Opposite Gender Concerns

  • Thread starter Thread starter Danish
  • Start date Start date
  • Replies Replies 538
  • Views Views 58K
Re: brother walkin me home? allowed?

:sl: sis..

actually reminds me of story of 'barseesah'... the practising jew who was asked to lookafter a woman while her bros where on a journey.... might wanna look it up.

when you finish reading, the answer is obvious inshalah, better not, if u hav to go on ur own.. just do tahseen (read ayat ul kursi, muwidhaat and 'aoothu bilahi min shari maa khalaq)... n ull b safe inshalah even with no1 accompanying u :D

:w:
 
Re: brother walkin me home? allowed?

:sl: thanks brothers and sisters, nope there arent any sisters that i can walk home with, the place at night time is dangerous and his intentions are good hes truly into the religion i dont know i am going to read that story of barsehaa then think about it again jazakallah:w:
 
Re: brother walkin me home? allowed?

Assalamu Aleykum,

Am abit amazed, so instead of a sister walking with a brother, the sister should walk alone at 10 pm in a dangerous area?

I do understand that men and women should not be alone together, but what is in this situation the lesser evil? This is why I suggest the sister to ask someone of knowledge because in my view, I think that walking with the brother may be allowed in order to avoid anything like rape or robbery from non-Muslim.

But walking with the brother would mean something like the way Ai'sha was accompanied by that man, he didnt say a word to her, and he didnt look at her, he held the camel thing and walked head until they reached their place.

I do agree that it could lead to the guy being tempted, but if you keep to certain rules, i.e. him walking abit far from you, him not talking to you, him not looking at you, then I would let my daughter do that, for the simple case that it's a neccesasity.

But again, I urge you to ask a scholar, there are many a great site, the above was my personal view, and not a view to be held to be right since Im a mere baby Muslim, a lay man, so I ask you insha'Allah to ask a person of knowledge


EDIT: Or you could just not go to the place of knowledge.

Plus, is it even allowed for a sister to walk alone in the dark and at night and so on?
 
Last edited:
Re: brother walkin me home? allowed?

:salamext:

read the story of Qarun aswell !! The devils deception takes time but it definitly grasps almost anyone who doesnt follow the halal way !

May Allah guide us sis and protect us from the shayateen !

:wasalamex
 
Re: brother walkin me home? allowed?

Prehaps someone can elaborate, but I came across this Hadith which seems to allow a women to travel with a man if the circumstances are necessary:

Asma bint Abu Abkr said: "I used to bring, on my head, fruit kernels from the land which the Prophet (peace be upon him) had given to Al Zubair [her husband]. That land was at a distance of three farsakhs (about ten miles). One day I was on my way home with a load on my head when I met the Prophet with a number of Ansar. the Prophet (peace be upon him) asked me to ride, behind him on the camel, but I felt shy of joining the company of men. The Prophet (peace be upon him) realized that I was feeling shy and, therefore, continued his journey without me. Later I came to Al Zubair and told him how I met the Prophet (peace be upon him) with a company of Ansars, and how I declined his offer when he bade the camel to kneel so that I might ride behind him. I told Al Zubair I felt shy and remembered your jealousy over your self-respect and honor. On hearing that account Al Zubar said, 'By God, your carrying fruit kernels is far more distressing for me than riding the camel with the Prophet'. (Bukhari).
 
Re: brother walkin me home? allowed?

Mixing is even dangerous for pious people with good intentions. It is not a rule that is meant only to disarm those with bad intentions. It is meant to make things easier for people with good intentions by taking away opportunities of temptation. SO even if it is only with good intentions, don't do it.
I remember this story, three brothers have to go to war and they have a sister but noone to take care of her. So they ask an old man which is very pious if he cold look after her. First the old man refuses because he is afraid of getting tempted. But after a while he thinks, well it's with good intention only to help them out, so it should be ok. He lives in a tower in the upper rooms and gives the sister a room al the way down. Three times a day he comes down with food places it in the halway, quickly runs upstairs and yells that diner is sevred while he is halfway up the stairs so that by the time she opens the door he is already upstairs. After a while he thinks, maybe it's better to place it on her doorstep so she doesn't have to come outside. That would be easier, she wouldn't have to come outside, but only open the door and take the food in. He also gives her some books to read because he thinks she will get very lonely and bored in her room. After a while he starts thinking maybe I should try give her dinner without running and yelling she must get so lonly and the only voice she ever hears is me yelling so I should try not to yell. So he places it at the doorstep and alerts her of the food and then walks up his stairs. After she has read most of his books he thinks she must by now be really lonely maybe I should talk to her just a lil bit from the other side of the door. Just ask if everything's ok and if she's doing alright. After a while he starts to think everytime she opens the door to take the food people passing on the street can see her so maybe I should open the door without, place the food inside without looking and then leave. After a while as he opens the door he hears her crying out of lonlyness so he goes inside to talk to her to comfort her because he feels so bad for her being "imprisoned" in that room for so long. The story goes on like this for a couple more pages but I think you get the idea by now, eventually he get's her pregnant and kills her out of remorse all because of these "good intentions" that lead him to inapropriate situations.
 
Re: brother walkin me home? allowed?

All points aside...

She needs accompany of someone who can protect her at night... 2 sisters walking late at night is just as bad as a single sister.

She needs someone who has a car... so she can be dropped in front of her house... Thats the only solution... even if there is a pack of sisters traveling... one by one they will all go to their houses and at the end there will be a single one left again. Car provides a bit of protection.... and of course seek protection from Allah as well.

May Allah protect us all from evil of this world. Ameen.
 
Re: brother walkin me home? allowed?

steve said:
Mixing is even dangerous for pious people with good intentions. It is not a rule that is meant only to disarm those with bad intentions. It is meant to make things easier for people with good intentions by taking away opportunities of temptation. SO even if it is only with good intentions, don't do it.
I remember this story, three brothers have to go to war and they have a sister but noone to take care of her. So they ask an old man which is very pious if he cold look after her. First the old man refuses because he is afraid of getting tempted. But after a while he thinks, well it's with good intention only to help them out, so it should be ok. He lives in a tower in the upper rooms and gives the sister a room al the way down. Three times a day he comes down with food places it in the halway, quickly runs upstairs and yells that diner is sevred while he is halfway up the stairs so that by the time she opens the door he is already upstairs. After a while he thinks, maybe it's better to place it on her doorstep so she doesn't have to come outside. That would be easier, she wouldn't have to come outside, but only open the door and take the food in. He also gives her some books to read because he thinks she will get very lonely and bored in her room. After a while he starts thinking maybe I should try give her dinner without running and yelling she must get so lonly and the only voice she ever hears is me yelling so I should try not to yell. So he places it at the doorstep and alerts her of the food and then walks up his stairs. After she has read most of his books he thinks she must by now be really lonely maybe I should talk to her just a lil bit from the other side of the door. Just ask if everything's ok and if she's doing alright. After a while he starts to think everytime she opens the door to take the food people passing on the street can see her so maybe I should open the door without, place the food inside without looking and then leave. After a while as he opens the door he hears her crying out of lonlyness so he goes inside to talk to her to comfort her because he feels so bad for her being "imprisoned" in that room for so long. The story goes on like this for a couple more pages but I think you get the idea by now, eventually he get's her pregnant and kills her out of remorse all because of these "good intentions" that lead him to inapropriate situations.
Click to expand...

That's the rough story of baseerah I believ as lolwhatever mentioned.

I think here it is not a case of whether it is ok for people to be together because they feel strong enough, as I said, it is a case of the lesser evil as such, and doing something out of neccesity.

For example, a male is not meanto touch a non-mahram female, right? But what if a bus is coming and is about to hit the sister, can he touch her? I think he would because of the neccesity. Also, although not as dramatic, would it be better that the sister walks alone at 10 pm in a dark place which is dangerous, in which her being by herself would expose her to many harms? Or would it be better if a brother maybe walks 5 steps ahead of her, avoids eye contact and conversation and escorts her, so that at least his presence might deter some men from trying anything, and if they do at least he'd be there to help.
 
Re: brother walkin me home? allowed?

I would advise ya to stay away from it inshAllah. just order a taxi :D Brep brep...
Gud luck sis, & mashAllah @ tha rest of the advises ...Slm
 
Re: brother walkin me home? allowed?

maybe walks 5 steps ahead of her, avoids eye contact and conversation and escorts her, so that at least his presence might deter some men from trying anything, and if they do at least he'd be there to help.
Click to expand...

Great advice.
 
Re: brother walkin me home? allowed?

anonymous said:
I would advise ya to stay away from it inshAllah. just order a taxi :D Brep brep...
Gud luck sis, & mashAllah @ tha rest of the advises ...Slm
Click to expand...

Ordering a taxi, meaning being in close proximaty with a stranger, who can drive you anywhere at night. Come on thats even worse, since taxi drivers might start conversations which may lead to other things, where as if you have a brother who is trusted highly then it is very unlikely that he'd try that.
 
Re: brother walkin me home? allowed?

Not long back I would have adamantly said absolutly no way should a sister walk alone with a brother. But, something made me reconsider. Circumstances of danger may necessitate it. The thing that needs to be seen is how much danger would the sister be in if she is alone. What type of area will she need to pass through?

If there is clear and present danger, is it not the duty of a brother to offer protection to a sister? If there is true danger and not just the desire for company I think the advice offered above is the best choice.

maybe walks 5 steps ahead of her, avoids eye contact and conversation and escorts her, so that at least his presence might deter some men from trying anything, and if they do at least he'd be there to help.
Click to expand...

Just my opinion Astragfirullah
 
Re: brother walkin me home? allowed?

IsaAbdullah said:
Ordering a taxi, meaning being in close proximaty with a stranger, who can drive you anywhere at night. Come on thats even worse, since taxi drivers might start conversations which may lead to other things, where as if you have a brother who is trusted highly then it is very unlikely that he'd try that.
Click to expand...

Not all taxi drivers are potentially dangerous criminals or peadophiles even :rollseyes
well its better than walking with some guy in the pitch black right?
Allahu alim
slm
 
Re: brother walkin me home? allowed?

:sl: May I add this brother doesnt even look at me when he talkz to me and hes well know for being very decent. so iz not just any1. but isha allah i think i might let him walk me home i wouldnt normally but i trust him:w:
 
Re: brother walkin me home? allowed?

as salaamu alaikum:
if you check in the quran regarding the story of musa (as) after he killed the
man and fled, he water the flock for the two sisters. when the sisters returned
home early the father (nabi shuaib alaihe salaam) told one of the girls to bring
musa (as) back so he could reward him. when the girl met up with musa (as) and
took him him, he walked in front of her. when ever she wanted to change
direction she would throw a rock in front of him and he would turn in that
direction.
so yes it is better for the man to go ahead, and it is proven in the quran. it's
not fatwa but it is advisable as it is the sunnah of one of the prophets


my guess is it wud be ok because the safety of our sisters is more important and if theres no fear of zina or anything haram happening then inshallah it shud be ok.

my friend came to my house once n she had to go n teach at the madressa which is about 10 mins away and it was dark n shes extremely practicing and covers fully, hands and face. and she needed some one to drop her off cuz n we dnt have a car so i told my husband to drop her off n walk well ahead of her because i didnt want the sister to be walking on her own in the dark in a shady area, its too dangerous.

im sure it wud be ok.
 
Re: brother walkin me home? allowed?

:sl:

^But with Musa pbuh it was a desperate matter! He had been travelling alone for how long in severe conditions, and he didnt have any other way to get there.

I dont know, too me it doesnt seem right to extrapolate that story to this situation.

Not all taxi drivers are potentially dangerous criminals or peadophiles even
well its better than walking with some guy in the pitch black right?
Click to expand...

I actually would have thought being alone with a practising brother in the street at night with him walking a good distance ahead and lower his gaze would have been better than being alone with a taxi driver. :?

But anyway thats just my personal opinion...
 
Last edited:
Re: brother walkin me home? allowed?

anonymous said:
Not all taxi drivers are potentially dangerous criminals or peadophiles even :rollseyes
well its better than walking with some guy in the pitch black right?
Allahu alim
slm
Click to expand...

ok here's the comparison:

Taxi Driver - Known Muslim Brother

Unknown - Known
Non-Muslim (probably) - Muslim
Might Look At Her - Doesn't look at her when they talk
Might try to speak to her - Might try but will keep quiet if she says she dont want to talk


The list can go on and on, the fact is, who should we trust, a taxi driver who we dont know who could be a non-muslim with no moral or a Muslim brother who is known and who does not look at her and so forth.

"well its better than walking with some guy in the pitch black right?"

As for that, then thats the same with the Taxi Driver, but with the taxi driver your driving around in the middle of the night.
 
Re: brother walkin me home? allowed?

:sl:

^Exaclty, and if the brother tries something shifty, you can run, but you cant run anywhere when youre in a car.
 

Similar Threads

Back
Top