The Marriage Thread

[Beardo]

That's true. I guess I didn't think about it from that aspect.

Well Sorry, Mr. GrammarTeacher aka zAk Jr. :exhausted

Assalamu 3laykum

okay

I've sat back and watched this threat unfold so I have the best advice concerning this topic

and that is the best advice is no advice!!

You telling me you went through all 275 posts? :ermm:

 

[AhmadibnNasroon]

Well Sorry, Mr. GrammarTeacher aka zAk Jr. :exhausted



You telling me you went through all 275 posts? :ermm:

lol, yes i did; and the reason i say i have no advice is because every situation is different. Its too difficult to advise on these matters just learn about it via Quran wa Sunnah and what the ulemma/tulaab'ul 3ilm say. Then apply it and put your trust in Allah.

Trying to solve the ummah's problems where marriage is concerned is like trying to solve the rubix cube (without cheating by checking the Youtube videos on how to solve it...*just exposed myself* mg: ... )

 

[Beardo]

lol, yes i did; and the reason i say i have no advice is because every situation is different. Its too difficult to advise on these matters just learn about it via Quran wa Sunnah and what the ulemma/tulaab'ul 3ilm say. Then apply it and put your trust in Allah.

Trying to solve the ummah's problems where marriage is concerned is like trying to solve the rubix cube (without cheating by checking the Youtube videos on how to solve it...*just exposed myself* mg: ... )

*gasp* You're a ... RUBIX IMPOSTER!

But anyway, before I get this thread closed, let's steer back to marriage.

------------------

Is marrying a cousin from an overseas country a good idea? What are the pros and cons? This is actually a situation of a friend of mine who asked me for advice. :hiding:

 

[AlbanianMuslim]

Whatever happened to the good old days where people didnt expect perfection...ahh

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

One thing is for sure. You can still be ignorant even with a degree.

so true. some people have the fanciest of degrees, but are like the biggest airheads :hmm: like seriously, they are very simple minded.
i mean look at elderly people for example...mashaAllah who can match their wisdom and knowledge and they got no degrees.

You pretty much summed up my condition.
:wa:

exactly. some women come from families where their parents are divorced and so the daughters have to study and work to look after their mum, or maybe even their siblings. and also they want to work so that they can look after their parents in their old age. not everyone has sons and even if, not every son is a saali7 (righteous). is a husband obliged to financially provide for his parents in law? even if, can he himself afford it? things like this need to be taken into consideration, because you simply dont know what will happen. of course you have trust and faith in Allah, but even then, you still have to implementing the means.

Whatever happened to the good old days where people didnt expect perfection...ahh

what good old days :skeleton: men and women were only allowed to see one another after their nikah/walimah? women had to live with her in laws all her life, put up biatchy co-wives without the intervention of her husband :raging:
forced marriage statistics were no doubt at their highest. not to mention domestic violence, and the only advice she can get it " your husband is stubborn, be patient and your reward is with Allah." im telling you, she gets beaten up like an animal, openly be given that advice, despite the fact that islamically, domestic violence is a no-no.
come across a sister who is unfortunate to have grown up in a society like this, and you just have to listen to her say a word or two, to know how "conditioned" she is to it. my god, its tragic imsad

women had absolutely zero freedom and rights-not even her god given ones. perhaps even men to an extent weren't given their full rights as they were/are forced into marriage as well.

its very bizarre, last i heard there was a strong exhortation towards kind treatment of women. last i checked, Islam was/is the only religion and way of life that gives women their true rights, unlike women in other religions and cultures where she is the one working her a$$ off to feed her husband and kids (not to mention, in some cases his family as well), or is subjugated by a society that is overally obsessed the awrah of people. not only that she has no rights as wife.

 

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

so true. some people have the fanciest of degrees, but are like the biggest airheads :hmm: like seriously, they are very simple minded.
i mean look at elderly people for example...mashaAllah who can match their wisdom and knowledge and they got no degrees.

Can't argue with that! MashaAllah. They truly do have wisdom, Muslims or not.

 

[roohani.doctor]

Is marrying a cousin from an overseas country a good idea? What are the pros and cons? This is actually a situation of a friend of mine who asked me for advice. :hiding:

Personally, I would say no...because I have seen many situations where it has not worked out. Especially if your family is messed up with no common sense in the foreseeable future. People have hidden intentions. Lots of people oversees (esp in countries such as Pakistan - not tryin to offend anyone) think that once they get out 1) money grows on trees and 2) life goes according to their plan. Both dont happen unfortunately. This causes mistrust and hate.

Maybe marrying outside family oversees is a better idea. BUT if your family is perfectly sane, then cousin oversees is arright.

Honestly though, in the end, all depends on how tight you are with family.

 

[Beardo]

Personally, I would say no...because I have seen many situations where it has not worked out. Especially if your family is messed up with no common sense in the foreseeable future. People have hidden intentions. Lots of people oversees (esp in countries such as Pakistan - not tryin to offend anyone) think that once they get out 1) money grows on trees and 2) life goes according to their plan. Both dont happen unfortunately. This causes mistrust and hate.

Maybe marrying outside family oversees is a better idea. BUT if your family is perfectly sane, then cousin oversees is arright.

Honestly though, in the end, all depends on how tight you are with family.

I'd say it's a pretty close knit family. I honestly can't understand his situation because my cousins don't fit the same criteria. But from what he tells me, he seems to like her as a cousin because they study in the more American life style, English medium school, etc.

 

[CosmicPathos]

so true. some people have the fanciest of degrees, but are like the biggest airheads :hmm: like seriously, they are very simple minded.
i mean look at elderly people for example...mashaAllah who can match their wisdom and knowledge and they got no degrees.



exactly. some women come from families where their parents are divorced and so the daughters have to study and work to look after their mum.


what good old days :skeleton: men and women were only allowed to see one another after their nikah/walimah? women had to live with her in laws all her life, put up biatchy co-wives without the intervention of her husband :raging:
forced marriage statistics were no doubt at their highest. not to mention domestic violence, and the only advice she can get it " your husband is stubborn, be patient and your reward is with Allah." im telling you, she gets beaten up like an animal, openly be given that advice, despite the fact that islamically, domestic violence is a no-no.
come across a sister who is unfortunate to have grown up in a society like this, and you just have to listen to her say a word or two, to know how "conditioned" she is to it. my god, its tragic imsad

women had absolutely zero freedom and rights-not even her god given ones. perhaps even men to an extent weren't given their full rights as they were/are forced into marriage as well.

its very bizarre, last i heard there was a strong exhortation towards kind treatment of women. last i checked, Islam was/is the only religion and way of life that gives women their true rights, unlike women in other religions and cultures where she is the one working her a$$ off to feed her husband and kids (not to mention, in some cases his family as well), or is subjugated by a society that is overally obsessed the awrah of people. not only that she has no rights as wife.

Islam provided more rights to women in 7th century in comparison to other religions and cultures. In today's society, Secular democracies such as Canada provide more rights to women than Islam does or will ever do unless you erase ahadeeth and change Quran.

 

[transition?]

you have to pay for the Sheikh/nikah too?

 

[transition?]

Islam provided more rights to women in 7th century in comparison to other religions and cultures. In today's society, Secular democracies such as Canada provide more rights to women than Islam does or will ever do unless you erase ahadeeth and change Quran.

Yes, but just look at those rights. Secular governments provide women the right to sin and disobey Allah (swt). May Allah (swt) SAVE US FROM THAT.

The right to free-mix
The right to show their nudity/fitna amongst strangers
The right to drink khamar (intoxicating alcohol)

 

[Ali_008]

Thats just....Urghhh! Its a disgusting generalisation. I'm not even going to tell you why. Just think about it.

I agree, its almost like accusing Allah of creating people that aren't pious, beautiful, intelligent and sincere at the same time

That's all you want? I was thinking you forgot to mention other stuff. May Allaah bless you with a wife that is like that and better But keep in mind, are you the same for the sister like you want it from her? If you want someone like Khadijah (r.a.), you better make sure you're like the Prophet (saw). It's easy to point fingers and say stuff - but perhaps we don't find sisters like that because we're not like that ourselves? Something to think about.

The part in bold is really false generalization, not to mention completely unfair to the sisters. There are a lot of sisters who are religious, beautiful, sincere, practicing, righteous, loving, caring, etc. We need to look in the right places and the right way.

There's no such thing as perfection in this life - that's in paradise. We need to keep that in mind at all times so we don't loose someone who is right for us because we thought they weren't perfect or 'close to perfection'. You want someone who is right for you and who you are right for. If she has shortcomings, then so do we. It's a give/take relationship and we need to learn to compromise.

SubhanAllah!!! I'm not accusing anyone of anything nor are my demands unfair. I can just say that my words have been misconstrued here. Like someone mentioned above, I'll have to be Rasoolullah :saws: to find a Khadija or even an Ayesha for myself (RadhiAllahu Anhum). I'm not being an autocrat demanding the best from my partner and not thinking much about what she expects from me. No, no, no. From past experiences, I know how much it hurts when you expect from someone and they don't live up to it and because of that it'll really be hideous for me to make someone feel that same way by not living up to their expectations. Which is why I mentioned the close-to-perfection part in the end. Being a human, obviously I'd want the best for myself, but being a Muslim, I have to strive to be the best for the pleasure of Allah.

Just thought to add this as a reminder:

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Let not a believing man hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her attributes, he will be pleased with another.” (Narrated by Muslim from Abu Hurayrah, 1469).

Thanks a lot, sister, for quoting this Hadeeth. I have heard this Hadeeth before and have not forgotten it.

I'd definitely wanna be what Rasoolullah :saws: was to his wives. I don't wanna be Pharaoh, the tyrant husband of the pious Asiyah. :raging:

If I offended anyone, I'm really sorry for that.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

Islam provided more rights to women in 7th century in comparison to other religions and cultures. In today's society, Secular democracies such as Canada provide more rights to women than Islam does or will ever do unless you erase ahadeeth and change Quran.

come again? have i missed something?

Can't argue with that! MashaAllah. They truly do have wisdom, Muslims or not.

that's spot on as well...

 

[CosmicPathos]

come again? have i missed something?

everything is clear. Truth demolishes falsehood. Falsehood is that all cultures/societies repress women while Islam liberates them.

You said: its very bizarre, last i heard there was a strong exhortation towards kind treatment of women. last i checked, Islam was/is the only religion and way of life that gives women their true rights, unlike women in other religions and cultures where she is the one working her a$$ off to feed her husband and kids (not to mention, in some cases his family as well), or is subjugated by a society that is overally obsessed the awrah of people. not only that she has no rights as wife

In secular democracies such as Canada, a wife is NOT supposed to prepare food for his husband and family. She has the right to abort the leech-like fetus in her womb that she does not want. She has the right to be nude or be covered. What more rights do you want? She has the right and opportunities to pursue any career: scientist, medical doctor, physicist, astronomer, lawyer, house-wife. She is truly liberated unlike in Islam.

 

[transition?]

everything is clear. Truth demolishes falsehood. Falsehood is that all cultures/societies repress women while Islam liberates them.

You said: its very bizarre, last i heard there was a strong exhortation towards kind treatment of women. last i checked, Islam was/is the only religion and way of life that gives women their true rights, unlike women in other religions and cultures where she is the one working her a$$ off to feed her husband and kids (not to mention, in some cases his family as well), or is subjugated by a society that is overally obsessed the awrah of people. not only that she has no rights as wife

In secular democracies such as Canada, a wife is NOT supposed to prepare food for his husband and family. She has the right to abort the leech-like fetus in her womb that she does not want. She has the right to be nude or be covered. What more rights do you want? She has the right and opportunities to pursue any career: scientist, medical doctor, physicist, astronomer, lawyer, house-wife. She is truly liberated unlike in Islam.

Akhi, what are you saying?

I'd like to add on before it get confusing.
The more rights to commit haram do repress women.
All her rights only repress her state of mind and soul and doom her to Jahanam.


btw: Muslim women do have the right to pursue careers in Islam.
Plus..... Being a mother, why isn't that any less noble than a "career" sensationalized by secularists, because they are so obsessed over specific careers :/ Allah Knows why.
They praise certain careers because they are obsessed with wealth making a person but Allah (swt) honors and dishonors us.
They praise certain careers because they value scientific progress and humanities. Do they not know that mother running a family, almost an essential "career" to society. Families are the only units that truly are successful in continuing life of Earth.
Why is a doctor more honorable, does a mother and wife not tend to the sick?
Why is an engineer more honorable, does a mother and wife not tend to the care of her house (houses used to be much larger back in the day, being caretaker of a house is just like running a ranch)

Muslim women and women in secular societies have different rights, the amounts who knows.. but the importance...

Liberation to commit sin and disobey. Muslim women would rather be slaves of Allah (swt) . The Hereafter is better and longer lasting.

 

[CosmicPathos]

Akhi, what are you saying?

I'd like to add on before it get confusing.
The more rights to commit haram do repress women.
All her rights only repress her state of mind and soul and doom her to Jahanam.


btw: Muslim women do have the right to pursue careers in Islam.
Plus..... Being a mother, why isn't that any less noble than a "career" sensationalized by secularists, because they are so obsessed over specific careers :/ Allah Knows why.
They praise certain careers because they are obsessed with wealth making a person but Allah (swt) honors and dishonors us.
They praise certain careers because they value scientific progress and humanities. Do they not know that mother running a family, almost an essential "career" to society. Families are the only units that truly are successful in continuing life of Earth.
Why is a doctor more honorable, does a mother and wife not tend to the sick?
Why is an engineer more honorable, does a mother and wife not tend to the care of her house (houses used to be much larger back in the day, being caretaker of a house is just like running a ranch)

Muslim women and women in secular societies have different rights, the amounts who knows.. but the importance...

Liberation to commit sin and disobey. Muslim women would rather be slaves of Allah (swt) . The Hereafter is better and longer lasting.

If Muslim women truly have the right to pursue careers, why do not we hear about Muslim female scientists from the "golden era of Islam?"

If a Muslim woman truly has the right to pursue careers, why do not we hear of female commandos leading the army during the Rightly Guided Caliphs? After all, they can be as strong as males.

If she is truly free to choose her own destiny in Islam, why do we only hear about female religious scholars but no secular scholars (scientists, mathematicians etc) in past history of Islam?

If she is truly free to choose, why does Quran make husband the protector of "wife?" After all if she is independent and liberated, she needs NO ONE's protection as she can look after her own self?

 

[transition?]

If Muslim women truly have the right to pursue careers, why do not we hear about Muslim female scientists from the "golden era of Islam?"

If a Muslim woman truly has the right to pursue careers, why do not we hear of female commandos leading the army during the Rightly Guided Caliphs? After all, they can be as strong as males.

If she is truly free to choose her own destiny in Islam, why do we only hear about female religious scholars but no secular scholars (scientists, mathematicians etc) in past history of Islam?

If she is truly free to choose, why does Quran make husband the protector of "wife?" After all if she is independent and liberated, she needs NO ONE's protection as she can look after her own self?

If man is truly liberated, why can't he just make babies by himself?!
Why can't he just have multiple orgasms instead of one?
Allah has imposed biologically limitations, so why can He not impose social limitations (based on biologically/the way He Created us)? Of course, it would be logical to have such limitations. Allah Knows Best and is Most Just. Those "limitations" are to ensure our best life, the easiest... ISLAM IS AFTERALL GUIDANCE FOR MANKIND. He made men and women to offer a balance, complement each other.
Of course, Allah had made man with certain favors and women with certain favors. He created them both so they were for each other in a balance. He made family life the way to survive on Earth. Are they unequal? No, but they are different.

Why is that men never complain about how they can't run their family and raise the children. Ohsnap. For one reason, women have standards to what men can do. O_O. That just isn't right because we are different.
We have different hormone levels and biologically compositions...etc -_-. We are most efficient in being mothers because of our nature.. and biologically, HELLO, we can breastfeed.
Allah (swt) accounts for our difference from men and limits and advises us so. But where we are same, we have the same guidance. Alcohol has the same effect on both men and women, so He has made that forbidden. Physical appearance of women and the emotional attraction of men to women. Well Allah (swt) Has Accounted for that and made Hijab for both men and women. But He addresses the specifics in a different fashion. That would be a DUH. Why tell women to grow a beard ? lol

Do you believe security is essential to life? Well Allah Has Made is it so that Men are security for wives just as the government is security for the people.
Just tell me how many people will forsake their government so we can all be "liberated."
Unless you're an anarchist, you recognize the advantage of limiting some of your rights to have general security of the government. In the same way, a wife does to a husband. Why because just like the people choose the government what is best for them, offering them security, food ...etc. The same we don't consider government an oppressor of rights, we don't call a husband so; instead they both offer guidance and help for whom they can. :]. That is truly noble.

The wife chooses her husband as a noble companion ensuring that he will protect her and offer her certain rights, Islam has outlined, a form of rizq (sustenance) and authority (to help her and guide her to the Jannah).

Also, you're only seeing from a rights of women perspective. It also limits men because they have to be protectors as husbands, not despots. That is the nature of any obligation. It limits the right to do the opposite. O_O. We are slaves of Allah (swt).Not slaves our desires or our whims.

Successful are those who seek marriage and everything else a means to seek Allah's Pleasure and Gain Paradise! For they triumph in this world and the Hereafter. They know what little time they have on Earth and how to escape a treacherous fiery Final Abode into a Garden!

So you ask, well if the government offers that kind of security already, then why does the husband need to protection. VERILY, it's mercy that Allah (swt) has made husbands protectors. How many women get raped today when they could have had a mahram and it might have bettered the situation. The government can't be there for everyone all the time!
How nice is it that someone is willing to protect you at all times!! Would you rather have the police come to you after you've been raped or murdered or violated?


You might not hear of "scientists" because Islam does not distinguish strictly between science and Islam. Verily, the natural world is only the laws of Allah (swt).

As mother, Muslim women have the duty of teaching the basics of Islam and more. Again, you are holding the assumption that teaching/researching on the basics of Islam < researching science/being a scientist. Well you know what; Islam would argue the opposite. Most women choose to be exemplary mothers because it offers them the most good deeds. They are thinking about the Akhirah. It is out of choice and love for Allah (swt), most of them stay what with Allah (swt) Recommends. Allah Knows Best! Of the most honored women in Islam are the ones who were mothers, wives and daughters! Khadija (ra), Aisha (ra), Fatima (rad), Miryam (ra)!! Allah has made certain deeds more honorable than others!
On the Day of Judgment, deeds is all we have akhi! Some people wish to accumulate the most.


I have not gotten through answering everything but I will.

The past generations were more righteous, they knew what the ultimate goal was. It was not that they did not have the right to do lesser deeds or other deeds, but out of their own will, chose the most honorable deeds! They were much wiser.

Knowledge of this world is important. But knowledge of the Afterlife will benefit us THE MOST. Today, we know so much about the world, but this world and everything in it will perish! And we will face the Afterlife for the rest of eternity. This is reality!! Those women in the past generations knew! So they loved what Allah (swt) Loved so that Allah (swt) would Love them and extend His Mercy.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

so you are trying to wind us up. how nice. your logic is completely messed.

If Muslim women truly have the right to pursue careers, why do not we hear about Muslim female scientists from the "golden era of Islam?"

maybe they were was busy raising ulamaa? just because we haven't heard of them, where exactly is the evidence to suggest that they have no rights chasing careers? after all, im sure we had female midwives!

maybe the women at that time saw it fit to raise ulumaa, etc perhaps they had other priorities other than to chase careers. there is no evidence to suggest that just because we haven't heard of them, then it denotes they have no rights. unbelievable.

let me try find it, but i was reading something about a female Muslim dr/nurse in the earlier generations. i cant remember her name.

If a Muslim woman truly has the right to pursue careers, why do not we hear of female commandos leading the army during the Rightly Guided Caliphs? After all, they can be as strong as males.

jihad isn't obligatory for females (depends on the situation though). how do we know that these women were not in the situation were it was obligatory for her to fight?

her not being in charge does in in no way denote that she is deprived of rights, it just means in certain aspect a man is better fitted for the job. there is a difference. comprehend it!

you have to look at each situation with due measurement and wisdom. not go on a woman's right shooting spree without proper understanding.

If she is truly free to choose her own destiny in Islam, why do we only hear about female religious scholars but no secular scholars (scientists, mathematicians etc) in past history of Islam?

who are you proposing chooses her destiny for her, exactly? if she truly didn't, why does she have every right to refuse a forced marriage?

your just "crossbreeding" between 2 situation that remotely sound credible. dont isolating statements.

If she is truly free to choose, why does Quran make husband the protector of "wife?" After all if she is independent and liberated, she needs NO ONE's protection as she can look after her own self?

wow, this is certainly breaking news! i didn't know being protected by someone denotes that im not free. i didn't know that someone spending on me implied that i was incompetent of standing on my own (evidence please!). funny, i took it that i was being spoilt! (i dont have to lift a finger ooo yeah! :shade after all, what disciplines a man better then the spending of their wealth! god knows what respect (or should i say lack thereof), for women he would have if it wasn't obligatory for him to spend his hard working income on his wife!


why don't you go read the works of the past ulamaa concerning marriage and women's rights. go read the proper tafseers of the ayah's, about spending, disciplining of the wife for we all know deprivation of rights can far exceed then to be entitled to a mahr, to a roof over her head. then to have food and money bought to her without her lifting a finger. deprivation of rights can far exceed asking for divorce when needed, as well lightly "beating," disciplining her (i.e no bruising, etc).



far above Islam is to what your disgusting chauvinism attributes to it!

 

[CosmicPathos]

so you are trying to wind us up. how nice. your logic is completely messed.

maybe they were was busy raising ulamaa? just because we haven't heard of them, where exactly is the evidence to suggest that they have no rights chasing careers? after all, im sure we had female midwives!

maybe the women at that time saw it fit to raise ulumaa, etc perhaps they had other priorities other than to chase careers. there is no evidence to suggest that just because we haven't heard of them, then it denotes they have no rights. unbelievable.

let me try find it, but i was reading something about a female Muslim dr/nurse in the earlier generations. i cant remember her name.



jihad isn't obligatory for females (depends on the situation though). how do we know that these women were not in the situation were it was obligatory for her to fight?

her not being in charge does in in no way denote that she is deprived of rights, it just means in certain aspect a man is better fitted for the job. there is a difference. comprehend it!

you have to look at each situation with due measurement and wisdom. not go on a woman's right shooting spree without proper understanding.



who are you proposing chooses her destiny for her, exactly? if she truly didn't, why does she have every right to refuse a forced marriage?

your just "crossbreeding" between 2 situation that remotely sound credible. dont isolating statements.



wow, this is certainly breaking news! i didn't know being protected by someone denotes that im not free. i didn't know that someone spending on me implied that i was incompetent of standing on my own (evidence please!). funny, i took it that i was being spoilt! (i dont have to lift a finger ooo yeah! :shade after all, what disciplines a man better then the spending of their wealth! god knows what respect (or should i say lack thereof), for women he would have if it wasn't obligatory for him to spend his hard working income on his wife!


why don't you go read the works of the past ulamaa concerning marriage and women's rights. go read the proper tafseers of the ayah's, about spending, disciplining of the wife for we all know deprivation of rights can far exceed then to be entitled to a mahr, to a roof over her head. then to have food and money bought to her without her lifting a finger. deprivation of rights can far exceed asking for divorce when needed, as well lightly "beating," disciplining her (i.e no bruising, etc).



far above Islam is to what your disgusting chauvinism attributes to it!

you have failed to provide evidence for your claims, just "maybe they were raising ulaamaa." ya right. Their father's were not raising Ulama, only mothers were, eh. Last time I checked in history, fathers have been responsible for instilling in boys the "manly" qualities through out any culture, be they Kings of Rome or Tzars of Russia.

Of course I am playing a devil's advocate here but only because I do not see your hoop-laa of female rights in "Islam" any different from what a post-modern feminist would put into the interpretation of Quran. Irshad Manji, anyone?

Why is not jihad obligatory for females? Does it say so in Quran that jihad is not obligatory on females? Quran does not say that pursuing careers for females is obligatory as well. Yet you chose the relatively easier job (lets say becoming a scientist) as allowed for females but discarded participation in Jihad (which is more harder and requires guts) to males. Pardon me the commentary of scholars from which they deduce that females are forbidden to participate in Jihad. Lets just talk about Quran as we understand it from the translation.

I am sure if I apply your definition of chauvinism to Umer (ra) then he certainly appears to be so! He finds it necessary for women to draw veil on themselves but does not feel that men should rather do that?! If that is not chauvinism, as you define it, then I do not know what it is.

But of course, Umar (ra) was far above what you label as the disgusting chauvinism of the men of past and present (mine specially).

Packaging and sugar-coating Islam as the ultimate bastion of female rights would not benefit much specially when females can and do enjoy much more freedom in a secular system where there is no restriction of hijab, nor intermingling with opposite sexes.

 

[CosmicPathos]

If man is truly liberated, why can't he just make babies by himself?!
Why can't he just have multiple orgasms instead of one?
Allah has imposed biologically limitations, so why can He not impose social limitations (based on biologically/the way He Created us)? Of course, it would be logical to have such limitations. Allah Knows Best and is Most Just. Those "limitations" are to ensure our best life, the easiest... ISLAM IS AFTERALL GUIDANCE FOR MANKIND. He made men and women to offer a balance, complement each other.
Of course, Allah had made man with certain favors and women with certain favors. He created them both so they were for each other in a balance. He made family life the way to survive on Earth. Are they unequal? No, but they are different.

Why is that men never complain about how they can't run their family and raise the children. Ohsnap. For one reason, women have standards to what men can do. O_O. That just isn't right because we are different.
We have different hormone levels and biologically compositions...etc -_-. We are most efficient in being mothers because of our nature.. and biologically, HELLO, we can breastfeed.
Allah (swt) accounts for our difference from men and limits and advises us so. But where we are same, we have the same guidance. Alcohol has the same effect on both men and women, so He has made that forbidden. Physical appearance of women and the emotional attraction of men to women. Well Allah (swt) Has Accounted for that and made Hijab for both men and women. But He addresses the specifics in a different fashion. That would be a DUH. Why tell women to grow a beard ? lol

Do you believe security is essential to life? Well Allah Has Made is it so that Men are security for wives just as the government is security for the people.
Just tell me how many people will forsake their government so we can all be "liberated."
Unless you're an anarchist, you recognize the advantage of limiting some of your rights to have general security of the government. In the same way, a wife does to a husband. Why because just like the people choose the government what is best for them, offering them security, food ...etc. The same we don't consider government an oppressor of rights, we don't call a husband so; instead they both offer guidance and help for whom they can. :]. That is truly noble.

The wife chooses her husband as a noble companion ensuring that he will protect her and offer her certain rights, Islam has outlined, a form of rizq (sustenance) and authority (to help her and guide her to the Jannah).

Also, you're only seeing from a rights of women perspective. It also limits men because they have to be protectors as husbands, not despots. That is the nature of any obligation. It limits the right to do the opposite. O_O. We are slaves of Allah (swt).Not slaves our desires or our whims.

Successful are those who seek marriage and everything else a means to seek Allah's Pleasure and Gain Paradise! For they triumph in this world and the Hereafter. They know what little time they have on Earth and how to escape a treacherous fiery Final Abode into a Garden!

So you ask, well if the government offers that kind of security already, then why does the husband need to protection. VERILY, it's mercy that Allah (swt) has made husbands protectors. How many women get raped today when they could have had a mahram and it might have bettered the situation. The government can't be there for everyone all the time!
How nice is it that someone is willing to protect you at all times!! Would you rather have the police come to you after you've been raped or murdered or violated?


You might not hear of "scientists" because Islam does not distinguish strictly between science and Islam. Verily, the natural world is only the laws of Allah (swt).

As mother, Muslim women have the duty of teaching the basics of Islam and more. Again, you are holding the assumption that teaching/researching on the basics of Islam < researching science/being a scientist. Well you know what; Islam would argue the opposite. Most women choose to be exemplary mothers because it offers them the most good deeds. They are thinking about the Akhirah. It is out of choice and love for Allah (swt), most of them stay what with Allah (swt) Recommends. Allah Knows Best! Of the most honored women in Islam are the ones who were mothers, wives and daughters! Khadija (ra), Aisha (ra), Fatima (rad), Miryam (ra)!! Allah has made certain deeds more honorable than others!
On the Day of Judgment, deeds is all we have akhi! Some people wish to accumulate the most.


I have not gotten through answering everything but I will.

The past generations were more righteous, they knew what the ultimate goal was. It was not that they did not have the right to do lesser deeds or other deeds, but out of their own will, chose the most honorable deeds! They were much wiser.

Knowledge of this world is important. But knowledge of the Afterlife will benefit us THE MOST. Today, we know so much about the world, but this world and everything in it will perish! And we will face the Afterlife for the rest of eternity. This is reality!! Those women in the past generations knew! So they loved what Allah (swt) Loved so that Allah (swt) would Love them and extend His Mercy.

please teach that to Ummu Sufyaan. I am only playing a devil's advocate here.