The Marriage Thread

[tw009]

Nikah is what legally (in Allah's eyes) makes you husband and wife, i.e. the process that marries you.

This happens with:

1) Mutual agreement (offer and acceptance or ijab-o-qubool) by the bride and the groom
2) Two sane adult witnesses
3) Mahr (marriage-gift) to be paid by the groom to the bride either immediately (muajjal) or deferred (muakhkhar), or a combination of both
4) Legal guardian (Wali) representing the bride
6) Someone to marry you.

doesn't the groom need a legal guardian to represent him?

 

[aadil77]

i Just strongly disagree that u could blame another person for your behaviour

What behaviour are you on about? I think you've misunderstood my posts

 

[★ηαѕιнα★]

^You're not even married!

Yeah wanted to say the same thing!;D

Nikah is what legally (in Allah's eyes) makes you husband and wife, i.e. the process that marries you.

This happens with:

1) Mutual agreement (offer and acceptance or ijab-o-qubool) by the bride and the groom
2) Two sane adult witnesses
3) Mahr (marriage-gift) to be paid by the groom to the bride either immediately (muajjal) or deferred (muakhkhar), or a combination of both
4) Legal guardian (Wali) representing the bride
6) Someone to marry you.

Note that Islamically speaking, other than the husband paying his wife dowry, or the bride's parents giving her a few gifts for her new home if they wish, there is no other expense ore meal associated with nikah, such as hiring halls, inviting a hundred guests, photography etc. This is the day the parents give their daughter away, they are not expected to have to spend lots of money on top of that.

Public announcement of this is allowed in Islam by playing the duff (bangle-less tambourine) and with singing. (This activity happens only amongst the women, where no male can see or hear).

Waleemah - This is THE wedding feast. This is a stressed sunnah, and the strongest opinion is that it is obligatory. This takes place very soon after the nikah. It can be simple, and can have no meat if not afforded, but depends on the economic situation of the groom, as he pays for it totally (the bride's family have no part in the cost for this). If he can afford it, then obviously he can spend more on it. Family, friends, neighbours and the less well off should be invited.

OK didnt know that. So the groom has to pay everything. I only have to say "Yes"?
Very interesting indeed rubbing her hands with dollar signs in the eyes ;D Just kiddin'

 

[Insaanah]

doesn't the groom need a legal guardian to represent him?

No. Not at all. Although his family is obviously involved, and should be, in most situations. But legally, he does not need a guardian to marry him. So a girls wali can marry him, with the girls consent, to his daughter etc without his parents being involved. But it is good manners to involve them. A girl needs a guardian to oversee things for her for her own protection, to make sure that she does not get taken advantage of, duped etc. Even if she is independent and thinks she is able to deal with these things, a wali is still required.

 

[aadil77]

Yeah but saying that u will find alot of muslims in the west dressing just the same so u cant even talk about the non muslims

Its not just about the dressing sis its about the whole bringing up on islam and proper islamic tarbiyyah. No non-muslim parent will go through this duty especially if they're not muslim themselves and they're seperated from the muslim partner.

 

[S<Chowdhury]

Re: 100 Premarital Questions

Sounds like you took that right out of the dictionary;D

LOL I did take it out of dictionary, if i described it the way i usually do you'mite confused plus some of those words I'd use arn't meant for this forum anyway :statisfie

 

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

Most of you are making 'the marriage' sounds harder... lol

Just imagine for those who are reluctant to get married reading this thread... lol

Seriously. Sometimes for marriage you just need to chill and not over think it (coming from someone who's been there and done the over thinking). The right person will come along and you'll meet them and things will click insha'Allaah. Just make lots of dua' and ask Allaah for it. :happy:

 

[Cabdullahi]

Seriously. Sometimes for marriage you just need to chill and not over think it (coming from someone who's been there and done the over thinking). The right person will come along and you'll meet them and things will click insha'Allaah. Just make lots of dua' and ask Allaah for it. :happy:

I've reached the same conclusion as you brother!

 

[zakirs]

My friend said once, non muslims boys talk and gossip about girls.Muslim boys talk and gossip about marriage and he sees no diff in it.imsad

Pardon me if i am wrong

 

[★ηαѕιнα★]

My friend said once, non muslims boys talk and gossip about girls.Muslim boys talk and gossip about marriage and he sees no diff in it.imsad

Pardon me if i am wrong

How can you gossip about marriage??
Dont see that really.

And do not agree with you bro Muraad and Abdullahi. When you dont overthink it you will risk the chance of doing something without being ready for it. You will not know what you will get yourself into. Like those young couples who fall in love and the next week the are secretly married. What didnt they do: overthink the situation and themselves. So..

 

[Cabdullahi]

How can you gossip about marriage??
Dont see that really.

And do not agree with you bro Muraad and Abdullahi. When you dont overthink it you will risk the chance of doing something without being ready for it. You will not know what you will get yourself into. Like those young couples who fall in love and the next week the are secretly married. What didnt they do: overthink the situation and themselves. So..

So you want us to just think about it all day? i can't do that and if i do it will occupy 95% of my brain resources thats a heavy load SON!

i have to let go at some point...but i can't leave lovey dovey

aaargh my brain :heated:

 

[★ηαѕιнα★]

^^ No I didnt mean every day. You just have to overthink your situation and what it means to be married. You have to calculate whether you are ready and know every duty you will have once you are married. You will be responsable for the other person. Like someone on this thread said there is no I in We. That means you will have less personal space and you just cant neglect your dutys when you dont feel like it since it will have consequenses for the other party.

And by the way: Brainfood Abdullahi brainfood, you know like walnuts ;D

 

[Cabdullahi]

^^ No I didnt mean every day. You just have to overthink your situation and what it means to be married. You have to calculate whether you are ready and know every duty you will have once you are married. You will be responsable for the other person. Like someone on this thread said there is no I in We. That means you will have less personal space and you just cant neglect your dutys when you dont feel like it since it will have consequenses for the other party.

And by the way: Brainfood Abdullahi brainfood, you know like walnuts ;D

what?! walnuts? i will eat them if they'll help my brain's resources to think about marriage and coursework both at the same time simultaneously SON!

 

[★ηαѕιнα★]

^^ ;D I do it dont I? Im a student as well. Dont need them walnuts to keep me going.
Try it sometimes ;D

 

[Beardo]

I once asked my married friend what he can say 'bout marriage...

...he said... "It's no longer 'I'. It's now the 'we'."

:ermm:

 

[cat eyes]

aaaaaah blah blaH blah people have more important things to think about then marriage sometimes :S it also puts pressure on others to get married Why is that the only thing muslims can talk about these days is marriage and really this topic is extremely boring:exhausted i want to talk about islam 24/7 and never get bored of it but it seems when people are not busy talking about marriage, there busy talking about there spouse.... *snore*

;D:hiding:

 

[Beardo]

I'm not so marriage crazy myself at the moment. I guess the desi-ness got to me, so now I'm thinking I better get an education first.

But we are talking about Islam here. Islamic marriage. :X

 

[Asiyah3]

^ Ehm... Even if you were a marriage crazy, you wouldn't admit it right
:hiding:

 

[Cabdullahi]

aaaaaah blah blaH blah people have more important things to think about then marriage sometimes :S it also puts pressure on others to get married Why is that the only thing muslims can talk about these days is marriage and really this topic is extremely boring:exhausted i want to talk about islam 24/7 and never get bored of it but it seems when people are not busy talking about marriage, there busy talking about there spouse.... *snore*

;D:hiding:

Marriage is a part of islam so when you talk about marriage you are talking about islam.....so it shouldnt be a bore!

 

[cat eyes]

I'm not so marriage crazy myself at the moment. I guess the desi-ness got to me, so now I'm thinking I better get an education first.

But we are talking about Islam here. Islamic marriage. :X

But to get married is not our only purpose in the world so why do muslims make it sound like it is.. no wonder people dont know much about there religion because they make finding a partner there one true goal.