Should one have a license to be a parent?

[Darth Ultor]

After hearing of several incidents of neglect, murder, and abuse that occur within families on the news, I begin to ask myself, is everyone qualified to be a parent? You need a license to drive a car or carry a gun, a child is a much heavier responsibility than driving or owning a firearm. Will the child be given the proper combination of love, education, and discipline so that he and she may stand on their own two feet one day? Will they grow up in a proper environment? Are both parents mentally, physically, and emotionally capable of raising a child? Apparently, from what hear on the news, not everyone is qualified to be a parent. Yes, it is our God-given right to have children, but take into account that any fool can make a baby, but it takes a real man or woman to raise a child. I personally think that prospective parents should go through certain testings before they decide to have a baby.

 

[nousername]

we'll end up like China then, with a one child policy or similar. the results are disastrous. and what about that who become pregnant but didn't plan to? It's a little too late than, unless you want to snatch the child away. But on the other hand, their are a lot of loser parents who don't care one bit about their kids, and mess them up for life.

 

[marwen]

And when you hang out with your kid, an officer stops you and tell you : "License and Registration Please !" ;D

But yes, I find this idea very interesting. And probably could prevent many problems as you said.

 

[Alpha Dude]

I have often wondered the same thing after hearing all the bad stuff.

And when you hang out with your kid, an officer stops you and tell you : "License and Registration Please !"

LOL hahaha! ;D

 

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

Aslaamu`Alaaykum

SubhaanAllaah thats true

If a Wife and Husband wish to raise a child ,they must first prepare themselve beforEhand. Theres a lot of irresponsiblity in the world today unfortunately, today kids are raised in ways that leads them to do what so ever they wish and thinking they have become successful by getting what they want esp in the Western world its horrible and terrifying. Kids arent kids no more, some are becoming scarier day by day e.g. knife crime, stealing, bullying etc etc.

Its the parents job to raise the child to respect themself and to respect others around them, and to be disciplined! And use physical abuse as an excuse if the kid does something really wrong or even little wrong, they should be teaching kids manners and much more anyway thats just my personal opinion and sorry if i went off topic.

Wa`Alaaykum Salaam

 

[Darth Ultor]

Aslaamu`Alaaykum

SubhaanAllaah thats true

If a Wife and Husband wish to raise a child ,they must first prepare themselve beforEhand. Theres a lot of irresponsiblity in the world today unfortunately, today kids are raised in ways that leads them to do what so ever they wish and thinking they have become successful by getting what they want esp in the Western world its horrible and terrifying. Kids arent kids no more, some are becoming scarier day by day e.g. knife crime, stealing, bullying etc etc.

Its the parents job to raise the child to respect themself and to respect others around them, and to be disciplined! And use physical abuse as an excuse if the kid does something really wrong or even little wrong, they should be teaching kids manners and much more anyway thats just my personal opinion and sorry if i went off topic.

Wa`Alaaykum Salaam

Spare the rod, spoil the child. But there is a fine line between discipline and abuse.

 

[Rhubarb Tart]

Do you want any country to have this issue :
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/dispatches/episode-guide/series-22/episode-1/

More than a decade after producing The Dying Rooms - a powerful film about the neglect of abandoned babies in Chinese orphanages - the same award-winning team returns to a very different China, where the infamous One Child Policy has created the horrific side-effect of a boom in stolen children.

It is estimated that 70,000 children are kidnapped in China every year and traded on the black market. This special Dispatches programme features extraordinary access to those directly involved, including devastated parents desperately searching for their stolen son, a man who brokers the deals and has sold his own offspring, and prospective parents grappling with giving up their soon-to-be-born daughter.

Beautiful, haunting and deeply tragic, this film takes us into the heart of modern China - a place where girl babies are being sold for as little as £200, detectives specialise in finding kidnapped children and child traffickers buy and sell human lives. The film provides an intimate portrait of the crisis that this stringent government policy has created among China's poorest people.

And if we were to "license" it then how would you monitor it? And how would you decide who is a fit parent or not? How does a fit parent look and act like? Do they have to be poor and living in small flat to be a "unfit" parents. Every child is different thus a every method and parent would be different. How can you set a Criteria if every child is different?

 

[Rhubarb Tart]

Spare the rod, spoil the child. But there is a fine line between discipline and abuse.

I completely agree. I dont agree with parent that beat the hell out of their children.

 

[Re.TiReD]

AssalamuAlaykum

I dunno....I voted no. I mean, Allah intended for it to be that way, its natural, get married, have children, sometimes its not something you actually decide. When you're younger you think nah kids are not worth the hassle, but right up until you hold your own in your arms, you have no idea of the power of the rahmah that Allah (swt) places in the hearts of parents. Same way, you dont know how good a parent somebody will be unless you see them with their own children. I just think individuals with mental problems and known problems should be monitored etc but otherwise, no...We shouldnt need a license to be parents. Maybe individuals living in deprived areas could have parenting classes or courses available to them, kinda like making the best of a bad environment but thats all.

edit: oh I thought you were talking about parents being abusive etc thats what I was talking about re: mental problems.

 

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

Spare the rod, spoil the child. But there is a fine line between discipline and abuse.

Yes i agree, but what i meant was "some" people use physical abuse to sort the situation between their child, not that i agree with beating the child!

 

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

AssalamuAlaykum

I dunno....I voted no. I mean, Allah intended for it to be that way, its natural, get married, have children, sometimes its not something you actually decide. When you're younger you think nah kids are not worth the hassle, but right up until you hold your own in your arms, you have no idea of the power of the rahmah that Allah (swt) places in the hearts of parents. Same way, you dont know how good a parent somebody will be unless you see them with their own children. I just think individuals with mental problems and known problems should be monitored etc but otherwise, no...We shouldnt need a license to be parents. Maybe individuals living in deprived areas could have parenting classes or courses available to them, kinda like making the best of a bad environment but thats all.

edit: oh I thought you were talking about parents being abusive etc thats what I was talking about re: mental problems.

I agree. . . .

 

[Rhubarb Tart]

Hey sister Hafsah

Can i ask a question.. what makes you think a parent in a poor area would more of a bad parent than someone living in a rich area. Are you talking about in term of feeding and clothing them or in general (feeding, clothing, emotional support, social support etc). Because you mentioned parenting classes, do you think a rich parent doesnt need parenting class?

 

[Alpha Dude]

This isn't really an idea that can seriously be entertained, of course. It's too impractical, for many reasons including the ones sweet106 points out.

Also, if Allah has told us to have many kids to increase the size of the ummah, then having this license thing is obviously going to be a barrier (and a bidah, ergo haram I would guess).

However, for muslims at least, we have laws/fiqh set out for everything we do so the least that can be done is that people know the fiqh of marriage and the rights of each party in a family that must be fulfilled.

At the end of the day, we plan and Allah plans. Sometimes Allah will place children in tough situations to test and strengthen them for later in life, regardless of how much planning against it that we do. Not to say we don't try to eliminate such things, just pointing out that there's divine wisdom behind everything.

The whole parenting license thing is just a rant on my part against all the parents out there who do incomprehensible and stupid things.

 

[Re.TiReD]

Hey sister Hafsah

Can i ask a question.. what makes you think a parent in a poor area would more of a bad parent than something living in a rich area. Are you talking about in term of feeding and clothing them or in general (feeding, clothing, emotional support, social support etc). Because you mentioned parenting classes, do you think a rich parent doesnt need parenting class?

Sister, I skim-read the previous posts and picked up on terms such as education, proper environment and knife crime. Lack of a good education, an 'unproper' environment, for lack of a better word and knife-crime are all things I'd associate with individuals living in deprived areas, hence the 'making the best of a bad environment' comment.

edit: so yes these people would need parenting classes to help them make the best of the situation and environments they're in. I'd assume rich families with could do with the same too Allahu A'lam.

 

[Alpha Dude]

Hey sister Hafsah

Can i ask a question.. what makes you think a parent in a poor area would more of a bad parent than something living in a rich area. Are you talking about in term of feeding and clothing them or in general (feeding, clothing, emotional support, social support etc). Because you mentioned parenting classes, do you think a rich parent doesnt need parenting class?

Lol. I would say the super rich are the ones more in need of lessons. They're far more likely to spoil their kids rotten and leave them with pampered, entitlement attitudes.

At least poor people keep it real. Generalisng, I know but it's an observation I've made.

 

[Rhubarb Tart]

Sister, I skim-read the previous posts and picked up on terms such as education, proper environment and knife crime. Lack of a good education, an 'unproper' environment, for lack of a better word and knife-crime are all things I'd associate with individuals living in deprived areas, hence the 'making the best of a bad environment' comment.

Thanks for the explaining it.

 

[Danah]

I think in such time where people think that kids mean only food, school and clothes its a big YES!

Its sad when the victims are those poor kids who don't get a proper upbringing in all life perspectives because of ignorant parents

 

[Rhubarb Tart]

I know plenty of smart beautiful children in the poor environment describe above. Sometimes these children are being brought up with single mother or even both parent that work for them. She or both parents doesnt always have time so the children are left with the people around them. That is why you see so many consider their gang as "family". I also know some of these children that leave the gang because they managed to recieve help elsewhere like youth club or organisations.

 

[Re.TiReD]

lol I'm not a parent so feel free to correct me but I've been taught that foundations matter, so an average/rich kid vs a poor kid, lets assume correct morals are instilled in childhood, the poor kid is brought up seeing hearing about knife crime drugs and street fights, rich/average kid brough up in an okayish environment, public school, maybe private? Both sets of parents are totally useless, you'd hope that rich kid would have a better shot at life right? His upbrining has been a little more civilised than the poor kids and you never know he may just get a decent job if he doesnt end up dropping college, poor kid, he may just get through, but with the environment he grew up in he might just get pulled into a gang and spend his nights in prison. Now if the poor kids parents had classes, not necassarily parenting ones but ones to help them through and to tackle knife crime, gangster mentalities and other things you get in deprived areas, maybe he ould have been better off too?

I dont know this is a gross generalisation too feel free to correct me, I'm sure the super rich have spent many a night in a prison cell before their rich parents come to bail em out, but still. Dont know where I'm going with this so yeh.

 

[Asiyah3]

I think some parents definitely need a parenting education. Albeit as the Prophet SAAS said in a hadeeth “What can I do for you if Allaah has removed mercy from your heart?” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5652).

Your proposition may be useful for some parents, however, in practice it's nearly impossible to implement fairly and justly.