I used to want to be That Guy. Even moreso because my best friend for a time was That Guy. He was athletic, good-looking, popular, all the girls wanted to be with him. Then there was me. Goofy, awkward, a total dork. None of the girls wanted to be with me. It really used to bother me back then.
Now I know I am a dork, and I embrace my dorkdom. It has become a part of me, and I cannot deny it now. I read history books and play video games, and enjoy a good session of D&D. I am a dork and proud of it.
Anyway, I do have a serious question for the sisters (if there are any still around here). Are there any specific qualities of a Muslim man that you look for? What do you consider to be the best qualities of a husband?
Enlighten us, please.
sorry brother but I can never understand whats a dork, what is it really?If it is something not nice, you're not to say you are one!:nervous:
Also, they say one should always stay far away from people who somehow intimidate you to the extent that you see them as a star and they use you as a sponge. Awkward people are usually shy people, there is nothing wrong with being awkward around females, i think its a part of one's natural nature that we feel awkward around some people, I also used to feel awkward around some very liberal friends of mine back in school, and then after sometime I was like, why should I feel awkward, to hell with it, they should feel awkward, I am right, they are wrong! and then it was all good.
But that came from reading the Quran more and more and learning the truth. The truth definitely sets you free of all the awkwardness.
About building confidence, I can only suggest a few things, Like I think ( I maybe wrong) that first start acting confident, even if one isn't. Imagine yourself as one, you know dr. zakir naik, he had the same confidence issues and he worked on them MashAlllah such a good worldwide speaker now inspite of the fact that he says that he still stammers in personal conversation as he was always a stammerer, but he used to read the Prophet Musa A.S dua and it helped him improve his speech a lot. It will take sometime and effort, but its always your own effort and prayers, watch good speakers speak, the good islamic speakers or american islamic for that matter.
Don't watch the simpsons, the family guy, south park and etc, and the american sarcastic shows,( I know none will stop just because I say so but I have a reason to say this) I can almost swear that these things have damaged the american society more than anything, they teach its ok to be a dork ( dont even know what it is:/) They teach it is ok to laugh at oneslef all the time, they teach its ok to be impolite in public and have lame manners, and they do it like its a really funny and smart thing to do. People repeat jokes from the Tv shows and repeat that behaviour they see on Tv.
People are literally learning everything off from their screens, and nothing from their books. I dont even want to talk about south park, but it has severely damaged people's minds irreparably, and they dont even realize it, it is so insulting, and so demeaning to show humans acting like silly, uncaring, uncouth, ill mannered cartoons, these cartoons almost construct the social make up of a society.
What you see, is imprinted in your mind, what you hear, is imprinted in your subconscious, our mind utilizes whatever we see and hear, and it HUGELY influences our personalities. I am not implying that you or anyone sees all such things, maybe you don't, but there are similar things like these which are constantly finding exposure to our keen minds and we pick them up thinking as if they offer some kind of comedy solace to us when infact they damage the gentler side of our precious personalities.
In order to improve one's deficiencies, one has to first think over 'what contributed to that deficiency?' Is it the surroundings, stressful upbringing, abusive upbringing or any other, if the reason is identified, it can be handled, if the reason is not identified, you cannot pour pure water in a glass which is full of filthy mud, the pure water will always spill out even before going in it..One has to cleanse the sources of the particular deficiency and then move towards improvement.
I know most people may not agree, but you'll never know unless you try.
( I know i know, I lecture a lot, but cant help it
please excuse if anyone doesnt like it)
