through the Quran, not hadith. And we are to reject anything which contradicts the Quran.
If you don't mind me asking, is it all the hadith you don't agree with, or just some. And can you give examples of some you don't agree with. I hope you don't mind. I'm really curious as I've never really come across this kind of issue before.
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It is all. I do not support or advocate things outside of a religious doctrine. My extended family is Baptist and I can see how corrupt it makes Christianity because of "traditions". I find anything that exist only to subliminally support or aid in a main teachings is just corruption. As far as I am concerned any to all hadiths or teachings outside of any religions are not to be followed. I now relate to the Quranist movement now
 
:salamext: brother,

All I am going to say to you is: think of what you thought of before converting, and you will be sure of Islaam again.
 
Haafizah said:
:salamext: brother,

All I am going to say to you is: think of what you thought of before converting, and you will be sure of Islaam again.
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If only that was the issue :cry: . But Islam is becoming more and more useless to me now. And i am very sorry for letting you down since you became a big influence. I am very sorry
 
FreakOffALeash said:
If only that was the issue . But Islam is becoming more and more useless to me now. And i am very sorry for letting you down since you became a big influence. I am very sorry
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Hey hey hey bro! It's ok.... calm down.... All guidance is from Allaah.... If he made me an influence in you accepting Islaam, then he will make someone else an influence in you STAYING in Islaam....

Belive it or not, born Muslims go through with this issue a lot as well as reverts - but the main thing is that we have to stay focused.... We have to think of all the things we like about Islaam, the things that make sense to us, the things that made our Imaan grow, and everything else will just fall into place. :statisfie

I think I know what is going on - you were really excited about praying, you took your Shahadah, and now the Shaytaan wants to take all that away from you because he is scared that you might become a really good Muslim. :raging:

Brother you are still young but look at how Allaah guided you at such a young age!

Let me share a story of Imaan that might help you:

A sister's Imaan had been fluctuating ever since she became "practising". She prayed since she was 10 years old, but she only started to really look into Islaam deeper after her 18th birthday (co-incidence since you are 18 now? :hiding:)

When she became practising and started to gain more knowledge - she started to fall in love with someone (lets not go into that now, whole other story) but that person did not love her back. She dug even deeper in Islaam and found the words of the Prophet Muhammad :saws: (hadiths) to be her comfort. She controlled herself and got even more close to Allaah.

But shaytaan was not happy. He put even more hurdles in her way, again and again, in different shapes and forms. With men, her parents, her brothers and sisters, etc. She even stopped praying for nearly 2 years and nearly lost her Imaan, a BORN MUSLIM, and this sister, believe me, would NEVER miss a prayer. Only recently she started praying again (about 3-4 months back?) and now her faith is stronger than ever, and she trusts Allaah more than ever.

Brother shaytaan will try and put SO MANY different hurdles in your way, but it is up to you whether you want to fight through them or admit defeat to Shaytaan.

I hope the story helped inshaAllaah. Make sure you stay in good company of Muslims, as that matters a great deal.
 
Haafizah said:


Hey hey hey bro! It's ok.... calm down.... All guidance is from Allaah.... If he made me an influence in you accepting Islaam, then he will make someone else an influence in you STAYING in Islaam....

Belive it or not, born Muslims go through with this issue a lot as well as reverts - but the main thing is that we have to stay focused.... We have to think of all the things we like about Islaam, the things that make sense to us, the things that made our Imaan grow, and everything else will just fall into place. :statisfie

I think I know what is going on - you were really excited about praying, you took your Shahadah, and now the Shaytaan wants to take all that away from you because he is scared that you might become a really good Muslim. :raging:

Brother you are still young but look at how Allaah guided you at such a young age!

Let me share a story of Imaan that might help you:

A sister's Imaan had been fluctuating ever since she became "practising". She prayed since she was 10 years old, but she only started to really look into Islaam deeper after her 18th birthday (co-incidence since you are 18 now? :hiding:)

When she became practising and started to gain more knowledge - she started to fall in love with someone (lets not go into that now, whole other story) but that person did not love her back. She dug even deeper in Islaam and found the words of the Prophet Muhammad :saws: (hadiths) to be her comfort. She controlled herself and got even more close to Allaah.

But shaytaan was not happy. He put even more hurdles in her way, again and again, in different shapes and forms. With men, her parents, her brothers and sisters, etc. She even stopped praying for nearly 2 years and nearly lost her Imaan, a BORN MUSLIM, and this sister, believe me, would NEVER miss a prayer. Only recently she started praying again (about 3-4 months back?) and now her faith is stronger than ever, and she trusts Allaah more than ever.

Brother shaytaan will try and put SO MANY different hurdles in your way, but it is up to you whether you want to fight through them or admit defeat to Shaytaan.

I hope the story helped inshaAllaah. Make sure you stay in good company of Muslims, as that matters a great deal.
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Inspiring but at the same time not enough :statisfie . If Inever quench the forbidden I will never learn to stray from its becking call.
 

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