Muslim teacher suspended over handshake

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At least she put her religion before anything, thats cool, Masha'Allah.

 

[sonz]

LOL, that's a funny quote.

Whatever, don't get me wrong. I understand that those are the Islamic rules, and that's fine with me.

But for me. personally, the whole issue of gender separation is utterly incomprehensible! I don't wish to hijack sonz' thread, and there isn't much point debating it anyway ... I will never agree with the idea that the mixing of genders is somehow dirty, sexist and inappropriate!

freemixing causes temptation. this is an undeniable fact. so why allow something that causes people to go against the beliefs of islam such as fornication and adultry.


Free mixing in Islam

When we consider all of the laws governing the relationship between men and women in Islam, it is clear that Islam forbids any mixing between the sexes that might provide even the remotest possibility of temptation. Scholars of Islam throughout history have fully appreciated this fact. We can see it evidenced in the writings of the great jurists:

Imam Al-Sarakhsī writes: “The judge should try women separately from men since people tend to crowd together in the courtroom. It is quite obvious that the mixing together of men and women under such crowded conditions is conducive to temptation and other distasteful consequences.” [al-Mabsūt (16/80)]

Imam Al-Nawawī also writes: “Ibn al-Mundhir and others maintain that it is a matter of unanimous agreement that women are not obligated to attend the Jumu`ah prayers. However, his argument that this is because it brings about the mixing of women and men is not correct. The attendance of women at the Jumu`ah prayers does not necessarily bring about such mixing since the women stay behind the men.” [al-Majmū` (4/350)]

Al-Nawawī further explains: “One of the vilest innovations, that some ignorant people today are involved in, is the habit of lighting candles on Mount `Arafah on the ninth night. This behavior is gravely misguided and is full of improper goings-on such as the mixing of men and women.” [al-Majmū`: (8/140)]

In the law book entitled al-Fawākih al-Dawānī, there is a discussion of when it is permissible to refuse an invitation to a wedding party. It says: “An invitation may be refused if there is any clear wrongdoing at the party, like the mixing of men and women.”

When scholars warn against the free mixing of men and women, they are not talking about the mere presence of men and women together in the same place. This is something that is definitely not prohibited by Islamic Law. Men and women gathered in the same place at the time of the Prophet (SAW) in the mosque and in the marketplace. They walked down the same roads and public thoroughfares.

The mere presence of men and women in the same area is not a great cause for temptation. It would be wrong to treat this as unlawful mixing, since the reason for prohibiting free mixing does not exist in such circumstances. If someone were to prohibit men and women from frequenting the same public places under the pretext of preventing temptation, this would be taking matters to an extreme and imposing a restriction that is unduly severe. Such a policy is, moreover, unnatural and would impose great hardships on people’s lives.

At the same time, some circumstances are indisputably cases of unlawful mixing. This would include situations where women and men are crowded together so that there is a danger of their making physical contact. Equally unlawful would be any occasion where unrelated women and men are seated next to one another. Under these circumstances, desires are kindled and temptations are greater and regrettable things happen, as is seen time and again in co-ed schools and mixed social events.

The same can be said for any repeated acquaintance between men and women. Repeated meetings break down the barriers between men and women and allow a relationship to develop between them.

We cannot compare situations like these to the general presence of men and women at shops and other open public places, especially when women are accompanied by their family. In such cases, there is no intimacy, no crowding, and no reason for suspicion. Preventing women from public places frequented by men in order to prevent temptation would be taking things to an extreme.

A woman is commanded in Islam not to come too close to men. She is not, however, prohibited from going to places where men are present as long as she does not approach them or place herself in a position where she is alone with them.

There can be no doubt that preventative legislation is an important part of Islamic Law. There are numerous rulings in Islam that are preventative in nature. However, this does not mean that we can legislate against every remote possibility of wrongdoing that we can think of. Doing so would be a violation of Islam’s tolerance and magnanimity and its ease of application. It would place too great a burden upon the believers.

People might differ as to the degree of mixing that is prohibited. We can, nonetheless, get a good approximation of proper limits by reviewing the laws of Islam that govern the relationship between men and women. The sacred texts provides ample evidence about how and when men and women can meet, how women should dress and conduct themselves when they go outside, and many other pertinent matters. It is impossible for free mixing between men and women to occur if Islamic Law is properly observed.

The body of evidence showing that women and men should not mix freely with one another is quite large. We will briefly mention some of it:

1. Allah says: “And when you ask the ladies for anything, ask them from before a screen. That makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs.” [Sūrah al-Ahzāb: 53] For women to go about uncovered in the company of men is inarguably a gross violation of the command given in this verse.

2. It is prohibited for men to join women in one place in the absence of at least one of the women’s close male relatives. The Prophet (SAW) forbade men and women from being alone together. He said: “Never is a man alone with a woman except that Satan is the third party with them.”

The Prophet (SAW) also said: “Do not enter into the company of women.” A man then asked him: “What about her male in-laws?” The Prophet (SAW) replied: “The in-law is the most dangerous”.

This hadīth emphasizes the importance of being wary of in-laws since they are likely to have more opportunities to be alone with the woman and to see her as others do not get the opportunity to see her.

The private meeting between a man and an unchaperoned woman is one of the serious forms of mixing that can take place between the sexes. Temptations are worse when the people know that they are shielded from the sight of others.

Ibn Daqīq al-`Īd makes the following important observation: “We must take into consideration whether or not the man’s arrival at a place brings about a situation where he is alone with the woman. If it does not do so, it is not unlawful for him to go there.” (2/181)

This point was made clear by the Prophet (SAW) when he said: “No man should enter into the presence of a woman after this day unless he is accompanied by one or two other men.” [Sahīh Muslim]

3. There are numerous evidences that the woman may not shake hands with men who are not among her closest relatives.

The Prophet (SAW) never shook hands with an unrelated woman. Umaymah b. Raqīqah said: “I came to the Prophet (SAW) with a group of the women of Madinah to swear fealty for Islam. The women informed Allah’s Messenger (SAW) that they wished to swear fealty to him. The Prophet (SAW) said: ‘I do not shake hands with women. The way I accept the pledge from one woman is the same as with one hundred women.” [al-Muwatta’, Sunan al-Tirmidhī, Sunan al-Nasa’ī and Sunan Ibn Majah].

The Prophet (SAW) also said: “It is better for one of you to be pierced by a steel pin in his head than to touch the hand of a strange woman.”

4. The Qur’ān clearly forbids women from being soft of speech while talking to men. Allah says: “Be not too complaisant of speech, lest one in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire: but speak with a speech (that is) proper.” [Sūrah al-Ahzāb: 32].

5. There is evidence that women may not sit with strange men while wearing perfume. The Prophet (SAW) said: “Any woman who puts on perfume then goes and passes by some men to let them find her scent is a type of adulteress.” [Musnad Ahmad, Tirmidhi]

6. The Prophet (SAW) said: “The best of rows in prayer for the man is the first row and the worst for him is the last, and the best of rows for the women is the last row and the worst for her is the first.” [Sahīh Muslim].

If this advice is being given for men and women when they are in their purest frame of mind and engaged in prayer, then how should they be expected to conduct themselves in other situations?

Ibn `Abbās(RA) relates that he prayed one of the `Īd prayers with the Prophet (SAW). He informs us that the Prophet (SAW) prayed and offered a sermon, then he went to the women and offered to them a separate sermon, admonishing them and encouraging them to give charity. [Sahīh al-Bukhārī]

Ibn Hajr offers the following observations about this hadīth: “The fact that he went to the women separately shows that the women were assembled separately from the men and were not mixed in with them.” [Fath al-Bārī (2/466)]

7. Once the Prophet (SAW) saw men and women mixing together on the road upon their departure from the mosque. He said to the women: “Hold back a bit. You do not have to walk in the middle of the road. You may keep to the sides.” The narrator of the hadīth commented that after that time, women would come so close to the buildings that their dresses would sometime cling to the walls.” [Abu Dāwūd]

Ibn `Umar related that the Prophet (SAW) said about one of the mosque’s doors: “We should leave this door exclusively for women to use.” Ibn `Umar, until he died, never again entered through that door. [Abu Dāwūd]

Umm Salamah said: “When the Prophet (SAW) completed the prayer, the women would get up to leave. He would then wait awhile before standing.” Ibn Shahāb said: “I believe that he waited for a while to give the women an opportunity to depart before the men.” [Sahīh al-Bukhārī]

Ibn Hajr comments: “In the hadīth, we see that it is disliked for men and women to mix on the road. How much more, then, should such mixing be avoided inside of houses.” [Fath al-Bārī (2/336)]

8. It was related in al-Bukhārī that women at the time of the Prophet (SAW) did not circumambulate the Ka`bah along with the men. `Ā’ishah used to go around the Ka`bah at a good distance from the men and avoided mixing with them. Once another woman bade to her to go forward with her so they could touch the corner of the Ka`bah. `Ā’ishah refused to do so. [Sahīh al-Bukhārī]

One of `Āishah’s handmaidens came to her and said: “O Mother of believers, I went around the Ka`bah seven times and touched the corner twice or trice”.

`Āishah replied: “May Allah not reward you for pushing your way through men. It would have been sufficient for you to you to say “Allah Akbar” as you passed by”. [Musnad al-Shāfi`ī]

There are two things that this shows us. First, `Ā’ishah did not hesitate to circumambulate the Ka`bah when there were men around, nor did she forbid other women from doing so. She only refrained from crowding into men and mixing with them and this is what she prohibited others from doing. This shows us in the clearest of terms that the mere presence of men and women in the same place is not prohibited.

Second, the mixing and contact between men and women circumambulating the Ka`bah that unavoidably occurs during Hajj under today’s crowded conditions cannot be used as proof that such mixing is generally allowed. Firstly, the practice of the people does not constitute any sort of evidence in Islamic Law. Secondly, what is happening today during Hajj is unavoidable. It is permitted out of necessity and cannot be made into a general rule for all times and circumstances. It would be fruitless for us to try and demand that women avoid contact with men while circumambulating the Ka`bah during Hajj. It would be equally impossible to ask them to delay their circumambulations until the crowds depart, especially since the women on Hajj are always accompanied by the others who came with them who cannot be forced to wait around.

It is pure sophistry for anyone to use these exceptional circumstances to argue that men and women are allowed to mingle under circumstances where no necessity exists. It is just as baseless as taking the other extreme and declaring the mere presence or men and women in the same place to be unlawful mixing.

We will conclude by mentioning a few verses of the Qur’ān. Allah says: “Nor come nigh to adultery”. In this verse, Allah does not say “Do not commit adultery” but tells us not even to come close to it. This means that everything that may seduce a person to fall into adultery is unlawful.

Moreover, Allah says: “Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them.” and says: “And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty.” [Sūrah al-Nūr: 30-31] This shows us how men and women are to conduct themselves.

Jesus mixed with men and women alike, and it is his example I follow! He even had contact with women which were deemed 'unclean' (i.e. a menstruating woman and non-Jewish women).

peace.

according to the bible of today but in islam we believe that jesus followed the same example as the other prophets. 1 of the characteristics of prophet muhammad (saw) is that he could be alone with non-mahram and look at them cuz of his infallability.

 

[glo]

nobody does till they find their spouse in bed with another person- this rule is to protect us from feeling attracted to the other gender

Well, that's exactly what I mean.
I have worked, studied and socialised with men all my life - and it has not turned me into a loose woman who feels the need to succumb to any man who comes her way! The whole idea, that that should be the case, is just daft!
My husband and I have been faithful to each other for 20 years - without feeling the need to keep watching each others move or preventing each other from socialising.
The point is, that we love and trust each other - just as we trust ourselves to walk around, free-mixing, and yet upholding certain moral standards.

All gender separation means to me, is a demonstration of a lack of trust - in your spouse and in yourself!

I don't think I can reply to any further posts on this ... the whole things really makes me quite mad! :heated:

Peace.

 

[lolwatever]

lol.. well put it this way, fact is, some people can control their feelings more than others, but suppose Islam said 'if you cant control ur feeling ur nto allowed 2 shake hands'

no one will hav the guts to say 'oh soryr i cant shake ur hand coz i get tempted to thinking haram stuff easily' lol.. its a genearl rule which works for everyone and the benefit is there

salamz

 

[Trumble]

sexist??? how is it sexist since the rule applies to both men and women.

Ah, sorry, I misunderstood. I got the impression it applied only to women, or to be precise handshakes (or lack of them) between men and women, but obviously that is not the case.

 

[lolwatever]

Ah, sorry, I misunderstood. I got the impression it applied only to women, or to be precise handshakes (or lack of them) between men and women, but obviously that is not the case.

cool np

i got confused too... 'women not allowed 2 shake man hand, but man allowed to shake women hand' --> sounds like paradox ;D

 

[KAding]

I can't see anything other than a sexist motivation for the difference between men and women, but if that's they way it is in Islam and the teacher is happy with that, so be it.

I can't see why anybody should be forced to shake hands with anybody if they don't wish to. I think the "officials" are wrong purely on the grounds of personal liberty and freedom of choice, rather than religious discrimination.

Agreed.

 

[Obi-Wan]

If anybody felt compelled to cover his hand with a cloth before shaking mine, I'd be so offended! :uuh:

Even if you understood that no offence was intended?

 

[Malaikah]

If anybody felt compelled to cover his hand with a cloth before shaking mine, I'd be so offended! :uuh:

:giggling: So would I- it would seem like they think my hands arent clean or something.

But i dont understand why you think its sexist? It applies to both males and females in the same way.

 

[glo]

But i dont understand why you think its sexist? It applies to both males and females in the same way.

Did I say anywhere that it was sexist ... :?

 

[rubiesand]

Just curious Glo, would you be equally offended if an Orthodox Jewish man refused to shake your hand?

 

[Malaikah]

I will never agree with the idea that the mixing of genders is somehow dirty, sexist and inappropriate!

^Thats where you said it Glo, unless i misunderstood? :?

Unless you think that WE think mixing is sexist?? which doesnt actually make sense, now that i think about you said...

 

[rubiesand]

"What Can Possibly be Wrong with shaking hands with members of the opposite sex?"

A Jewish perspective which resonates with me as a Muslim woman.

 

[lolwatever]

^ but i think the jews take it further even with their mahrams.... correct me if im wrong

 

[Mohsin]

Did I say anywhere that it was sexist ... :?

I don't mean to be rude, but you said it here and you highlighted it in bold. i guess you meant something else then, but others have said the same though.

I will never agree with the idea that the mixing of genders is somehow dirty, sexist and inappropriate!

I don't understand why people think it is sexist when its the same for both sexes. :?

 

[glo]

I don't mean to be rude, but you said it here and you highlighted it in bold. i guess you meant something else then, but others have said the same though.

I don't understand why people think it is sexist when its the same for both sexes. :?

You are not being rude ... you are just misreading my post. I said:

I will never agree with the idea that the mixing of genders is somehow dirty, sexist and inappropriate!

I am not saying that men and women not shaking hands is sexist.
I am saying that I don't understand why Muslims think the mixing of genders is sexist. (What I mean by that, Mohsin and cheese, is that Muslims often seem to refer to men and women in the Western world relating to each other in ways which Muslims consider sexist. Does that make it clearer?)

peace.

 

[lolwatever]

^ we don't regard mixing as being sexist as such... it's more towards behaving like animals in a barn, no decency or respect.

and.. the biggest reason.. is the one i mentioned a couple posts up.. coupled with sonz article.
http://www.islamicboard.com/482044-post24.html

tc all the best

ps: and that dont mean its haram 2 talk 2sum1 of opposite gender..... as long as with in rules n stuff..
pps: alpha dudette leave my posts alone! :anger:

 

[KAding]

I don't understand why people think it is sexist when its the same for both sexes. :?

Sexism actually has two meanings:

sex·ism (sĕk'sĭz'əm) pronunciation
n.

1. Discrimination based on gender, especially discrimination against women.
2. Attitudes, conditions, or behaviors that promote stereotyping of social roles based on gender.

So it is not just discrimination, but also putting limits on individuals because of their gender. I.e. overemphasising gender and making it determine how people should act. So seperating males from females just because of their gender would be considered sexist by many feminists.

 

[lolwatever]

^ its the connotation more than the definition thats the problem.

and feminists exist because of europeans attitude 2 women... they cant seem to find the balance, they jump from one extreme to the other, a while back they couldnt figure whether a woman was human or not.. now they think a woman is a marketing tool... the less clothes the more attractive the product (even if its toilet paper they're selling)

no decency no nothing..

as much as u'd like to think islam despises women, only Allah knows we respect the good amongst them more than you fellas do.

 

[azim]

Sexism actually has two meanings:

sex·ism (sĕk'sĭz'əm) pronunciation
n.

1. Discrimination based on gender, especially discrimination against women.
2. Attitudes, conditions, or behaviors that promote stereotyping of social roles based on gender.

So it is not just discrimination, but also putting limits on individuals because of their gender. I.e. overemphasising gender and making it determine how people should act. So seperating males from females just because of their gender would be considered sexist by many feminists.

Well in that case the next time you go into the mens toilet... stop and think to yourself. You're being sexist by using a toilet that is only for men!! Perhaps you should use the womens toilets as a revolutionary protest against the sexist views of this country!

And make sure you stop watching sports! I mean why can't men and women box each other? Afterall - seperating them based on gender is sexist! That includes football, basketball, rugby and pretty much every physical team sport played.

At the end of the day, men and women are inherently different. Islam accomodates these differences.