Frustrations in getting married

hmm y im still single cuz paki ppl hav gone crazy they don't want to marry a gurl who wears hijab n covers her face with a veil...

there r alot of probs hea, ppl want big weddings lots of dowry(dahej) from the gurl's side duno y ppl r so greedy i mean they can afford a big wedding buh still asking for stuff frm the gurls side and so many bidaats they just can't leave they're customs n traditions can't leave mehndi and mayon (those who know urdu would understand).

marriages just arnt according to sunnah anymore...

ppl just dun want to get married according to the sunnah its sad

oh and if u don't hav a fair complexion ppl won't like you :p weird :s
 
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Periwinkle you've correctly depicted the mindset of the people where we live, its pathetic to say the least..A few days ago we met somebody, and the grandmother of these people asked me to take off my shoes so that she could measure my height. I was furious, BUT since I'm a girl, I'm expected to behave well and deal with the demands of an obnoxious potential family.

To top it with insolence, when I expressed my concern over such a blatant display of superficial standards, the guy actually said 'oh you should be glad I'm considering you, previously I wouldn't even consider anyone below 5' 9 (in height), in your case i'm making an exception.' Reality: his own mother is half my size, Astaghfirullah, I would've pointed it out, but I'm too polite to dignify such a ruffian with an even better response to his bakwas,:raging:

How do these mothers raise these kids, and how can they even call such loosers as their sons? with idiots like these who needs donkeys or even kuffar for that matter, the ummah is torn to the tilth from within, no wonder this country is gifted with chaos upon chaos and people still act deaf dumb, blind and utterly stupid.
 
A few days ago we met somebody, and the grandmother of these people asked me to take off my shoes so that she could measure my height.

To top it with insolence, when I expressed my concern over such a blatant display of superficial standards, the guy actually said 'oh you should be glad I'm considering you, previously I wouldn't even consider anyone below 5' 9 (in height), in your case i'm making an exception.'

;D

what on earth? please tell me this wasn't in UK
 
As'Salaamu Alaaykum

I totally agree!

I noticed this is happening mainly because people have not been brought being taught any of this..and some of those who have don't want to implement any of it. Knowledge is being lost amongst some generations and culture and desires are considered, much of what world of today promotes.

The Halaal is made easy while the haraam is not..A halaal act gains one numerous amounts of reward and benefit while a haraam takes a almost a few secs to do, but takes almost a lifetime to resolve.

The haraam things have become the norms in today's society, like taking sheesha, or having gf/bf relationships, swearing and the whole lot of other rubbish, sadly, this is actually amongst muslims aswell.

It's a sad reality but I believe marriage will have it's hardships..

may Allaah SWT grant you both pious spouses, and grant you both happiness in this dunya and akhirah, Aameen.
 
Periwinkle you've correctly depicted the mindset of the people where we live, its pathetic to say the least..A few days ago we met somebody, and the grandmother of these people asked me to take off my shoes so that she could measure my height. I was furious, BUT since I'm a girl, I'm expected to behave well and deal with the demands of an obnoxious potential family.

To top it with insolence, when I expressed my concern over such a blatant display of superficial standards, the guy actually said 'oh you should be glad I'm considering you, previously I wouldn't even consider anyone below 5' 9 (in height), in your case i'm making an exception.' Reality: his own mother is half my size, Astaghfirullah, I would've pointed it out, but I'm too polite to dignify such a ruffian with an even better response to his bakwas,:raging:

How do these mothers raise these kids, and how can they even call such loosers as their sons? with idiots like these who needs donkeys or even kuffar for that matter, the ummah is torn to the tilth from within, no wonder this country is gifted with chaos upon chaos and people still act deaf dumb, blind and utterly stupid.

OMG they made u take ur shoes off!!!

once sum ladies came to look at my older sis n my mum told them tht she does sharai pardah so the ladies said yeah we know our son has a sharai beard n then mum told them she wants her daughter to get married according to the sunnah n they're like what religion r u following you guys r comming up with a new kind of islam and tht giving the dowry is important n stuff. i hate such greedy kind of ppl....

arghhh i don't feel like getting married now we've got nth buh losers left hea now... Alhumdulillah im single n happy :D
 
Periwinkle you've correctly depicted the mindset of the people where we live, its pathetic to say the least..A few days ago we met somebody, and the grandmother of these people asked me to take off my shoes so that she could measure my height. I was furious, BUT since I'm a girl, I'm expected to behave well and deal with the demands of an obnoxious potential family.

To top it with insolence, when I expressed my concern over such a blatant display of superficial standards, the guy actually said 'oh you should be glad I'm considering you, previously I wouldn't even consider anyone below 5' 9 (in height), in your case i'm making an exception.' Reality: his own mother is half my size, Astaghfirullah, I would've pointed it out, but I'm too polite to dignify such a ruffian with an even better response to his bakwas,

How do these mothers raise these kids, and how can they even call such loosers as their sons? with idiots like these who needs donkeys or even kuffar for that matter, the ummah is torn to the tilth from within, no wonder this country is gifted with chaos upon chaos and people still act deaf dumb, blind and utterly stupid.
There are many mothers in Indonesia who try to find a wife for their sons. But they will not measure that girl height because they know their sons have eyes and can estimate how tall that girl is. And those mothers will not hesitate to slap their sons' mouth if their sons say like that guy said to you.

Dignity is something that maintained well by people in my place. And dignity is not measured by wealth, or by descendant line, but by how able someone to maintain manner and etiquette. And have an arrogant son who cannot maintain manner and etiquette will tear down their dignity because people will see them as parents who do not have manner and etiquette too.

Ulama in my place always teach people that in front of Allah, there's no rich people there's no poor people, there's no kings there's no slaves. The only thing that differentiate between one person and another person is Ahlaq.

When I was young, sometime my mother told me that I am handsome. Sometime my sisters told me, there must be girls who liked me. But my mother and other people around me never taught me that I could get any woman that I like easily.

No!. Even my mother and my aunties taught me the opposite lessons. In example, if I neglected a duty, my mother or my aunty told me "If you don't have responsibility, no girl will marry you". They taught me to see the reality that getting married is not easy because girls could reject guys that they do not want to marry.

I knew, I could propose marriage to any woman that I want, but I also knew, there's no guarantee the woman who I wanted to marry will accept me. I knew, I was a good looking guy and came from middle class family. But I also knew, there were many other guys who were more handsome and richer than me.

I knew, above a sky, there's another sky. That's what older people around me taught me.

Frankly, if I am in that guy position I would not tell you "'oh you should be glad I'm considering you, previously I wouldn't even consider anyone below 5' 9, in your case i'm making an exception", because I know, you will reply with "do you think I want to have a husband like you?".

Alhamdulillah, I am not that guy. I am just a husband who live happily with a beautiful wife and two cute sons.
 
:sl:

Is.... is it really that bad for some sisters? :omg:

That sounds like something out of a bad movie.

Yeah, you know what, I think you're better off staying single, sisters.
 
Is.... is it really that bad for some sisters?

this is nth there r alot of stories :P In my community gurls get married early around 17 or 18 and if u've crossed 20 its hard for u to get married...

may Allah giv hidayyah to everyone ameen and i hope they stop dng all those silly things i srsly dont like gng to weddings now.
 
this is nth there r alot of stories :P In my community gurls get married early around 17 or 18 and if u've crossed 20 its hard for u to get married...

may Allah giv hidayyah to everyone ameen and i hope they stop dng all those silly things i srsly dont like gng to weddings now.

I have a lot of friends I went to school with that got married young, at 18/19/20 years old. Not all of them are still together today.

I used to lament the fact that I was still single in my 30's, but now, I don't really care. I figure God will send me a sister if I am meant to be with anyone.
 
There's someone out there for you - You are meant to be with her, and she with you... I believe that totally. You're too humble to not be married, Masha-Allah :)

Scimi
 
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There's someone out there for you - You are meant to be with her, and she with you... I believe that totally. You're too humble to not be married, Masha-Allah :)

Scimi

Well you know that I have been corresponding with a sister, and we are thinking about getting married soon, inshallah. I can't really say more than that for the moment though.
 
must b pakistan

well not different from UK where girls are married based on size of their upper and lower curves.

I think such things are necessary.

A woman wants to marry a good looking well established guy.

a man wants to marry a tall and beautiful womans. Really, goes both ways.
 
Periwinkle you've correctly depicted the mindset of the people where we live, its pathetic to say the least..A few days ago we met somebody, and the grandmother of these people asked me to take off my shoes so that she could measure my height. I was furious, BUT since I'm a girl, I'm expected to behave well and deal with the demands of an obnoxious potential family.

To top it with insolence, when I expressed my concern over such a blatant display of superficial standards, the guy actually said 'oh you should be glad I'm considering you, previously I wouldn't even consider anyone below 5' 9 (in height), in your case i'm making an exception.' Reality: his own mother is half my size, Astaghfirullah, I would've pointed it out, but I'm too polite to dignify such a ruffian with an even better response to his bakwas,:raging:

How do these mothers raise these kids, and how can they even call such loosers as their sons? with idiots like these who needs donkeys or even kuffar for that matter, the ummah is torn to the tilth from within, no wonder this country is gifted with chaos upon chaos and people still act deaf dumb, blind and utterly stupid.

This is what I'm on about, the whole shopping for a product attitude, its not nice at all.
 
a man wants to marry a tall and beautiful womans.
I know few older men who married beautiful but uneducated women. Later they feel disappointed and married again with educated women who actually not beautiful.

There is a different between physical beauty and good appearance. Physical beauty is something that owned since someone born. Good appearance is something that could be created. Those uneducated women are physically beautiful, but they could not maintain their appearance and that made them look bad. I have seen them, they look like maid in the house, not a wife.

Different than women who are not physically beautiful but able to maintain their appearance, they will look good. And appearance is not only how to dress, but includes attitude like how to speak.

I have read few complains about "my wife is not beautiful", but from descriptions that written by those husbands, I made a conclusion, what made them felt uncomfortable was not their wives physical beauty, but their wives lack of ability to maintain appearance.
 
I know few older men who married beautiful but uneducated women. Later they feel disappointed and married again with educated women who actually not beautiful.

There is a different between physical beauty and good appearance. Physical beauty is something that owned since someone born. Good appearance is something that could be created. Those uneducated women are physically beautiful, but they could not maintain their appearance and that made them look bad. I have seen them, they look like maid in the house, not a wife.

Different than women who are not physically beautiful but able to maintain their appearance, they will look good. And appearance is not only how to dress, but includes attitude like how to speak.

I have read few complains about "my wife is not beautiful", but from descriptions that written by those husbands, I made a conclusion, what made them felt uncomfortable was not their wives physical beauty, but their wives lack of ability to maintain appearance.

wsalam

I meant confident highly educated beautiful women, who go to gym and maintain themselves.
 
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A few days ago we met somebody, and the grandmother of these people asked me to take off my shoes so that she could measure my height.

Unbelievable..subhanallah!!

No wonder our ummah are in such a sorry state when these kinds of things are happening :(
 
There is nothing wrong with people have specific preferences when it comes to picking a spouse.....especially for a woman. You are stuck with him forever if he refuses to divorce you. :phew
 

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