What would you ask a potential partner?

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Pomak said:
Definitely not foolproof. (eg. plenty of cave dwellers who were nice to their mums)

Anyways, what happens if the bloke doesn't get along with his mum but gets along with his sister? :P
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I'm not familiar with the phrase cave dweller, but like I said... it may not apply to everyone.

The relationship between siblings and parents is different, but what do you mean 'not get along'? Does he disrespect his mother? If he does, then there really isn't any point in marrying such a person. If that's how he treats the woman whom he is bound to respect and treat kindly, even if she disbelieves in Allaah, then what can be said of how he will treat his wife? I couldn't respect such a person.

Umm ul-Shaheed said:
i agree, but only to an extent :p
i agree with the bit where if he knows how to treat his mum/sisters, then he'll know how to treat his wife...but also I've noticed that some men that are like that, also expect their wives to love their mothers and sisters as much as their own, and his family are her family,etc and basically she barely hears and sees of her family :rollseyes
i know someone who was married to someone like that lol, alhamdulillah it ended where it did :skeleton:
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Hmmm, would he like his own sister to be prevented from being able to see their parents, siblings etc.? Some men may be like that (as I said, my example probably doesn't apply to everyone, it's just something I've witnessed around me), but from my own experience, it's the opposite. i.e., they are very hospitable with their in-laws too. Like you said, one of the hardest things for a sister is to leave her family. It would be pretty cruel to then prevent her from being able to see them whilst knowing this.

I don't know what you mean by loving his family, as no one can really love your mother the way you do, and it's a bit unfair to expect that, but she should treat her in-laws with as much respect as she'd treat her own, imho. Although, that's easy for me to say, as I've never had any trouble with my in-laws, but some people have serious problems with their in-laws. So I'm talking from a limited view point here.

Banu_Hashim said:
Welll... I think my sisters would beg to differ on that. :p
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Why?



All in all, what I was trying to say was, looking at a man's relationship with his female relatives usually provides an insight to his character towards women. For example, my brother always used to help around the house when he could, so I think he'd be able to help his wife quite a lot as he has experience with this.

Whereas with one of my friends, her husband grew up in an environment where his mother did everything for him, and he was taught that it was a shame for the men to lift a finger to help around with anything, or do anything for themselves. She feels that was a major part to play in their marriage breaking down, as he had a pretty primitive view of women, and wasn't afraid to express it.

Whilst its really sweet and loving for a mother to express how much she cares for her sons, she should also teach them how to care for their wives, and be loving towards them. I know I'd want my own sons to be caring and thoughtful husbands, and not tyrants.
 
Farashah said:
:sl:

Brothers and Sisters in Islam,

Seeing that there are quite a few marriage threads around, i'll add one...

What questions would you ask a potential partner?

This question has been on my mind for a while, and i know that it will depend on the persons but, on the whole which are questions that will help you get a better understanding of the person and his/her likes or dislikes?
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i want to ask religion based question i dont care about minor daily life habits Allah has choosen him for me so i am happy with that but i do care about his source of income it should be Halal and how much charity he gives
i won't ask any thing i am deadly nervous :embarrass
 
I would ask him what comes first and foremost in his life.
There's only one correct answer.
 
wow hafsah has tons of questions...

how about:


How do you define love?

Do you love me?

What do your parents think about me?

Will you talk to me at night before we sleep?

Do you like to be affectionate? (hugs and squishys... inside of course)
Do you know when my birthday is?

Do you believe in helping with the house work (occasionally) like surpise me by washing the coffee pot or something.

What do you want in life?

What kind of furniture do you like? (if you cant aggree on furnature (or the small stuff) you will have problems later)

Do you know what colour my eyes are (shows if he really pays attention to you)

Will you support me in a career i choose or a project i want to undertake?
 
1.Do you pray? Daily? Five Times?

2.What do you do on Friday nights?

3. Do you believe in true love?

4. Do you go to the gym?

5. Will you ever ever ever look at any female? EVERRRR (roars)

6. Will u support every single decision i make?

7. Wil u eat anything cook no matter how horrible it looks or taste?

8. Will you love me even when im old FULL STOP.

9. Will u let me go out with my muslim girlfriends (cafes, shopping, etc)

10. Will u let me work?

11. DO U DRINK?!!! U BETTER NOT!

12. Will you be the romeo to my juliet?

13. WITHOUT THE PART WHERE THEY DIE.

14. Will u comfort me when i cry?

15. Will u always apologize?

16. Be romantic?

17. Most of the time?

18. Buy me skittles?

19. Tell me i look beautiful even if im anything but that.

20. Hold me when im upset, hear me out before u shout, sweep me off my feet, love me unconditionally?


How u done...


less than 10% - dude go home u aint got a chance.

10%- NO.

20% - Maybe..............NOT.

30% - i mightve said yes - last century

50% + - yeah...depends which ones u said yes + no to.



of course, 100% would just rock...

but nobodys perfect.


Or maybe he could just act like those things n really he aint...


:skeleton:
 
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Grofica said:
Do you like to be affectionate? (hugs and squishys... inside of course)
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lol... what's a squishy ? Sounds like a de-stressing thing :p

Grofica said:
Do you know what colour my eyes are (shows if he really pays attention to you)
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Yeah but even if he wasn't for some reason paying attention to you, he could just look you in the eyes and tell you...:confused:
 
if you could be an animal which one would you be and why?

are you good with dishes? coz you'll be getting tons of them... :thumbs_up joke :D lol
 
1. You do realize I'm a convert, right?
2. You do realize I'm a convert, right?
3. You do realize I'm a convert, right?
4. You realize that I'm one of two muslims in my family, right?
(Seriously, I got almost to a nikah before a sister pulled out because she didn't think she could handle it)

5. I want to go study deen abroad, how would you feel about that?
6. Explain what you see family life being like.
7. (If she wants to work) How will this affect the home? What would your priorities be?
8. How often do you go shopping? (Materialistic women need not apply)
9. What do you see your wedding like? (Cultural /extravagant weddings are an immediate NO!)
 
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:sl: Y'all realise in laws are scarier than the actual person you'd possibly marry? :skeleton: :X
 
:sl:
How would you deal with an angry/moody wife? How do you deal with a wife you who talks back at you? Eg in a fight, etc. what if she s in the right?

do you follow a mathhab? if so how strict?

what are your goals/purposes in a marriage

How do you think a conflict betwen your wife should be resolved.

what do you think a girls relationship should be with her family once she is married? How about with her friends?

What do you think the relationship between you and your wife’s family should be namely your mother and father in law.

do you like kids? why/why not? Can you have kids? how do you, as a father-think you should treat your kids. What are your methods of discipline?

whats your social life like? Do you invite friends/family over often and if so, at what times of the day, and would I be accepted to serve them, or would you?

What should your wifes relationship with the opposite gender be, namely your brothers?

what are your spending habits like? Do like randomly buying gifts for people? What about on special occasions?

What are expecting from your wife financially. Do you support the idea of a working wife. Why/why not?

Do you have friends or know people of the opposite sex? What is ur relationship with them now? what do you think your relationship be with the opposite gender be?

define beauty and attraction. do you think its important for a woman to look good for her husband, how much effort should she put in to look nice? what about the other way around?

how long does it take you to groom yourself?


right at the end (when we both agreed to marry, id ask):
How do you think our wedding should be? Music? segregation?
 
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he he he he he

squishy is what i call it... its like when you give a huge hug to your spouse and its almost too much hug... like you feel you will be squished like a bug.... :-)
 
Na7lah said:
:sl:
How would you deal with an angry/moody wife? How do you deal with a wife you who talks back at you? Eg in a fight, etc. what if she s in the right?
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Easy question... there isnt any other moment where you should show abit of romance except when there is an argument.....spontaneity is key! my friends :D
 
I can see so many questions, but I personally can see my mind going completely blank when the time comes.
 

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