
I recently got engaged a couple months ago to a guy that I have hated deep down in my heart for all my life. I agreed to it only b/c of family pressure, (which was wrong on my part but i wasn't strong enough) he was a hafiz and everything great to them, but no one new the truth. I figured he changed and gave in, but i was wrong. Long story short i forced my dad to end the whole thing a month a ago but my life has been hell ever since. B/c the guy was family, everyone is talkin tryin to spread rumors tryin to put a stain on my life includin the guy. I told my family that he wasn't a good guy, ect. but my mom knows there is more. shes on me every day to tell her but i can't i fell so embarrassed, even though i know i didn't do anything wrong, and i feel like its goin to make things worse. My dad on the other hand thinks i'm the one that did something wrong.Everything is getting so out of control, i'm so depressed and i just need advise.
I did istahara before and am doing now but i'm so lost
I'v kept this secret for more 13 years, and i feel like if i tell someone they wont even believe me.
and if they do than that will be the end of the guy... and i cant have that on my head .. no matter how much i hate him i still fear allah more!!!