Assalamualaikum.
This is a reminder for brothers.
I don't remember, how many time I remind, do not put beauty on the top of criteria of expected wife. But now I think I must remind again.
I did not suggest to choose a woman who 'very far from beautiful' that makes you reluctant to marry her. But I tried to remind you, do not ever be tricked by beauty.
There are men who married women just because those women are beautiful. But they ignored a reality that those women actually have bad morals, bad character, bad personalities. After they have been married they just realized, their wives treat them bad, always urge them to buy anything. And if they cannot afford to buy what their wives want, their wives are angry and call them as useless husbands.
Do you want to have a wife like this?
Brothers, if you are looking for a wife, at first look at her akhlaq. Does she follow Islam properly? or she always missed salah and never fast?. If her akhlaq is OK, then you move to second criterion.
That's character, personality, and behavior. Notice her, does she have good manner and ettiquette? does she always respect to other people?. If the second criterion is OK, move to the third.
The third is ability to maintain her appearance. Notice her, does she is keeping herself clean?, does she always dressed well and modest?. Not every woman is physically beautiful, of course. But do you know? a woman who is not physically beautiful but able to maintain her appearance will look good, and woman who is physical beautiful but cannot maintain her beauty will look bad. If this is OK, move to the last criterion.
This is physical beauty. Okay, if you think she is not beautiful enough, you can leave her and start looking for for another woman.
But before you leave her, look at the mirror and ask yourself "Am I handsome?".
I understand if you want to have beautiful wife, but you should understand that women also want to have handsome husbands. So, without intention to insult anyone, let me remind, if you are not handsome, do not expect beautiful woman.
Like I've said several times, my problem in the past was not "how to find a girl", but "how to avoid those girls". That's because I was a handsome guy when I was young. If you are in a position like this, it's okay if you are very picky. But if not, it's will lead you to a big problem and frustration in getting married.
I was familiar with women, including beautiful women. They were very close to me and made me could notice their character and personalities, deeply. And I found, there are women who have good outer beauty but have really bad character inside.
That's why I often remind brothers here, do not ever attracted only by beauty. Because I know, mostly brothers here do not have experience like my experience. And only experienced men who able to distinguish which beautiful woman who has good character, which beautiful woman who has bad character.
I married a beautiful woman who was expected by many men. But I chose her not because her beauty, and she chose me not because my handsomeness. We were classmate and we were close friend who could understand each other. Our experiences had taught us not to put beauty as the main criteria in choosing a mate
I have been married her for more than 17 years. Alhamdulillah, she still love me although my handsomeness had gone since long time ago. Now I am just a fat man in middle of 40s age.
Beauty will make someone comes to us, but not beauty that make this someone stay longer with us. Not beauty that make us love and be loved by our wives, but comfortable feeling from how we treat them and how they treat us that will make us love and be beloved by our wives.
Perhaps this sound strange. But if you have a life like my life you must be know, it's true. That's why there are husbands who divorced their beautiful wives and then marry other women who are not physically beautiful.
So, follow step by step in choosing a wife that I've taught above, but do not too fast to move to beauty. Try to know deeper her character and personality. Her good deed, her kindness to you, will makes you feel appreciated. And choose a woman who able to maintain her apperance although she is not physically beautiful. Like I've said, a woman who is not physically beautiful but able to maintain the appearance will look good. InshaAllah, her good character and her good appearance will makes you attracted to her.
Do not envy to beautiful people who married beautiful spouses. Not all people like this are happy with their marriage life.
Trust me, beautiful wife who has bad character will not make you happy. But wife who is not physically beautiful but always appreciate you, InshaAllah, will make you happy.