cynic...

[Ansariyah]

^contiues



Ibn Asaker narrated: "Job was a man having much wealth of all kinds; beats, slaves, sheep, vast lands of Haran and many children. All those favors were taken from him and he was physically afflicted as well. Never a single organ was sound except his heart and tongue, with both of which he glorified Allah, the Almighty all the time day and night. His disease lasted for a long time until his visitors felt disgusted with him. His friends kept away from him and people abstained from visiting him. No one felt sympathy for him except his wife. She took good care of him, knowing his former charity and pity for her."

Therefore Iblis became desperate. He consulted his helpers, but they could not advise him. They asked : "How is it that your cleverness cannot work against Job, yet you succeeded in misleading Adam the father of man, out of Paradise?"

Iblis went to Job's wife in the form of a man. "Where is your husband?" he asked her.

She pointed to an almost lifeless form crumbled on the bed and said: "There he is, suspended between life and death."

Iblis reminded her of the days, when Job had good health, wealth and children. Suddenly, the painful memory of years of hardship overcame her, and she burst into tears. She said to Job: "How long are you going to bear this torture from our Lord? Are we to remain without wealth, children or friends forever? Why don't you call upon Allah to remove this suffering?"

Job sighed, and in a soft voice replied : "Iblis must have whispered to you and made you dissatisfied. Tell me how long did I enjoy good health and riches?"

She replied: "80 years."

Then Job replied: "How long am I suffering like this?"

She said: "7 years."

Job then told her: "In that case I am ashamed to call on my Lord to remove the hardship, for I have not suffered longer than the years of good health and plenty. It seems your faith has weakened and you are dissatisfied with the fate of Allah. If I ever regain health, I swear I will punish you with a hundred strokes! From this day onward, I forbid myself to eat or drink anything by your hand. Leave me alone and let my Lord do with me as He pleases."

Crying bitterly and with a heavy heart, she had no choice but to leave him and seek shelter elsewhere. In this helpless sate, Job turned to Allah, not to complain but to seek His mercy: "Verily! distress has seized me and You are the Most Merciful of all those who show mercy." so We answered his call, and we removed the distress that was on him, and We restored his family to him (that he had lost), and the like thereof along with them as a mercy from Ourselves and a Reminder for all who worship Us." (21:83-84)

Almighty Allah also instructed: "Remember Our slave Job, when he invoked His Lord saying: "Verily! Satan has touched me with distress (by losing my health) and torment (by losing my wealth)!" Allah said to him: "Strike the ground with your foot: This is a spring of water to wash in and cool and a refreshing drink." And We gave him back his family, and along with them the like thereof as a Mercy from Us, and a reminder for those who understand. (38:41-43)

Job obeyed and almost immediately his good health was restored. Meanwhile, his faithful wife could not longer bear to be parted from her husband and returned to him to beg his forgiveness, desiring to serve him. On entering her house, she was amazed at the sudden change: Job was again healthy! She embraced him and thanked Allah for His mercy.

Job was not worried, for he had taken an oath to punish her with a hundred strokes if he had regained health but he had no desire to hurt her. He knew if he did not fulfill the oath, he would be guilty of breaking a promise to Allah. Therefore in His wisdom and mercy, Allah came to the assistance of His faithful servant and advised him: "take in your hand a bundle of thin grass and strike therewith your wife, and break not your oath." Truly! We found him patient. How excellent a slave! Verily, he was ever oft returning in repentance to Us!" (38:44)

Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said: "While Job was naked, taking a bath, a swarm of gold locusts fell on him, and he started collecting them in his garment. His Lord called him: "O Job! Have I not made you too rich to need what you see?" He said: "Yes, My Lord! But I cannot shun Your Blessings." (Al Bukhari)

 

[sevgi]

increase my deen..gotchya guys.thanks! trust me im trying.its bloody hard when ur existence keeps telling you to give up and hate God for all he has given you.

but i love him. he is all i have.i cant explain to anyone what Allah is for me. he is my bestfriend.i know he is always there..its just that sometimes im not there...

wen i was 16 i left home coz i knew i had the ability to teach others..i'd grown faster...i moved into a girls dorm...a religious one. what we do is live everyday in rememberence on Allah and do communal prayer and stuff and we study the quran etc etc...and at the same time, we do studnet mentoring and youth work for young teens etc...teach them their deen.

i feel valid when i see that my lil girls that i look after have someone they can open upto.i wish i had a mentor.

bro ibnabdulhakim...youre a smart cookie.
i know that marriage is my only way out.like, my dad wont stop...but its nt gonna affect me coz i will have a new authority in my life...one which wont abuse me, and will support me inshallah.

but no.1: i dnt wanna marry in order to get outta this mess. i believe in love.
no.2: no one wants to marry me. im the one who helps everyone else hook up. im like evryones best frend, sister...i always get "noone can ever replace sevgi...but she is like my older sister"
no. 3: im scared. the only man i have ever known hasnt been a good example.

 

[Ansariyah]

When u finish reading the story of Prophet Ayub (as) u'll understand why I posted it.

 

[Fazl Ahmad]

but i love him. he is all i have.i cant explain to anyone what Allah is for me. he is my bestfriend.i know he is always there..its just that sometimes im not there...

Very beautiful and true.

 

[sevgi]

Sevgi ....... Sevgi....what means Sevgi?? It means Love they give you the name Love but dont love you, I wonder Why ..
how about visiting your mom more often and try to make a band with her ,
and I know Its Hard , I realy Know ....
But No Matter What happens A Mom Will have ALWAYS a Feeling For her Child , No matter What Happens , you just have that awaken that feeling more
,Try To explain your problems With Her Alone and cry with her or something ..start all over again with her cause I think She is the key to you happiness.
And Be Patient....
you are In My Prayers....

Allaha Güven , Cünkü Unutma Allah Kullarini hic Umutsuz Birakmaz

Allah razi olsun kardesim...haklisin..Allahtan umut kesilmez...

but believe me...i have become the opposite of my mum. Allah has taught me backwards...

wen i see her on the street i run up to her and block her eyes from behind and call out "guess who?!"...i hug her, kiss her, pinch her cheeks......

i do my duty as as a daughter. my dad left a year ago...he called me and said "i cant handle you anymore..i cant handle ur family...look after them."

ive been the mum, dad, bro, sis..everything...i pay all the bills etc..everything....i try to fill my mothers hole..and now my dads...

and yeh...sevgi does mean love...its Allahs gift to me...i love with all ive got...and hence i give all ive got...and hence i hurt more than i should when people hurt me...

 

[TrueStranger]

Woow sevgi, you are right the little things are what matters the most.

Parents could have such a huge impact on our lives. What is wrong with these parents? Subhan’Allah

Sevgi, I think your parents had their own past suffering which is affecting the way they treat their own children. I get the feeling that they too weren’t treated every well by their parents or family members. Something has indeed gone wrong somewhere along the way. Love and compassion is not in their vocabulary. When I see parents that are so rude, uncaring, and malicious to their own children, I can’t help but think that their childhood could have been filled with hate, anger, and mistreatment as well.

Parents treat their children the way they were treated by their parents most of the time, not all the time, but most of the time. At times it becomes a cycle. Maybe your parents are hiding their own ordeal, which is leading them to behave in this manner and restraining them from being the caring generous loving parents they could be. Maybe their past is hunting them as well.

I know one thing and that is our own past or present predicaments blind us from clearly seeing or noticing the troubles which others face or faced. Your parents are blinded by something else, whatever it may be, that is deeply blinding them from noticing or caring about your wellbeing.

They seem to be absolutely oblivious to the pain you’re experiencing. Whatever you do, do not become a cynic for you might just become like them. Try learning from your parents, and make sure that you do everything you can not to become a parent who will treat their children the wrong way or a parent that is blinded by their childhood sufferings and won’t be able to notice the troubles of their children. And most of the time we do this things unintentionally, on a subconscious level. Sadly, we are not even aware of the fact that we are hurting other people, because we think that the pain we go through is greater and more damaging than theirs.

That is the reason why the person who will get the least punishment in hell will think that he is getting the worse treatment. You will not notice your parents’ troubles, but will notice their faults, and in the same manner they will not notice your troubles but will notice your faults.

Everyone has their own nightmares, including myself, but I don’t store them in my heart or mind, least they corrupt my thinking process or my emotional process. But I store them in my past, where they belong.

Never mix the past with your present, and do not think that your present state will be your future state. The past, present, and future are three different stages in life, learn something new from each state and whatever you do, keep them separate. Otherwise your life will be one unpleasant stage that might even stop you from your God Given Right to be Happy.

I am deeply sorry if I am not of much help.

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

^ your mum loves you


if you dont know that then Allaah help you

 

[sevgi]

^ your mum loves you


if you dont know that then Allaah help you

i try to convince myself that she does everyday...inshallah she does..for both mine and her sake.

but its hard to believe.

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

^ if u were me n i was u, u wudnt find it hard to believe but maybe i would


now that i've confused you quite a bit i think its ok to head out

 

[YusufNoor]

increase my deen..gotchya guys.thanks! trust me im trying.its bloody hard when ur existence keeps telling you to give up and hate God for all he has given you.

but i love him. he is all i have.i cant explain to anyone what Allah is for me. he is my bestfriend.i know he is always there..its just that sometimes im not there...

wen i was 16 i left home coz i knew i had the ability to teach others..i'd grown faster...i moved into a girls dorm...a religious one. what we do is live everyday in rememberence on Allah and do communal prayer and stuff and we study the quran etc etc...and at the same time, we do studnet mentoring and youth work for young teens etc...teach them their deen.

i feel valid when i see that my lil girls that i look after have someone they can open upto.i wish i had a mentor.

bro ibnabdulhakim...youre a smart cookie.
i know that marriage is my only way out.like, my dad wont stop...but its nt gonna affect me coz i will have a new authority in my life...one which wont abuse me, and will support me inshallah.

but no.1: i dnt wanna marry in order to get outta this mess. i believe in love.
no.2: no one wants to marry me. im the one who helps everyone else hook up. im like evryones best frend, sister...i always get "noone can ever replace sevgi...but she is like my older sister"
no. 3: im scared. the only man i have ever known hasnt been a good example.

Subhanallah Sister,

Allah must love you tremendously! He doesn't test us more than we can handle and yet you get soo much! He must think very, very highly of you! i imagine that He has quite a high place ready for you in Jannah!

btw, i like to listen to Mufti Ismail Menk when i need an Iman booster, check out his Tafseer:

http://www.muftimenk.co.za/Downloads.html

you know, sometimes we don't like what is good for us and sometimes what we like isn't good for us. Allah knows best!

 

[Ansariyah]

Sis u went thru alot, but u have to be nice to people. n have a positive outlook bout life. n learn to forgive others. Clean ur heart out from any bad feelings and learn to live happily. We are muslims and thus shud know that Allah assures us in the quran that Fa Inna Ma Al-Usri Yusra "Verily, with every difficulty, there is relief".(94.6). ur time of ease will come inshaAllah.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

wow sis. ur post made me cry :-[

sometimes i wish i could complain about the trivial things which girls my age complain about.

do u think its wise to wanna be in others situtation i mean i totally get where your comin from and all, but i personally advice to avoid that thinking as best as possible, because it may cause a 'hole' in you...and thats not such a bad thing it its self, but when/if that 'hole' cant be filled, itll just end up leaving real hurt and longing ...get me?

i left home aged 16. i had to.i worked so hard not to hate people. to smile every morning. to tell myself there were worse situations.but my dad continued to exert his authority in ways which please his evil disposition. i try to understand him. i try to love him. i try to love everyone.and i do...i guess.

hmmm…sis, it sounds like our blaming yourself for the dislike you have of your dad. And that’s understandable and all, but at the same time you need to understand you cant blame yourself for feeling negative towards someone who has put you throught trash,really. I know hes your dad, and im not telling you to go against him or to hate him, or anything, but im just saying you need to realise that it sint your fault and that you shouldny don’t bash yourself ver something that someone else has done to you. Someone once told me that “you teach people how to treat you.” And I think her words are spot on! You kow after ones been mistreadted, whether from a family member or a close frind , Its totally normal to feel some neative feelings towards that person. You cant expect them to be used and abused and still act as if nones hurt them. So yeah, don’t blame yourself for reacting to how someone has mistreated you

when i come home to visit my mum and siblings...i just want to feel accepted. but all i get is a blank stare from her...and a laboured "when are you going back?"

I would advice you to try to ignore those stares as much as possible. Act as if she dosnst even give them. Just smile right back in return.
And I think its good how you still try to show affection towards her. I think that’s a good step, because if you were to turn around and act hostile, she would return the hostility, and your relationship with her would be just as worse as it is. But I think by you showing that affection, wallahu a’lam, she may wake up one day and feel guilt that shes mistreated you because you have soften her heart with your affection. Get me?

[qthese are little things...which are just on my mind now. if i told you the serious stuff..i'd have to kill u all.its just my dad. his abuse is potent.and i hate everyone coz of him...coz he hates me with such passion.i try to convince myself that im not disgusting...but i am.i know i am.i know that all that he says is true.but i try so hard to be a good person. i never wanted to be the way i am. i wish i was smart and hard working and all.and i think i am...but he doesnt. he denies me of any good attribute i just mite have....and he says he knows me better than i know myself...perhaps he is right.
Why do you believe someone who has hurt you so much. If that were me, that person would've broken my trust, and im not sure if i could care less what they tell me.

no.2: no one wants to marry me. im the one who helps everyone else hook up. im like evryones best frend, sister...i always get "noone can ever replace sevgi...but she is like my older sister"

hmmm....ya sure about that? people admire a strong person with sabr...im not too sure why a brother would be excluded from that

i try to convince myself that she does everyday...inshallah she does..for both mine and her sake.but its hard to believe

i dno if this helps, but i roughly explained ur situation to my mum, and asked her that if she thinks that a mother who puts her daughter through... (what uve been through)because.....(for the reasons you mentioned) does this mean that the mother hates her kid? and she said definatley no! she loves her kid. no doubt about it. parents could never stop loving their kids, no matter what.then she mentioned reasons why parents may show a lack of love and affection toward thier child, but no never could they hate their child.
i dno i figured that since shes a mum, she would know what mothers would be thinking

and also for your parents to put you through all of that, and for you to turn around and still try to be a good daughter, is something you should hold ur head up head over! seriously, most people would walk the other way!
i think that's more admirable than someone who treats their parents well because they (the parents) shower them him/her with love and affection. in the case of the former the individual strives to please allah...he/she knows His wrath, but hopes for His mercy...hence the striving to keep the family ties, even though his/her parents mistreat. But in the case of the latter, the individual treats his parents well because his/her relationship with them is based on his parents' kind treatment of him/her. i hope htat makes sense lol..



may allah grant you tranquility

 

[sevgi]

but im tired.

 

[BNDGR]

I am new to this board, but came accross your post.
I am a new Muslim so I don't by any means have answers, but I can only offer that life itself is a constant trial for everyone. It is hard not to turn cynical.
I myself can only tell you that since very recently becoming a Muslim, I have had such inner peace and even when everything is going wrong, I can pray and I will instantly feel strength that Allah is with me always and things will get better.
I pray that Allah helps you through everything your going thru.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

but im tired.

its ok to be tired sis ((Hugs))...it ok to be frustrated, angry, depressed...hey, were all human. were all vulnerable to test and trials...were just vulnerbale full stop! ya tied? cool, take a nap. naps are good, naps refresh. relax...let it go...leave it to Allah, for no matter how many times you strive, no matter what hardships you go through, its all in Allahs hands. let HIM handle it for you. trust me, its so much more easier and relaxing. sit back, and let the world come to you, dont panic.
you know, im going through a tough time and the more im tested with this thing, the more i become fatigued...emotionally...physically...mentally, the hek, probs even spiritually... and the more i become fatigued, the more i realize that the easiest thing to do is just to hand my affairs to Allah. because the more i panic, the more i fight real hard to keep things in my control, it fatigues me even more, and makes me even more depressed, because it ISNT in MY control to even begin with, so how will it continue to be in my control. its in Allahs. so slowly slowly im learning (and inshallah ill get there) that there is nothing more relaxing and soothing for the soul than handing your affairs to allah

your're in my duas, inshallah.
ramadan mubarak

 

[------]

:salamext:

Raa... sis u been thru so much... SubhaanAllaah... All I can advise you is to make dua sis...I'm no good at advice... Am here if u need to talk... xXx

 

[Abdul Fattah]

Selam aleykum Sevgi

but no.1: i dnt wanna marry in order to get outta this mess. i believe in love.

I believe in love to, I think every Muslim should believe in it. However I don't believe in love at first sight. Love at first sigh is just illogical, it's a love of a dream image build around a person and based on sexual attraction, not a genuine love for the actual person. The only love I believe in, is that of two pious people who come together in marriage With the intention of seeking Allah (swt) pleasure. And they work on that relationship according to the sunnah of the prophet; and they get to know and appreciate one another; and they find true love because of the work they invested in one another. (have you ever read the little prince?)

no.2: no one wants to marry me. im the one who helps everyone else hook up. im like evryones best frend, sister...i always get "noone can ever replace sevgi...but she is like my older sister"

Make dua inshaAllah; that Allah subhana wa ta'ala brings you the right partner. And if you're about to lose hope, just look at it this way. Maybe Allah subahan wa ta'ala is waiting for you to be ready, or maybe he is testing you because he wants to reward you?

no. 3: im scared. the only man i have ever known hasnt been a good example.

Yes I understand. And I think you should have labeled this no. 1 since it seems a much more crucial motive. after my father attempted to kill me and my family, it took me more then 15 years to open up to people again, and I still have issues with it. there simply isn't a simple one-way solution to these kinds of problems. Just take it one step at the time, try to motivate your choices by a hope for a better future, and not motivate them as a reaction to a worse past.

May Allah subhana wa ta'ala guide you.

 

[BNDGR]

Asalam alaikum Sevgi,
In reading what you posted I am truly sad that anyone is allowed to bring children into the world. Sorry if that sounds harsh but as in your case and also with other people I know from the field I work, anyone can make a baby, but some should not. Parents have a role in a childs life to love them with everything they have, teach them about God and religion and teach them everything they need in order to grow up confident and self assured, also to show physical affection and love every minute of every day and discipline them (not abuse) in order to help them grow and learn right from wrong and also to instill in them self esteem and that they are important and they do matter.!!
Sadly sometimes parents take their own frustrations and conflicts out on thier kids.
I don't have any good advice other than pray that Allah helps get you thru your past and helps you come to your present, and makes your future a brighter one.
Letting people get close is always hard after what you've gone thru, but there are so many people out there that are good and kind and would help you just by being your friend to listen and be there for YOU completely and without expecting anything in return , that's what a true friend does!
I wish I could hug you, I feel like you need a big hug!
I don't know you personally but I feel for your situation and what you've been thru and you need all the support you can get.

 

[sevgi]

urghh..

i hate this.

but im getting smarter. Allah has granted me an awesome friend who is fighting in my place. im so scared though..

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

urghh..

i hate this.

but im getting smarter. Allah has granted me an awesome friend who is fighting in my place. im so scared though..

coooool

i want an awesome friend to fight in my place too !! see how blessed you are :O