Polygamy?

[جوري]

The Vale's Lilly- by using him as an example you seem to suggest men need a second wife to satisfy their needs.

I can't be made responsible for how you understand or skew your understanding. I brought him up for a couple of points which are: he has two illegitimate children out of wedlock with whatever that entails after his demise, I also brought him up, because his wife is aware of the situation and because he is relatively well known since you have a propensity to often look for some ancillary rudiment on which to fixate!

That they cheat because they can't have more than one wife and that it is in their nature to do so. Re-read your own post.

see above response, I hate to repeat myself!

What I mean by it being morally wrong is exactly what I say, it really isn't hard, for me it is morally wrong to have more than one wife.

you 'saying so' is hardly evidence to turn this into a moral issue, it is nothing but your own feelings that you have shared. And they are worthless in the scheme of things!

While I believe there may be genuine reasons for it I also firmly believe that many men would/do take advantage. I watched a programme called "tribal wives" tonight where a woman spent two months living with a nomadic tribe in Turkey. There was a man in the family with two wives, the first wife talked of how it hurts her everyday that he took a second wife (although she's very kind to the other wife) and I notice how the second wife is much much younger....

Irrelevant. One woman isn't representative of all womankind who happen to be in a polygamous relation any more than 'swingers' represent the other end of that spectrum!

all the best

 

[Alpha Dude]

Monday: Munira
Tuesday: Fatima
Wednesday: Sumaya
Thursday: Halima
Friday: Sabrina
Saturday: Sulekha
Sunday: Aisha

I take it these are the names of all the girls you've ever fancied

 

[LauraS]

I can't be made responsible for how you understand or skew your understanding. I brought him up for a couple of points which are: he has two illegitimate children out of wedlock with whatever that entails after his demise, I also brought him up, because his wife is aware of the situation and because he is relatively well known since you have a propensity to often look for some ancillary rudiment on which to fixate!

see above response, I hate to repeat myself!
you 'saying so' is hardly evidence to turn this into a moral issue, it is nothing but your own feelings that you have shared. And they are worthless in the scheme of things!
Irrelevant. One woman isn't representative of all womankind who happen to be in a polygamous relation any more than 'swingers' represent the other end of that spectrum!

all the best

Wow, you really can twist things, so what exactly were you suggesting about men's "natures" and that some can cope with one wife but others will want more?

You seem to misunderstand the point of the thread, the OP was asking for people's opinions, which I gave by saying "I" thought it was morally wrong. We disagree, you just have to accept that like I accept there are people who agree with polygamy, what you say is equally as worthless in the scheme of things.

 

[Mohamed_Sadiq]

I take it these are the names of all the girls you've ever fancied

Loool (shhh don't expose my secrets).

 

[Ansariyah]

Everyone isnt into polygamy tho its halal, some people are quite happy wit 1 spouse, so i dont understand these 'do or die questions'.

 

[Mohamed_Sadiq]

Everyone isnt into polygamy tho its halal, some people are quite happy wit 1 spouse, so i dont understand these 'do or die questions'.

True but also your culture can really influence a person to consider polygamy. For instance my culture many practise polygamy specially back home.

 

[جوري]

Wow, you really can twist things, so what exactly were you suggesting about men's "natures" and that some can cope with one wife but others will want more?

1- ? twist things? just because you have a linear type thought process doesn't mean that all others acquiesce to your line of thinking!~
2-As for 'nature' well either look it up in the dictionary or address your queries to those who came up with said statistics!
3- furthermore the Islamic view which I have covered extensively goes beyond the physical satiation and imposes not only a limitation on number but rights that need to be complied with beyond merely bed hopping and sowing a few wild oats!

You seem to misunderstand the point of the thread, the OP was asking for people's opinions, which I gave by saying "I" thought it was morally wrong.

indeed, you have failed to elucidate that point of morality beyond throwing the term around.. morality is concerned between good vs. evil in the sight of God!
Do you need a definition of terms or is the OP propositioning you personally that you feel you had to impose your secular views as if they were the law?

We disagree, you just have to accept that like I accept there are people who agree with polygamy, what you say is equally as worthless in the scheme of things.

What I say is based on facts and data based evidence, what you write is based on emotions and tantrums.. It is easy to distinguish what should be binned and what needs to be reflected on!

all the best

 

[جوري]

Everyone isnt into polygamy tho its halal, some people are quite happy wit 1 spouse, so i dont understand these 'do or die questions'.

couldn't agree more.. another useless thread that attracts various gadflies with equally useless opinions!

 

[Mohamed_Sadiq]

couldn't agree more.. another useless thread that attracts various gadflies with equally useless opinions!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this thread or its topic. I just wanted to get the boys, girls and the non-muslims opinion towards polygamy which i did. For the muslims we will have the same beliefs about polygamy but different opinions for the non-muslims they have their rights to talk about what they think about without any Islamic believes as they don't know everything about Islam so there is no point arguing with a non-muslim unless they go out of boundaries. So i don't see anything bad with what Laura said, its her opinion and her self believes.

 

[Mohamed_Sadiq]

Different cultures and religions have different ethic and moral issues.

 

[LauraS]

Vales Lilly, you have posted very little "data" and evidence. Exactly where is the thread have I posted based on "tantrums", it's you that seems to behave in such childish ways as you immediately become rude when you see something you don't like. I seem to remember another thread that was deleted....

I have never given my opinion as if it was the law, but with you around it seems very hard to give an opinion without getting your head bitten off. I don't know what you took such offence to in the first place. I don't like polygamy, it's my opinion. I said that some people might have genuine reasons but I believe others don't.

I really don't know why you've become so argumentative again. :S

 

[tango92]

couldn't agree more.. another useless thread that attracts various gadflies with equally useless opinions!

dont be like that, its good to have fun threads once in a while.

i think more than one wife can be cool, but it is a bit impractical. i couldnt imagine trying to share love between two spouses, come to think of i cant see how im gonna love even one spouse completely. May Allah resolve my Dilemma.

and sisters may not like it but men happen to be quite self sufficient on their own. mostly the reason why men (unfortunately especially muslim men) marry is for physical attraction, unlike girls who also need financial support and much more emotional support. thats why women tend to chase their "true love" yet men wont make a distinstion between between any 2 attractive females. and sure there are sisters like vales lilly out there who woulD probably put men in their place, but alot of men simply see women as trophies.

 

[Ansariyah]

True but also your culture can really influence a person to consider polygamy. For instance my culture many practise polygamy specially back home.

Don't even get me started on cultures, seriously where do most of our cultures fit in Islam? Hardly no where, Islam permits polygamy but its not something that shud be taken lightly as the Quraan states.

Most cultures who practise polygamy also throw some of their weird practises into the mix, which turns polygamy into other then wat Allah made permissable...In reality an 'ugly thing'. women are honourable, Jannah is beneath the feet of a mother, and yet u find a woman mistreated somewhere in this world, crying out of injustice cause of a man who forgot her rights, while he remembered his 'Oh I can marry 4' right.

It makes u wonder, how do these people sleep at night? knowing they made another human being tear out of suffering they created.

 

[Alpha Dude]

Well from what I have seen, the following is true about polygamy.

Muslim men: Most are interested by the notion of it but wouldn't really pursue it, if push came to shove.

Muslim Women: 90% would not entertain it and would ask for a divorce if their husband sought another wife.

Non-Muslims: Most would consider it unfair against women and unnecessarily backward. Particularly the militant l-word feminazis would be quite vocal against it.

A small percentage of non-muslim guys would be in favour. For obvious reasons.

 

[purple]

I don’t understand Islamic, why a man is not obligated to tell his wife? Can someone please explain this to me?
As for the original question: no. I’m currently seeking a divorce.

 

[tango92]

when you get bored of one wife you might aswell get another.







what? what? :exhausted im just saying hew

 

[جوري]

Vales Lilly, you have posted very little "data" and evidence.

How much 'data evidence' does your ladyship require to be a believer vs. the hardcore truth of well your personal opinion?

Exactly where is the thread have I posted based on "tantrums", it's you that seems to behave in such childish ways as you immediately become rude when you see something you don't like. I seem to remember another thread that was deleted....

The majority of your posts are tantrum filled.. you have a skewed perception as such it isn't very difficult to understand why you perceive more reasonable posts not only as threatening but rude and in the process meander the topic to your personal feelings as if you haven't dispensed enough of them!

I have never given my opinion as if it was the law, but with you around it seems very hard to give an opinion without getting your head bitten off.

what do you give it as when you label it as 'moral' or immoral?

I don't know what you took such offence to in the first place. I don't like polygamy, it's my opinion. I said that some people might have genuine reasons but I believe others don't.

Again, I have taken no offense and if indeed you'd followed my posts and not only the part you wish to fixate on, you'd have realized that I have posted several things to that avail
1- there is a responsibility involved and that is the role of religion
2- men outnumber the women as of right now
3- it isn't for everyone
4- the men of now a days need to actually assess why it is they are pursuing more than one relationship.. did you miss all that? it is a pity.. you should read before you write!

I really don't know why you've become so argumentative again. :S

you are so funny!

all the best

 

[Mohamed_Sadiq]

Don't even get me started on cultures, seriously where do most of our cultures fit in Islam? Hardly no where, Islam permits polygamy but its not something that shud be taken lightly as the Quraan states.

Most cultures who practise polygamy also throw some of their weird practises into the mix, which turns polygamy into other then wat Allah made permissable...In reality an 'ugly thing'. women are honourable, Jannah is beneath the feet of a mother, and yet u find a woman mistreated somewhere in this world, crying out of injustice cause of a man who forgot her rights, while he remembered his 'Oh I can marry 4' right.

It makes u wonder, how do these people sleep at night? knowing they made another human being tear out of suffering they created.

I honestly think culture can affect polygamy, some cultures have Islam into it, I am talking about countries that are 100% muslim not these western countries. Also i know polygamy is not easy there are certain conditions you have to fulfill. For those people that practise polygamy and do not do it properly then Allah is watching them and could get punished for it unless they repent or ask for forgiveness. Allah knows best.

 

[جوري]

"true love" yet men wont make a distinstion between between any 2 attractive females. and sure there are sisters like vales lilly out there who woulD probably put men in their place, but alot of men simply see women as trophies.

I think at some point when both genders get past their rose tinted dreams, they tend to view their relationship in a more mature and cultivated light.. and it becomes a partnership than a need for support on the woman's part or a trophy of satisfaction for a man rather a complimentary duo.. I don't think I'd be happy putting my husband to be 'in his place' I simply don't look to that kind of relationship and hope that he in part wouldn't need to be put in place... I hope amongst other things that we'd be friends to one another because believe that is all that will remain after the first year of marriage.. and it is something to think about when pondering if Ms. universe or Ms. world will do for a wife..

 

[BoredAgnostic]

Personally speaking, I'd never agree with something like that.
If a women is okay with her husband having a couple extra wives on the side, then that's her business not mine. *Shrugs*.