Frustrations in getting married

GuestFellow said:
I rather get married to my own reflection. Marrying a women sounds like hard work. My cockatiels require less maintenance!
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You speak the truth. I don't have any cockatiels but I do know my dogs are more loyal to me and love me more than many women I know. However, neither your cockatiels nor my dogs can bear children for us. That's why I am prepared to put up with women. Because they can do the one thing which I can never do by myself, namely bear children.
 
Ali Mujahidin said:
You speak the truth. I don't have any cockatiels but I do know my dogs are more loyal to me and love me more than many women I know. However, neither your cockatiels nor my dogs can bear children for us. That's why I am prepared to put up with women. Because they can do the one thing which I can never do by myself, namely bear children.
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You be surprised what kind of unislamic jahil husbands women have to deal with. No one is forcing you to "put up" with women, why don't you spare yourself and them the headache and go help out where you are needed, namely syria, iraq, afghan, etc. and take guestfellow with you.
 
islamica said:
You be surprised what kind of unislamic jahil husbands women have to deal with.
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:wa:

You get all sorts of bad husbands and wives.

No one is forcing you to "put up" with women
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Of course. I'm so glad I have that choice.

why don't you spare yourself and them the headache and go help out where you are needed, namely syria, iraq, afghan, etc. and take guestfellow with you.
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Perfect. I always wanted to visit Syria, Iraq and Afghanistan. I rather face foreign military forces.


:wa:
 
ardianto said:
Compare women with animals?

Aren't your mothers women...???
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A pet animal requires less maintenance than a wife. For example this is how much I have spent on my cockatiels: £50. This includes food, toys, cage accessories and stuff like that.

A married women will cost me over £1000000000000000000000000. So yeah there is a big difference.

DUH!
 
ardianto said:
Compare women with animals?

Aren't your mothers women...???
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I would be insulting my dogs if I compare them to some of the women I have met. Yes, my mother is a woman and she is a great woman and I love her very much. However, not all women are my mothers and not all women are great and I don't love all women very much. Hope that solves the mystery for you.
 
Ali Mujahidin said:
I would be insulting my dogs if I compare them to some of the women I have met. [Q
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:wa:

Your royal highness. Please allow me to say that you cannot keep dogs in accordance with Islamic law unless for guarding purposes.

Hope that solves the mystery for you.
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His royal highness is beautiful in terms of conveying his thoughts.

No women are worthy for his royal highness.
 
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noorseeker said:
and 3 months later his wife will be chasing him with a stick
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:sl:
THAT IS WHAT MAX OF PEOPLE ARE AFRAID OF!!! NOW ALLAH KNOWS THAT BETTER WHAT WILL B THE OUTCOME OF THIS ACT OF OURS, BUT HEARING OTHER'S BAD XPERIENCES, EVEN HV HEARD AND SEEN WORST ONES, MAKES US REALLY RELUCTANT AND QUITE AFRAID TO TAKE SUCH A STEP...
 
GuestFellow said:
A pet animal requires less maintenance than a wife. For example this is how much I have spent on my cockatiels: £50. This includes food, toys, cage accessories and stuff like that.

A married women will cost me over £1000000000000000000000000. So yeah there is a big difference.

DUH!
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I never want to count how much money I've spent for my wife. I've spent big amount for her medical treatment. But, this is my responsibility as her husband.

Have a wife is expensive. But if you have a woman who you love, you would be happy if you could give what she want, even you would have feeling to give her more than what she expect.

Don't worry, a good wife will not demand something beyond the husband ability.

Ali Mujahidin said:
I would be insulting my dogs if I compare them to some of the women I have met. Yes, my mother is a woman and she is a great woman and I love her very much. However, not all women are my mothers and not all women are great and I don't love all women very much. Hope that solves the mystery for you.
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We must fair, sir. Yes, there are women with bad behavior. But, how about men?. I've meet many men with bad behavior too. Then should we compare the men with animals too?.

Generaly, women are not as bad as some men assumption. They are just different than men. What the men must do is try to understand this difference.
 
ardianto said:
I never want to count how much money I've spent for my wife. I've spent big amount for her medical treatment. But, this is my responsibility as her husband.
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Rent per month, $1,000. Typical Wedding, $5,000. Having a wife who loves you, priceless.
 
Assalam o alikum

loved what you said uncle ardianto :)

i dun care what u guys think but in a well known and very interesting hadith, the Prophet (alaihi al-salatu wa al-salam) is reported to have said:

“Made beloved to me from your world are women and perfume, and the coolness of my eyes is in prayer.” (Ahmad and An-Nasa ‘i)
 
Okay, nobody wanted to reply to my query in the abstract, so a direct example:

You have a daughter. A guy asks you for permission to court her. He is an upstanding, pious man as far as you can tell, but he's still studying. It will be at least a few years before he is done studying and can assume a full-time job matching his qualifications. In the meantime he's barely capable of supporting himself, certainly not another person too on top of that.

Would you allow him to court your daughter?
 
Futuwwa said:
Okay, nobody wanted to reply to my query in the abstract, so a direct example:

You have a daughter. A guy asks you for permission to court her. He is an upstanding, pious man as far as you can tell, but he's still studying. It will be at least a few years before he is done studying and can assume a full-time job matching his qualifications. In the meantime he's barely capable of supporting himself, certainly not another person too on top of that.

Would you allow him to court your daughter?
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:salam:

This is an issue I have pondered much over. Am I not already spending on my daughter to support her? I can do the same whilst she is married to help both her and this other brother. We see today's society makes matters very difficult, so I see that we should spare our children, do whatever we can to help them. The fitan related to this matter are the strongest, so a marriage would be ideal. It used to be such an easy matter, but today it has been made difficult, and so we see corruption. Maybe if the past generations didn't do it, we can start.

Allah knows best.
 
Futuwwa said:
Okay, nobody wanted to reply to my query in the abstract, so a direct example:

You have a daughter. A guy asks you for permission to court her. He is an upstanding, pious man as far as you can tell, but he's still studying. It will be at least a few years before he is done studying and can assume a full-time job matching his qualifications. In the meantime he's barely capable of supporting himself, certainly not another person too on top of that.

Would you allow him to court your daughter?
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:salam: brother,

The concept of 'courting' does not exist in Islam.

If a man is interested in marriage, he should approach the girls walli, meet her in his presence (for a chance to see each other and speak) and if there is interest thereafter, turn to Allah by means of istikharaah salaah (seeking His guidance with regards to proposal for marriage).
If both parties are interested (in terms of possible compatibility, attraction, deeni inclination, a positive istikharaah), the families are satisfied with each others backgrounds, etc. then discussions can commence with regards to nikkah - which occurs as soon as possible (not years later).

If marriage does not appear to be feasible at present for some reason, then this person should bear patience, make duaa that Allah changes His condition.....and when he is ready to settle down, then he can proceed in the above manner.

There is no place for a man and woman to be in contact with each other for years on end (in the manner of 'courthship'), as these types of relationships are not permissible in islam.


:wasalam:
 
You know very well what I meant. Substitute "courting" for "whatever you think the proper way of finding a spouse is".
 
Futuwwa said:
Okay, nobody wanted to reply to my query in the abstract, so a direct example:

You have a daughter. A guy asks you for permission to court her. He is an upstanding, pious man as far as you can tell, but he's still studying. It will be at least a few years before he is done studying and can assume a full-time job matching his qualifications. In the meantime he's barely capable of supporting himself, certainly not another person too on top of that.

Would you allow him to court your daughter?
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No, no and no again.

I have looked at the kitabs (well, the translations) and I have asked the maulanas. So far, I have not found anything in Islam which allows courtship. Or a relationship between a male and a female prior to marriage. So if such a person were to ask me, I would simply tell him to concentrate on his studies and come to see me again when he is ready to take care of a wife.
 

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