My wife has gone, back to Allah

[ardianto]

Assalamu alaikum. I am very sorry for your loss. I believe you have been a very good husband for her. This thread has brought tears to my eyes. May Allah (swt) give you strength and sabr to get through this very difficult time, may Allah (swt) reward you for your good deeds of constantly being there for her, and may Allah (swt) grant her entrance to the highest realms of Jannah. Ameen.

Wa'alaikumsalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

Ameen to your du'a, my sister. Yes I love my wife so much, and I will always love her with du'a. In Shaa Allah, I will try to be a better father for our children.

 

[Eric H]

Blessings and peace be with you ardianto; as you and your family cope with this great loss;

So much has already been said, you have gone through this great struggle with loving kindness and perseverance, I am sure this will bring you closer to Allah and your family.

We read this at my mother’s funeral...


Miss Me But Let Me Go
When I come to the end of the road
and the sun has set on me,
I want no rites in a gloom filled room,
Why cry for a soul set free.
Miss me a little--but not too long,
and not with your head bowed low,
Remember the love that we once shared,
Miss me--but let me go.
For this is a journey that we all must take,
And each must go alone.
It's all a part of the Master's plan,
A step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick of heart,
Go to the friends we know.
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds,
Miss me--but let me go.
(Unknown)



In the spirit of praying for the wisdom, peace, and perseverance to do the will of Allah

You are in my prayers.

Eric

 

[ardianto]

Blessings and peace be with you ardianto; as you and your family cope with this great loss;

So much has already been said, you have gone through this great struggle with loving kindness and perseverance, I am sure this will bring you closer to Allah and your family.

We read this at my mother’s funeral...


Miss Me But Let Me Go
When I come to the end of the road
and the sun has set on me,
I want no rites in a gloom filled room,
Why cry for a soul set free.
Miss me a little--but not too long,
and not with your head bowed low,
Remember the love that we once shared,
Miss me--but let me go.
For this is a journey that we all must take,
And each must go alone.
It's all a part of the Master's plan,
A step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick of heart,
Go to the friends we know.
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds,
Miss me--but let me go.
(Unknown)



In the spirit of praying for the wisdom, peace, and perseverance to do the will of Allah

You are in my prayers.

Eric

Blessing and peace be with you too, my brother.

Thank you very much for your prayers and the beautiful poem.

"Let me go". This was my wife often told me in her last few days. But I always replied her with "No!, you will not go. You will be better, and then we can go to every place you like".

In her last few days we also visited by many people, and some of them told me "Let her go if she want to go". And I always replied with silent. I was very guilty because I thought I was failed in take care her, and I was hoping I would have longer time, so I could love her better to redeem my guilty feeling.

In the last day, at morning, she told me "I want to move to the house central room". I knew what was that. Central room is the room where my father and my mother were ever being there before their funeral. Yes, I live in my parent house. Cancer treatment is expensive and my wife didn't have insurance. So I sold my house to pay her medical treatment. My house was the most liquid asset compared with my other assets.

Prior to noon she asked me "When will I move to the house central room?". I just silent. I still did not want to let her go, I still wanted to have longer time to love her.

At noon. I felt I must clean up her face. So I took wet tissue. She didn't say anything, just closed her eyes, and I saw tears, her last tears. Then I noticed her, and realized something. I said to myself quietly "Yaa Allah, she has been suffer too much". Then my heart said, I must let her go. And she's gone in the afternoon.

Yes, sometime what we think is the best for those who we love actually is not the best for them. But Allah always know the best.

Now I have to let her go. But I still keep my beautiful memories with her, I will always keep a love for her.

 

[ardianto]

Today I dinner in my sister in-law house and gathered with my other in-laws.

My marriage ended not because divorce. So, they are still my in-laws.

 

[GodIsAll]

I am glad they are there for you, my friend. Family is important.

 

[ardianto]

I am glad they are there for you, my friend. Family is important.

I'm close with my wife family since in highschool!

Although my wife was my classmate, actually I'm a year older. It's because I was naughty and must spent two year in grade 8 in seconday school. In the first year in grade 8, one student in another class was her brother.

I meet my wife in grade 12. Then she told about me to her family. So, when I visited her home she told her mother "Mom, this is the boy I've told you". Her brother asked me "Remember me?" and he told his sister "yes, this is the boy that I mean". Immediately I became close with her family. Even sometime I ate in their house.

There are 8 children in her family. She is the 6th. Honestly, I was shocked when I visted her home. She lived in very small house with only two bedrooms for 10 people.

I started to buy some goods for her, and even I used my saving to pay her study cost in a computer course after she told me that she was sad. She wanted to have higher education but her parent could not afford to pay the cost. It surprised her family. They did not think that I was very care to her.

But when she started her course I started to far from her and her family. I was busy with myself. Later when she finished her course and immediately got a job, I had been gone from their life. It's because I meet another girl, and I wanted to marry this girl.

It made her felt disappointed when she knew it. Then she tried to contact my mother, and knew that my mother did not approve the girl who I chose. In another side, my mother saw her as a girl that better than the girl who I chose. Immediately they became close and she started to close with my family.

So, when the girl who I wanted to marry decided to not marry me, I decided to back to my ex-classmate again. I back to her family again, although I got some satire from them such as "I hope no one will angry if you gather with us" or "Don't you go 'there' again?"

My wife family often held activities together, sometime the big family went to other places in group. With me too, of course. And even I more often gathered with my wife family than my big family. It made me always close with them.

And there is another reason why I still a member of my wife family. My kids. Yes, my kids have blood connection with them.

 

[Mustafa2012]

Hope you are well.

:jz: for sharing your memories and experiences with us.

May Allaah :swt1: make things easy for you and grant you contentment.

 

[ardianto]

Hope you are well.

:jz: for sharing your memories and experiences with us.

May Allaah :swt1: make things easy for you and grant you contentment.

:wasalam:

I'm fine, bro. Alhamdulillah.

My activities with my kids yesterday were visited their mother grave, dine out, and shopping our household needs.

I try to closer with my kids now.

 

[GodIsAll]

How old are your children again? You have told me once, but I have forgotten, sorry.

 

[ardianto]

How old are your children again? You have told me once, but I have forgotten, sorry.

I have two sons, 15 and 9 years old. The oldest is shy teen boy. He will enter highschool this year. The youngest is an active boy.

 

[UmmuShaheed]

Asalamu Alaykum
I pray everything is going Okay,
May Allah grant you sabr, and an increase of Iman

 

[ardianto]

Asalamu Alaykum
I pray everything is going Okay,
May Allah grant you sabr, and an increase of Iman

Wa'alaikum salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

Jazakillah khayr for your du'a, sister. In Shaa Allah I will always try to sabr and increase my iman.

 

[Qurratul Ayn]

:salamext:

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'oon



Dear, dear Brother ardianto, be strong for my precious Sister who is in a better place and has returned to The Lord. I remembered this quote and I shall write it here;


"Verily, when Allaah the Exalted wants to honour a servant of His (for his righteousness), He afflicts him with a reduced means of living, illness in his body and a fearful life (all of which expiate his sins). Until death comes upon him, and he still has some sins, death is made hard upon him because of them, causing him to meet Allaah with no sins against him."
Wuhayb b. Al-Ward


Always making Du'a for you & your family, dear brother ardianto and & the precious Ummah too

:salamext:

 

[sister herb]

Salam alaykum

Forgive me br Ardianto but admin should close this thread. We will make dua to she and to you but we also should leave you to miss she - alone, not remind you here every day.

:thankyou:

 

[ardianto]

Salam alaykum

Forgive me br Ardianto but admin should close this thread. We will make dua to she and to you but we also should leave you to miss she - alone, not remind you here every day.

:thankyou:

Wa'alaikum salam

I understand. It's okay if admin want to close this thread.

I was not an amazing husband, I am just an ordinary man who feel grateful with everything that Allah has given to me. I feel grateful that Allah ever gave me a good woman as my wife.

I hope it can be an inspiration for brothers and sisters here.

 

[sister herb]

Salam alaykum

I think that non of us are real amazing husbands or wives - we all are just weak humans. But in this worldy life we try to become better... I think. May Allah grant your wife to the Jannah, your sons find they place in this world as good muslims and you... be happy.