Reasonable and Practical Mahr?

Asalamu alaikum

The marriage with the greatest blessings is that with the lesser financial burden
 
albani said:
Asalamu alaikum

The marriage with the greatest blessings is that with the lesser financial burden
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I am so amazed here in the West that people will spend thousands of dollars on a wedding and the trimmings when that money would be best spent buying a home and setting up that home.
 
ragdollcat1982 said:
I am so amazed here in the West that people will spend thousands of dollars on a wedding and the trimmings when that money would be best spent buying a home and setting up that home.
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not only in the west, weddings are also super extravagent or even more extravent in muslim countries too. The mahr itself can be £10 000 (and thats quite cheap!!)
 
amani said:
not only in the west, weddings are also super extravagent or even more extravent in muslim countries too. The mahr itself can be £10 000 (and thats quite cheap!!)
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That to me is just outragoues!! As long as I have a decent roof over my head with a few amenties, clothing and decent food I am happy.:)
 
ragdollcat1982 said:
That to me is just outragoues!! As long as I have a decent roof over my head with a few amenties, clothing and decent food I am happy.:)
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yup it is. the mahr is supposed to be a gift, a nice gesture from man to wife but these days it is so much more about that and i have seen engagements break up because not enough gold/suits etc were agreed upon.
its also quite silly to demand a high amount that will put the man to debt since its the woman that would also suffer if her husband is in debt paying off the mahr price, but for some reason these things dont register :?
 
amani said:
yup it is. the mahr is supposed to be a gift, a nice gesture from man to wife but these days it is so much more about that and i have seen engagements break up because not enough gold/suits etc were agreed upon.
its also quite silly to demand a high amount that will put the man to debt since its the woman that would also suffer if her husband is in debt paying off the mahr price, but for some reason these things dont register :?
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People are so materialistic and it is sad. Dont get me wrong nice gifts and money are nice, but when we die we cant take it with us. I would rather have a husband who would put that money into a home and furnishing it.
 
I think the females are at fault! ......if a man could have a wife live with him in a small shed he would do that! but because of the nature of women we are forced to get big houses,big car,big money and big everything...but some women are different and are not concerned about money
 
ragdollcat1982 said:
People are so materialistic and it is sad. Dont get me wrong nice gifts and money are nice, but when we die we cant take it with us. I would rather have a husband who would put that money into a home and furnishing it.
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Yup, indeed money doesnt buy happiness :statisfie

I think the females are at fault! ......if a man could have a wife live with him in a small shed he would do that! but because of the nature of women we are forced to get big houses,big car,big money and big everything...but some women are different and are not concerned about money
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youre soooooooooo sexist :enough!:sometimes its actually the fathers that demand high mahrs you know...and also men dont like fancy big cars????

There is nothing wrong with liking nice things so long as we are not extravagent and do not fall into debt and get carried away in our aim to have nice things. If Allah has blessed us with money, then Alhumdulillah, we shouldnt also be stingy
 
amani said:
Yup, indeed money doesnt buy happiness :statisfie


youre soooooooooo sexist :enough!:sometimes its actually the fathers that demand high mahrs you know...and also men dont like fancy big cars????

There is nothing wrong with liking nice things so long as we are not extravagent and do not fall into debt and get carried away in our aim to have nice things. If Allah has blessed us with money, then Alhumdulillah, we shouldnt also be stingy
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men like big fancy cars because they know it will attract the ladies and i am not sexist,i said this before and i will say it again...i will work my socks of to get the required mahr in the future and if i cant i would get rid of a kidney for who for the opposite sex, for the wife inshallah
 
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ragdollcat1982 said:
I am so amazed here in the West that people will spend thousands of dollars on a wedding and the trimmings when that money would be best spent buying a home and setting up that home.
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Sadly enough, in islamic society these exist too but this what happens sadly when people stop follow religion as it should be followed as they become more materialistic they are less to lesser degree humbled,

But ist must be sad that there are plenty good muslimah will never ask somthign which is excessive.

and a small reminder to the sisters too...

Verily, He loves not those who are extravagant}, [Soorah al-An'aam, Aayah 141].

and

A Pious Poor Pious Man is a Better Marriage Suitor than a Rich Man Who is Not Pious
 
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:wasalamex
Najm said:
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Uhkti what you going to do with the sword....:exhausted
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swords are a good weapon *and no, not to kill my husband*...

I wouldnt mind doing what she did you know. Although the pushy parents might insist on looking at the woman first :enough!:
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who looks at the girl first? you or them? :$
 
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Allahu Alam
what ever he is capable of giving.
iam willing to accept. But i think i would like it to be for him to take me to hajj or at least umrah.
 
In my specific itte cuture theres normally land and lots of gold and a house given in her name, fuly paid for, but then I was only given something like a thousand quid, which was like giving away for free oh and some gold , worth about 10 thousand quid..

I think that mehr should be as much as the man can afford without going broke... Like a bit of security.. in anyway, I dont have much of an idea in the western culture where the man normally doesnt own anything until hes.. well very od hehehe normally back home people normally have alreayd bought a house and have inherited some land... hence they put it in the brides name...

I guess for a man with medium savings.. like 5-10 thousand quid, he should pay around 2-5 thousand quid in mehr, but then I may be wrong...
 
HopeFul said:
In my specific itte cuture theres normally land and lots of gold and a house given in her name, fuly paid for, but then I was only given something like a thousand quid, which was like giving away for free oh and some gold , worth about 10 thousand quid..

I think that mehr should be as much as the man can afford without going broke... Like a bit of security.. in anyway, I dont have much of an idea in the western culture where the man normally doesnt own anything until hes.. well very od hehehe normally back home people normally have alreayd bought a house and have inherited some land... hence they put it in the brides name...

I guess for a man with medium savings.. like 5-10 thousand quid, he should pay around 2-5 thousand quid in mehr, but then I may be wrong...
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Yeah I won't be able to buy a house until I'm like 50 unless I want to take a mortgage... which means I won't be able to buy a house until I'm like 50. I have a house but its in an area with basically 0 muslims and not much development around it so I don't reckon any wife of mine would want to live there.

I still say anything more than a month's salary is being unreasonable on the brother.
 
Everyone should give mahr according to what they can AFFORD. So in case someone doesnt have any savings, they should give a part of their salary for mahr, a big part of it perhaps but def nothing byond it..

And those are just my views..

In our culture, we always give and recieve mahr from what the man already has, nothing is accepted if it is a loan por not with hm at that particular time...
 
aadil77 said:
is that a gl55? lol looks like a box on wheels

nah you'd much rather have one of these :D

best of british:

http://www.landrover.co.uk/gb/en/ve...t/photo-gallery-and-media/exterior-photos.htm
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I assure you it is the [FONT=arial,sans-serif][SIZE=-1]Brabus GV12 [/SIZE][/FONT]that I desire, I actually love the boxy look, I know (it is an acquired taste) I can appreciate that but it is a proper off roader to pull off some of my acrobatics, now if I can only acquire it in my possession.. my current car looks like it with a wheel on the back, the only discernible difference of course, is that mine dies on me every 5 weeks
and I have visited enough car shops to actually fix it myself by now.

:w:
 
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Musaafirah said:
In response to Skye..
I wouldn't mind this as mehr. :D

Though at the mo I've just got a little corsa, which I love. Miss my little polo though...
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it would be a shame to have a car like this and end up stuck in rush hour traffic.. I don't foresee myself twirling up to my Italian belvedere any time soon... I usually chuckle to myself when I see one of these buffoons from 0-60m in a nanosecond only to be stuck for 47 mins on a 10 min drive.. I always hear their engine roaring up for something tremendous but then it all fizzles.. plus the view of them is even more hilarious in a 4x4-- you just want to scream.. do you need a booster seat for that .....
 
Umm ul-Shaheed said:
:wasalamex

swords are a good weapon *and no, not to kill my husband*...


who looks at the girl first? you or them? :$
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AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

A weapon ?!:blind:

I surely aint looking at the girl first.

So yh, if i was that guy who got chosen to marry the girl for one saudi riyal, the pushy parents would have insisted the girl is beautiful above all, oh and that she can cook and clean and maybe even had a degree but to be a full time housewife. :enough!:

FiAmaaniAllah
 

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