Opposite Gender Concerns

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Re: Please help me

Bloody hell, 'lowering your gaze' would be extremely difficult :uuh: At his age in Westen society women are their lives. Women are my lives and there's no way I could lower my gaze. It's impossible.

If you ignored the woman she would probably take it as an offence and think 'stuff you then.' That's if she's westernised. It is a sign of disrespect but if she IS muslim she'll understand right?
 
Re: Please help me

Hey England. :)


The muslim sister would be happy that the guy's not staring at her.. she rather be looked at by her husband.


Imagine this, the most expensive diamonds in a jewellery shop are stored at the back. Why? Because no tom, joe and harry can pick her up, but their kept specifically for the protector - her husband. She doesn't belong to every guy in the street, but she is kept safe from the thiefs, and belongs to her husband only, and he belongs to her.

If she belongs in the street, and is shared by every man - she's going to get hurt/harmed, so she is protected under a veil, and her husband is the only one who shares with her beauty, and she's proud of that because he's not cheating on her either - it's a two way thing. :)




Peace.
 
Re: Please help me

Hi Chris :)

chris4336 said:
These are all true, it just bugs me that a "flirty guy" is encouraged to find a pious women to marry, but the "flirty girl" is considered bad marriage material. I would imagine that all the things you mentioned would be true for her as well.
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Noone is saying that the brother in question is right for flirting, nor are am I saying that she is not suitable for marriage and he is, if the sister was here and she put it down the same way, I'd tell her also, that the brother is not suitable and ask her to think if she'd want him to be the father of her kids, since this kinda behaviours is not very nice for neither male or female!

Both the flirty guy and gal in my eyes are not considered good marriage material, and I would advise both of them to find a pious person.

I only said it to the brother here because he is the one talking to us.

chris4336 said:
I know this is off topic but I know this was a big misconception I had about Islam to begin with, and I think its important to make it clear: Both sexes are required to guard their chasity and lower their gazes, not just women. So flirting is wrong for both sexes - Its not fair to put all the blame on women.
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I personally do agree flirting is wrong with both sexes, and I don't think it is fair to neither blame one party for flirting whether it be the male or female.

Anyhow, I hope I have cleared the misunderstanding.

Eesa.
 
Re: Please help me

Fi_Sabilillah said:
Hey England. :)


The muslim sister would be happy that the guy's not staring at her.. she rather be looked at by her husband.


Imagine this, the most expensive diamonds in a jewellery shop are stored at the back. Why? Because no tom, joe and harry can pick her up, but their kept specifically for the protector - her husband. She doesn't belong to every guy in the street, but she is kept safe from the thiefs, and belongs to her husband only, and he belongs to her.

If she belongs in the street, and is shared by every man - she's going to get hurt/harmed, so she is protected under a veil, and her husband is the only one who shares with her beauty, and she's proud of that because he's not cheating on her either - it's a two way thing. :)




Peace.
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But the guy claims that she's a flirt therefore making herself available to men, that's not Islam is it? That wasn't a rhetorical question, I seriously don't know.
 
Re: Please help me

Hi England.


The answer lies in your question, because if she was practising islaam - she wouldn't be flirting with him in the first place. Therefore we can't judge islaam on this characteristic. :)



Peace.
 
Re: Please help me

its normal. every1 goes thru it. but islamically incorrect neevrtheless. U a typical guy aint ya lol, jus go 4 luks, its personality that counts

anyways regardless of dat i agree wid every1 on here hu says lower ya gaze GET OVER HER!
 
Re: Please help me

Thanks Eesa that makes a lot of sense.

Sorry to get all crazy. Its just that for so long I had the misconception that only Muslim women were supposed to guard their chasity and that Muslim men could do whatever they want. Based on what I've seen in Muslim cultures the society is very insistant on a female's purity.

I was very happy when I finally sat down and read a (translated) Quran, to find out that men and women are both required to maintain their purity. Its just a shame that cultural practices can overshadow the truth of Islam.

Also just wanted to say that I hope the original poster finds the strength to overcome this problem.
 
Re: Please help me

chris4336 said:
Thanks Eesa that makes a lot of sense.

Sorry to get all crazy. Its just that for so long I had the misconception that only Muslim women were supposed to guard their chasity and that Muslim men could do whatever they want. Based on what I've seen in Muslim cultures the society is very insistant on a female's purity.

I was very happy when I finally sat down and read a (translated) Quran, to find out that men and women are both required to maintain their purity. Its just a shame that cultural practices can overshadow the truth of Islam.

Also just wanted to say that I hope the original poster finds the strength to overcome this problem.
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hey used to happen to me all the time, noone can believe how defensive I was of Jesus, peace be upon him.
 
advise

Need some advice. have a friend (girl) whos sikh. problem is i dont no if i should carry on coz she's of the opposite sex, but i am the only one that is actually inviting her to islam and giving her dawa.
 
Re: advise

First thing what are you intentions towards her? Do you wish to take her in your Nikah? or are you just getting to know her and then you will see where this will all go? and if she's Sikh does she want to be muslim? Does she want to learn about islam? Look all these question only you can answer. why get involve in something when you don't know where it will end up?
If you want her to be your wife, then tell her, and it seems as though it's important to you that the girl be muslim, so ask her if she wishes to learn about islam, and if she wants or choses to be a muslim, then go thru it properly. I don't know the exact way of converting, but it's all up to her.
So I don't exactly know what you are asking here, cuz I don't see any question. But I hope my answer gives you some direction. if you are still confused ask what is confusing you.
Take good care.
:sl:
Rab
 
Re: advise

:sl:

^ plus she's not from ahl kitab in first place

n get some toher sis 2do dawah 2her inshalah

:w: :)
 
Re: advise

Assalmualikum warhmathullahi warbarakathuhu

well Akhi i would say bny doing Dawah thats good mashallah, May Allah subahwnatallah accept that but you don't need to see her without her having a mehram with her she needs to have a mehram with her, then go ahead bring her to islam SUBHNALLAH! but you know what at times things lead to stuff which you never wanted becareful as she is the oppsite gender s&& remember thy third person is satan with you so i suggess you talk to her infront of her parents inshallah

do me a favour remember me in your Du3'ah, shukran!

walikumasslam warhmathullahi warbarakathuhu
 
Re: advise

Asalamu Alaikum,

Bro, whatever the case is... you need to keep a restricted relationship with her... Tell her about Islam... thats fine... but do not jeapodize YOUR Islam... follow the guide lines...

If you call her to Islam... do not step outside of Islam to do it... Understand what I mean? Keep it halaal...

If you think you may like her than tell her about Islam... give her a direction to go on... give her resources.. and step back. It is Allah who guides.. you can only show her the direction...

W'salaamz
 
Re: advise

DigitalStorm82 said:
Asalamu Alaikum,

Bro, whatever the case is... you need to keep a restricted relationship with her... Tell her about Islam... thats fine... but do not jeapodize YOUR Islam... follow the guide lines...

If you call her to Islam... do not step outside of Islam to do it... Understand what I mean? Keep it halaal...

If you think you may like her than tell her about Islam... give her a direction to go on... give her resources.. and step back. It is Allah who guides.. you can only show her the direction...

W'salaamz
Click to expand...

Assalmualikum warhmathullahi warbarakathuhu

N3'am well said also remember we can't force someone to come to Islam but we can only do Dawah

do me a favour remember me in your Du3'ah, shukran!
 
brother walkin me home? allowed?

:sl: every friday i have an evening lesson which finishes at 10pm is quite far from where i live so this religious brother in my college offered to walk me home.
i havent got any mahram(2 died one the others dont live in the country), what do i say? hes into the religion and his intentions are gd.

wat do i do? :w:
 
Re: brother walkin me home? allowed?

:sl:

Not a good idea... Is it possible for a mixed group people or just women to accompany you? Find out if anyone women at your study place are driving to your area?
 
Re: brother walkin me home? allowed?

:sl:

A bit risky isnt it? Do you have any other means to get home?
 
Re: brother walkin me home? allowed?

:sl:

Sister, I don't think that's a good idea at all.

The Prophet (saws) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a (non-mehram) woman, the Shaitaan is the third."

Allah (swt) knows best, maybe the brother really doesn't mean anything bad, but being religious as you say he is, he should know that it's not allowed because it could lead to more.

Only Allah (swt) knows of his intentions sister, be on the safe side and don't let him come with you.

If you want company when going home, ask a sister to come with you, insha'Allah.

:w:
 
Re: brother walkin me home? allowed?

AsalamuAlaykum,

well i wouldn't,

And sis you DON'T know what his intentions are :|

So no, inshaAllah, walk alone, with the help of Allah's protection you'll be safe!

Erm, or try and oraganise a lift or walk home with one of the sisters attending the meeting, or whatever it is,

Tc!
 

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