Assalamu alaykum
That term, al wala wal bara, loving and hating for the sake of Allah swt, is an extremely broad term. It applies to practically everything, we should hold fast to all that that is pleasing to Allah swt, and withdrawing from all that which is displeasing to Him.
In terms of jihad, if you read through the conditions of jihad which are closely regulated by Shariah law, then we are only allowed to attack others when we are being attacked or in fear of it. Islam is an extremely merciful religion, to kill anyone for no reason is a grave sin, however it is also a practical deen so pacifism wouldn't do, so we are only allowed to take part in war through self-defence. And even then, we are forbidden from killing non-combatants, or monks, or women, children and the elderly...there are so many strict guidelines regarding jihad subhanAllah.
As for how we should be with non-Muslims, the Qur'an uses the term awliya when cautioning us, this word has many levels of meanings and in this context I read some scholars say means a very, very close friend or teacher or guardian, whom we would take spiritual advice from - which should obviously only be from a Muslim. The Prophet (pbuh) was very polite and merciful when with non-Muslims - if we had no contact with them then how on earth would we be able to give dawah for our beautiful religion?
The Qur'anic ayats need to be taken into context - context is very important. Islam is a religion of mercy and compassion, we must be compassionate to even birds and creatures let alone other humans, unfortunately it is portrayed often as a religion of jihad and warfare. We should be focusing more in the greater Jihad inshaAllah, any desires and flaws we see within ourselves.
I'm not a scholar obviously, just a lay person, but I remember reading an article on this - inshaAllah I'll try and find it to give a more scholarly review.
you got a point, I think. Yes there is Jihad by the sword, but that doesn't mean I go and take an AK-47 and kill kuffar around the block In the name of Islam - not Islamic.
Cuz you can't just kill people. Many seem to kill people and label it Jihad. Killing civilians or taking Jihad under your control, as laymen, ain't our job. Afaik.
Serinity my bro,
I understand the pain in having Islam slandered
but you also must remember that this has been going on since the life of the Prophet SAW.
And during his SAW's life, the Quraysh's insults were not enough to warrant a war, or any killing.
The Muslims at the time went to battle when we were attacked, or provoked to war.
Even after as the Islamic Empire expanded, we did not kill the nonbelievers on the basis of theirnon-belief or whether their words were insulting or not, but rather whether they accepted rule under the Muslims with Jizya or not.
The nonbelievers were allowed to retain their religions and even allowed to retain their laws as long as they complied to their alliance under Muslim rule.
Even when Muhammad SAW, conquered Makkah, the pagans of Makkah who had treated the Muslims so terribly and Muhammad SAW so mercilessly were worried about how the Muslims would act. Muhammad SAW, never considered their past offensive words or actions, and treated them with mercy, and they accepted Islam by the drives thereafter.
However when we are in battle, in the midst of a war, then we have to be steadfast and go through with all the necessary actions, and there are verses and Hadith addressing that, but even then the Muslims treated their enemies with fairness and respect.
We are not the ones to judge hearts.
Our purpose is to worship Allah alone, invite to Islam, and defend Islam through our behaviour deeds and actions, but we have no right to go about killing with vigilante justice without any governing body and scholarly analysis.
Whenever we feel confused we must seek Guidance from Allah, and look to the life, actions, and character of Muhammad SAW.